Hold Me Under

Water, Air, Earth, Fire, Book 1

By: Riley Nash

Narrated by: J.F. Harding, Stephen Dexter

Love is cheap. Love is cruel. Love can’t save us.

Victor Lang had everything—looks, money, fame. A chance to become the greatest swimmer in history. Until a failed dope test brought him crashing down.

According to the rumors, he turned into a recluse, a drug addict, a whore. Broken beyond repair. Incapable of love.

And for some reason, he’s set his sights on me.

A freak accident in his pool throws me into a world of wealth and status and people who are willing to do anything to get what they want. Before I know it, I’m being paid to fly to Italy and pose as his boyfriend. Trapped at his side, I learn what it means to truly hate someone.

Turns out, that’s exactly what he wants.

I can’t save him, and I can’t love him. But as things fall apart and I discover the truths he’s hiding, I learn that hate can be greater than love—an obsession, a prayer, dark days and darker nights, a need to be the only one who hurts him. Hate can heal the worst wounds love leaves behind.

But I have problems of my own, a broken spirit and loved ones to protect. And I’m scared to face the things he’s waking up inside of me.

A gritty, emotional, epic hate-to-love slow burn with an inexperienced top and his bratty bottom, hurt/comfort, obsession, and healing.

Contains dark themes, adult content, and potential triggers, though every effort was made to portray them thoughtfully and sensitively.

Specific triggers (potential spoilers): sexual abuse (off the page), suicidal ideation, drug abuse, disordered eating, trauma, death, mental illness, homophobic language

©2022 Riley Nash (P)2022 Riley Nash

I seriously need a hug after this, so beautiful!

For the love of romance, this book took it out of me. My heart feels confused. Is it broken? Is it repaired? I don't know.

Victor you seriously disturbed boy. You've had everything you've ever needed your entire life and here you are acting as if you haven't been given anything. As if you don't need anyone and anything because they will just be gone anyway so what is the point of getting attached in the first place. Then Ethan, I don't know what to say about you sir other than you deserve saint hood because I would have choked Victor out about a dozen times in the first three chapters!!

Come on... I don't bash stories; don't you know me by now? Uh, my heart! I literally have been seeing this book everywhere for so long now and it was just one of those stories that kept getting pushed back into my TBR for another date and I am seriously kicking myself in the butt because of it. Victor might have been this difficult character, but his life was not easy, the tragedies he suffered ultimately broke him in a way no one could have predicted. And Ethan was lucky enough to be that for him, to love him and be someone he could finally trust.

Narration matters, I have said that time and time again because it does. J.F. Harding and Stephen Dexter made this book for me with their portrayals of these characters. Stephen was a new to me narrator and now I am like "I WANT MORE" and then J.F. Harding won my heart the first time he said darlin' as a cowboy.

When Riley puts that this is a "Guaranteed HEA" they weren't wrong but at the same time this was earned through tears, fears and so much hate. I can't even imagine how deep Riley had to dive to get this story onto the pages but boy am I glad they did.

Passionate and great narration

Audio ARC provided by Riley Nash

🖤 MM romance
🖤 enemies to lovers
🖤 hurt/comfort
🖤 fake dating
🖤 forced proximity
🖤 slow burn
🖤 steamy scenes
🖤 high angst

The Story line

Victor Lang, once the greatest swimmer until he tested positive for doping. His fall from gracious has left him a reclusive and suffering from mental health.

Ethan is working several jobs caring for his mother who’s slowly fading as dementia has taken a hold of her body.
Working landscaping he ends up at Victors big house and realizing who he is (a childhood idol) has him take a step backwards into the pool, and he panics when he has flashbaks of when he almost drowned trying to save his cousin. Victor dives in to bring him up to the surface.

Weird behaviour from victor and a visit from his dad, offering Ethan money to pretend to be in a relationship with Victor. Money that he needs to fulfill a dream of taking his mom around the world.

