How to Mars
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How to Mars
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By:
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David Ebenbach
About this listen
What happens when your dream mission to Mars is a reality television nightmare?
For the six lucky scientists selected by the Destination Mars! corporation, a one-way ticket to Mars - in exchange for a lifetime of research - was an absolute no-brainer. The incredible opportunity was clearly worth even the most absurdly tedious screening process. Perhaps worth following the strange protocols in a nonsensical handbook written by an eccentric billionaire. Possibly even worth their constant surveillance, the video of which is carefully edited into a ratings-bonanza back on Earth.
But it turns out that after a while, even scientists can get bored of science. Tempers begin to fray; unsanctioned affairs blossom. When perfectly good equipment begins to fail, the Marsonauts are faced with a possibility that their training just cannot explain.
Irreverent, poignant, and perfectly weird, David Ebenbach’s exciting debut science-fiction outing, like a mission to Mars, is an incredible trip you will never forget.
Includes bonus story What Lights We Have.
©2021 David Ebenbach (P)2021 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4 out of 5 stars 99
Roger Torraway watched in horror as the monster lurched, toppled over and died. Project Man Plus had gone suddenly and drastically wrong. The race to colonize Mars was too important, too costly, and America was already too committed, for plans to be scrapped. They would have to make a new Martian. And Roger Torraway was it, candidate for the endless surgery, operation after painful operation, that would enable him to survive on that faraway planet.
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4 out of 5 stars
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More timely now than ever
- By Sandy R on 06-28-10
By: Frederik Pohl
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The Fire Seekers
- The Babel Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Richard Farr
- Narrated by: Scott Merriman
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 181
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 158
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Story4 out of 5 stars 160
An undeciphered language in Crete. A rash of mysterious disappearances, from Bolivia to Japan. An ancient warning at the ruins of Babel. And a new spiritual leader, who claims that human history as we understand it is about to come to an end.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fresh story!
- By AB on 02-08-15
By: Richard Farr
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Pi in the Sky
- By: Wendy Mass
- Narrated by: Mark Turetsky
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4 out of 5 stars 27
Pi in the Sky stars Joss, the seventh son of the Supreme Overlord of the Universe, whose job is to deliver magical pies - ones that happen to hold the secrets of the cosmos. But when planet Earth suddenly disappears, Joss must figure out a way to bring it back - even if it means enlisting the help of an outspoken Earth girl named Annika.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Amazing book
- By Chris Badgett on 06-17-23
By: Wendy Mass
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The Terranauts
- A Novel
- By: T. C. Boyle
- Narrated by: Lynde Houck, Joy Osmanski, Charlie Thurston
- Length: 20 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 168
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 154
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 154
It is 1994, and in the desert near Tillman, Arizona, 40 miles from Tucson, a grand experiment involving the future of humanity is underway. As climate change threatens the Earth, eight scientists, four men and four women dubbed the Terranauts, have been selected to live under glass in E2, a prototype of a possible off-Earth colony. Their sealed three-acre compound comprises five biomes - rain forest, savanna, desert, ocean, and marsh - and enough wildlife, water, and vegetation to sustain them.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Aggravating Narrator Ruins Great Book
- By Laura Coen on 12-02-16
By: T. C. Boyle
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Queen of Angels
- By: Greg Bear
- Narrated by: George Guidall
- Length: 19 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 84
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story4 out of 5 stars 68
Emanuel Goldsmith, a famous poet, murdered eight people, then disappeared. Three people want to find him: an aspiring writer, an embittered scientist who wants to use him, and a policewoman who needs to put him in custody before the Selectors, a vigilante organization, get to him first.
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5 out of 5 stars
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fantastic, a whole new experience on audio
- By Tungsten on 04-02-16
By: Greg Bear
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The Goliath Stone
- By: Larry Niven, Matthew Joseph Harrington
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 73
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Story4 out of 5 stars 71
Doctor Toby Glyer has effected miracle cures with the use of nanotechnology. But Glyer’s controversial nanites are more than just the latest technological advance, they are a new form of life - and they have more uses than just medical. Glyer’s nanites also have the potential to make everyone on Earth rich from the wealth of asteroids.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Boring, unbelievable nano junk!
