How to Think More About Sex

The School of Life

By: Alain de Botton

Narrated by: David Thorpe

View your sex life in a different light and learn how it can make you happier. Sex is the most intimately human experience there is. It is can also be the most confusing. Our desire to be together conflicts with our desire to avoid vulnerability and appear ‘normal’, leaving us detached, desensitised or embarrassed. Covering topics including adultery, lust, pornography and impotence, Alain de Botton argues that 21st century sex will always be a balancing act of trust versus risk, and of primal desire versus studied civility. By examining sex from a subjective - rather than scientific - perspective, he uncovers new ideas on how we can achieve that balance.

Pulling back the sheets on modern sexuality, How to Think About Sex offers important and surprising wisdom that proves that being good in bed is really all in your head.

©2012 The School of Life (P)2012 Macmillan Digital Audio

A philosophical & realstic view of marriage & sex

Where does How to Think More About Sex rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

A great non-fiction read, with real insights for modern life, forcing us to challenge our belief systems and shine a light on some of the topics we might want to avoid, but need to address.

As with the other I have read books by this author, his logical structure and flow is second to none, without being over complicated. He uses everyday language to posit his points of view. I'd characterise it as: modern and useful philosophy for the (probably educated) masses.

What was the most compelling aspect of this narrative?

As a society, we need to think about the viability and place of marriage and sex in our society.

The typical, dry and understated wit of de Botton, makes it easier to review and challenge some steadfast and institutionalised practices and views including marriage, monogamy, fetishes, and the thrill of the chase.

He challenges pure biological views of the way coupling has evolved. As always, he supports his arguments and observations drawing from a wide variety of sources including art, history, and religion through to scientific research and scholarly works, online chat rooms and pornhub.

He takes a compassionate and humorous view of the challenges that spouses face. Perhaps my favourite passage is:

"Fidelity deserves to be considered an achievement and constantly praised, ideally with some medals and the sound of a public gong, rather than discounted as an unremarkable norm, whose undermining by and affair should provoke spousal rage.

A loyal marriage ought at all times to retain within it an awareness of the immense forbearance and generosity that the two parties are mutually showing, in managing not to sleep around, and for that matter, in refraining from killing each other."

What does David Thorpe bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

David Thorpe reads this with the tone and humour you would expect and hope from the author and the content.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from How to Think More About Sex?

It re-enforces for me the statement that "marriage is not for the faint-hearted". It provides some useful tools and insights as to how we as couples, and as a society, can move forward, being more compassionate, understanding and perhaps a little less judgemental of ourselves and those around us.

Any additional comments?

A useful read for any couple hoping to make it through life together.

depressing

i personally found his you tube talk to be much better. depressing content, didnt do much for me.