They go to europe to promote Victors return to the world but Victor wants no part of that world, and struggles deeply to function. Ethan thinks maybe he can help him, but struggles himself with a troubled past and they both really end up helping each other.

Their mutual hatred towards each other from the beginning, makes this a dynamic ping pong relationship where they eventually end up having sex, just for fun, and just until they go back home. But somewhere along the line feeling develop and Ethan starts to see Victor’s true reasons for struggling with so many things in the world.

The Audiobook

J.F. Harding and Stephen Dexter do an amazing job narrating this book. Both are passionate and great actors. You feel each of the MCs struggles and they really has you listning to the storyline.

Please take note of the author's TWs - there are lots of confronting issues, although most of them are off-page.

Gut punch of emotions

With most reviews, I write them as I listen to the book BUT with this book I couldn’t. I literally had no words, just emotions. I was never sure if the punches to the gut would end or if these two lost souls would ever find happiness.

There are many parts that are so deeply sad. You wallow in the grief. Ethan has lost so much and is scared of the water for very good reasons. Victor’s only refuge is the water. He’s an Olympic caliber swimmer. Victor has been traumatized by the people who he was supposed to trusted the most. This has turned him into a recluse. Fate throws these two together and the journey to their HEA is fraught with emotional moments and epically sad backstories.

I’m happy I listened to this but I also should mention that you definitely should heed the TWs for this book. I’m glad the book ended so hopefully. These characters deserved the happiness. The narration was excellent and really captured the feeling and vibe well.

J F Harding!!

This was a completely great listen !! Very story driven with compelling, real , raw characters with very sexy steam ! J F Harding will swoon you as always ! Stephen Dexter is very entertaining as well !

I'm feeling generous, give it a try.

Let's start with the narration. I will listen to JF Harding any day of the week. However he was wasted in this book. So many reviews gush about the "perfect pairing" or how great Stephen Dexter is. Nonsense. Have you listened to Sarina Bowen's "Roommate"? If you have, you have heard the Dexter one trick pony narration. I could hear a line from that book over and over "we're having butter fried chick-en, mashed po-ta-toes..." I wanted to scream. Everything he does sounds the same. Sure, it has pleasing moments of gravel, but I do not like his women's voice work, and like too many narrators, he has a trademark cadence that is employed in every book of his I have heard. I have said in other reviews that I am 100% over the dual narration, this book is perfect example of why. The characters do not have equal page time. Dexter reads the larger part which immediately irritated me as I realized the structure of the book. Harding is completely wasted, and their vocal choices for the characters contradicts the other narrators choices. Why is this a thing?

Now the story. Nash does an overall pleasing job. It is trope heavy, but mostly well done. Cold, controlling father, misunderstood bad boy, the hardworking guy with the weight of the world on his shoulders - they are all there. I will be as careful as I can be, but there might be hints of plot ahead. Non plot irritants - Victor wears thongs? WTF is that about? He is a swimmer, not a go-go dancer. It is mentioned several times and it makes no sense. Also, we are expected to believe that the world of competitive swimming is rife with narcotics and alcohol abuse. Cocaine? Pills? I would believe a character, but a whole co-ed team? Then there is the issue between father and son which is constantly alluded to, but is never really resolved, just a single sentence that clears up nothing.

There are a number of little things at the end that make no sense, but you just have to let them go and enjoy the odd chemistry Nash has written, Detailing here would give away parts of the resolution. I do recommend for the well handled tropes. I think a better read than listen, but you can get through the audio. I have listened twice.

Beautiful

I cried too many times. This story was amazing and I can’t wait to finish the series

breathtaking

beautiful writing and beautiful narration. the story of Victor and Ethan gripped me from beginning to end. sometimes it hurt. actually it hurt a lot of the times. but it was so beautifully told that I didn't want to stop listening.
a disgraced former Olympian hopeful and a man trying to help his mother cross paths and begin a journey that will leave them both changed.
please check the trigger warnings on this one, but the story was well worth the pain for me. I loved every second of this book.