- By GH on 06-27-13
By: Larry Niven, and others
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The Engines of God
- By: Jack McDevitt
- Narrated by: Tom Weiner
- Length: 14 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 612
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 484
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Story4 out of 5 stars 490
Humans call them Monument-Makers. An unknown race, they left stunning alien statues scattered on distant planets throughout the galaxy, encoded with strange inscriptions that defy translation. Searching for clues about the Monument-Makers, teams of 23rd century linguists, historians, engineers and archaeologists have been excavating the enigmatic alien ruins on a number of planets, uncovering strange, massive false cities made of solid rock. But their time is running out.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Conceptually intriguing, but uneven writing style
- By Michael G Kurilla on 05-12-11
By: Jack McDevitt
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Factoring Humanity
- By: Robert J. Sawyer
- Narrated by: Katherine Kellgren
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 562
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 490
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Story4 out of 5 stars 497
In the near future, a signal is detected coming from the Alpha Centauri system. Mysterious, unintelligible data streams in for ten years. Heather Davis, a professor in the University of Toronto psychology department, has devoted her career to deciphering the message. Her estranged husband, Kyle, is working on the development of artificial intelligence systems and new computer technology utilizing quantum effects to produce a near-infinite number of calculations simultaneously.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Novel alien first contact
- By Michael G Kurilla on 05-28-12
By: Robert J. Sawyer
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You're Going to Mars!
- By: Rob Dircks
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,057
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,718
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,706
Living and slaving in Fill City One, you get used to the smell. We call it the Everpresent Stink. But every once in a while, on a spring day with a breeze, it clears away enough to remind us that there is something more out there. Most Fillers' wildest dreams would be just to get past the walls and live in the mainland. But my dream? It’s a little bigger. I’m going to Mars.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Reviewers Choice Award, its that good
- By Midwestbonsai on 11-13-18
By: Rob Dircks
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Blind Lake
- By: Robert Charles Wilson
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 197
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 143
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 147
Robert Charles Wilson, says The New York Times, "writes superior science fiction thrillers." His Darwinia won Canada's Aurora Award; his most recent novel, The Chronoliths, won the prestigious John W. Campbell Memorial Award. Now he tells a gripping tale of alien contact and human love in a mysterious but hopeful universe.
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2 out of 5 stars
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DIMINISHED EXPECTATIONS
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 06-22-15
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Second Hand Heart
- By: Catherine Ryan Hyde
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Anthony Bowden
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 198
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 181
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Story4 out of 5 stars 180
Vida is only 19, but she knows a lot about dying. Her weak heart has kept her on the edge of death her whole life. It hasn't been much of a life. Thanks to her overprotective mother, Vida's only friend is Esther, an elderly Holocaust survivor who lives upstairs. Vida's heart is finally about to give out unless she can get a donor heart in time. Richard is 36 and blissfully married until he gets the call that his beloved wife has died in a car accident. His world falls to pieces.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Worst one yet
- By SAL on 06-23-16
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Expecting Adam
- A True Story of Birth, Rebirth, and Everyday Magic
- By: Martha Beck
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 12 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 280
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 247
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 250
From the moment Martha and her husband, John, conceived their second child, all hell broke loose. They were a couple obsessed with success. After years of matching IQs and test scores with less driven peers, they had two Harvard degrees apiece and were gunning for more. But the dream had begun to disintegrate. Then, when their unborn son, Adam, was diagnosed with Down syndrome, doctors, advisers, and friends in the Harvard community warned them not to keep the baby.