Terrific Story & Narration🎧 Gripping & Intense!

Wow, this book takes you on an emotional rollercoaster ride, one that you can not pull yourself away from. It is my first book written by Riley Nash and he certainly grabbed my attention with their impressive writing style and ability to create such a detailed and complex story that moves you like no other. The characters are realistic, easy to relate to and connect with, they are easy to care about too, even when they are at their lowest. And when we first meet Victor Lang, he seems to be at his lowest or spiraling towards his lowest, and his story is not an easy one and neither was his life. A former athlete, an Olympian swimmer, disgraced and scandalized after getting caught using performance-enhancing drugs. A scandal that ruined his career and possibly his life, he became a recluse, but his rich daddy enabled him over the years and now wants him to work. Ethan is a dutiful son, struggling to make ends meet with paying bills and making sure his mother gets the care she needs for her cognitive issues and care, since he can not leave her on her own. Working for a lawn company, he gets sent to the home of an athlete he and his cousin idolized when they were younger, that was before his career tanked because of the doping scandal. While working in his yard he gets a glimpse of Victor who catches him watching him, their first meeting was not a friendly one, but Victor’s father witnesses their interaction and since Ethan is the first person his son responded to, he wanted to hire Ethan to work with Victor. You would think his father was doing this out of the goodness of his heart, but their relationship is and has been a dysfunctional one. Ethan could use the money and hopefully get better care for his Mom. When he offered more money to accompany Victor for a modeling gig, his father set up, he jumps on it. These two could not be more different from each other, coming from completely different worlds, yet they worked and Ethan, who has a caring heart of gold is just what Victor needs, but Ethan also opens his eyes and reflects on his own life too. The author makes these two work to get thru their issues and to their happily ever after and their journey is not a smooth one, there are many obstacles and bumps along the way. There is never a dull moment in this book and there are scenes that wreck you, gut wrenching and heartrending scenes, but in the end you find out why, what and who and once the truth comes out, healing can begin. Riley Nash, thank you for this amazing story and emotional rollercoaster ride.

🎧📚🎧 And for the wonderful narration, J.F. Harding and Stephen Dexter are the perfect cast to bring these characters to life and do so with a complete understanding of the character they were portraying and were believable in every role they played. You could hear how much heart they put into their performance as they captured the character’s emotions and had you feeling every single one. These versatile voice artists are entertaining storytellers and a pleasure to listen to. Thank you for another fantastic performance.

Dark & tragic, but worth it! Fantastic narration!

I would give this book a solid 4.5 stars. With a happy/hopeful ending that was definitely not easily achieved, this story pulls you through the painful process of facing the fears you buried deep-deep down in order to survive. Ethan had idolized Victor and struggled with his fall from grace. They say you shouldn’t meet your heroes and this book is a perfect example of that. Victor & Ethan are absolute dysfunction, but their broken pieces fit together. I don’t know how Ethan puts up with him, but he just can’t let go. On the outside it’s easy to see why people would think that Victor has it all, but he is very troubled with some major trauma in his past, both physical and psychological. It’s complex and sometimes even terrible, but beneath it all is a beautifully broken person who had given up and then finds a glimmer of hope in Ethan. It’s hard to believe a beautifully complex story can come from such broken characters. Tragic, heartbreaking, and healing. This story goes dark, but it’s worth the journey. If you enjoy a story with a hard-won happy ending this one is for you. It’s a struggle, though, so be prepared for angst.

The narrators were the primary driver for me. This would have been a completely different book with different casting. J.F. Harding and Stephen Dexter really brought out the complex personalities and carried me through the deeply troubling struggles and often frustrating scenes. Truly excellent performances that kept me engaged even when I was finding the characters themselves very frustrating.

Excellent Start to a Series

Excellent start to a new series! This book will grab your attention right off the bat and hold it through to the end. One of the best duet narrations I've ever heard. Highly recommend!