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5 out of 5 stars
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True Life Fairy Tale
- By Desarae on 11-27-13
By: Martha Beck
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Seveneves
- A Novel
- By: Neal Stephenson
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal, Will Damron
- Length: 31 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 25,320
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 23,144
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Story4 out of 5 stars 23,137
A catastrophic event renders the earth a ticking time bomb. In a feverish race against the inevitable, nations around the globe band together to devise an ambitious plan to ensure the survival of humanity far beyond our atmosphere, in outer space.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Odd narrator choice
- By Josh Mitchell on 05-30-15
By: Neal Stephenson
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To Be Taught, If Fortunate
- By: Becky Chambers
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 4 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 937
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 820
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 817
At the turn of the 22nd century, scientists make a breakthrough in human spaceflight. Through a revolutionary method known as somaforming, astronauts can survive in hostile environments off Earth using synthetic biological supplementations. With the fragility of the body no longer a limiting factor, human beings are at last able to journey to neighboring exoplanets long known to harbor life. A team of these explorers, Ariadne O’Neill and her three crewmates, are hard at work in a planetary system 15 light-years from Sol, on a mission to ecologically survey four habitable worlds.
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4 out of 5 stars
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"Gay & Lesbian"?!? This is solid Sci-Fi
- By Jennifer on 09-16-19
By: Becky Chambers
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Time for the Stars
- By: Robert A. Heinlein
- Narrated by: Barrett Whitener
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,531
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,356
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,364
Travel to other planets is now a reality, and with overpopulation stretching the resources of Earth, the necessity of finding habitable worlds is growing ever more urgent. There’s a problem though—because the spaceships are slower than light, any communication between the exploring ships and Earth would take years.
Tom and Pat are identical twin teenagers. As twins they’ve always been close, so close that it seemed like they could read each other’s minds.
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5 out of 5 stars
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My First Heinlein
- By DJM on 01-27-11
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Lockstep
- By: Karl Schroeder
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 13 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 76
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 72
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Story4 out of 5 stars 71
When 17-year-old Toby McGonigal finds himself lost in space, separated from his family, he expects his next drift into cold sleep to be his last. After all, the planet he' s orbiting is frozen and sunless, and the cities are dead. But when Toby wakes again, he' s surprised to discover a thriving planet, a strange and prosperous galaxy, and something stranger still - that he' s been asleep for 14,000 years. Welcome to the Lockstep Empire, where civilization is kept alive by careful hibernation. Here cold sleeps can last decades and waking moments mere weeks.
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1 out of 5 stars
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A Great Idea, Poorly Served
- By D. M. ROBISON on 04-01-14
By: Karl Schroeder
What listeners say about How to Mars
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Ally Beauchamp
- 12-03-21
Best Mars-based title since Bradbury...
I laughed. I cried. I didn't want it to end. Hilarious and insightful and a brilliant performance from every single narrator. What a power team!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- VJG
- 12-08-21
hard to encapsulate without spoiling ...
A fun, surprising, imaginative story about what might happen among humans who colonize the red (orange) planet. Heart-warming, inspiring and a little frightening in places. The performances were spot on - I really loved whichever narrator read the "How To" sections. With Stefan a close 2nd. highly recommended.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Patrick Smith
- 11-16-22
gotta call this a meh
group of people being bored on Mars. not that different than people being bored on Earth. some conflict started to show up but then everyone just decided to get on with being bored.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- GCJ
- 12-10-21
An amazing story with some of the best actors
When I first started this book I was very iffy about it. I loved books about space especially ones kinda like this one. Eventually it grew on me and I kept listening and I couldn’t stop at all. This book especially near the end was just so heart warming and absolutely amazing. The story is just perfect with a good amount of actual life questions and very good humor. The voice actors made this all the better and made me truly fall in love with this book. 10/10 and Stefan is definitely my favorite.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- pamela
- 06-07-22
Just Okay
An okay story, I liked the ending. I was not a fan of the Mars Handbook portions. I love science fiction but this didn't satisfy my search for a good science fiction book.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- shane marlow
- 12-17-21
such a joy
i laughed and smiled the whole way through, the writing is fantastic and the performance was SO entertaining I'll be listening again
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Marsha
- 06-05-22
This book will make you smile!
Such a creative and fun book. Very witty and thought-provoking. If you are looking for a fun, quick read, and like to chuckle out loud, I highly recommend this book.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Mark K. Bookbinder
- 12-03-21
Interesting start pour finish
Story starts out strong with the hint of maybe it’s going to be funny then the end is rushed and the whole story just peters out to a whimper.
The performance of the narrators is very well done. With good inflection for different voices of different people. But that’s not the story.
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1 person found this helpful