Have You Eaten Grandma?
Or, the Life-Saving Importance of Correct Punctuation, Grammar, and Good English
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Have You Eaten Grandma?
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Narrated by:
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Gyles Brandreth
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By:
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Gyles Brandreth
About this listen
For anyone who wants to make fewer (not less) grammar mistakes, a lively, effective, and witty guide to all the ins and outs of the English language, reminiscent of the New York Times best-seller Eats, Shoots & Leaves.
Our language is changing, literary levels are declining, and our grasp of grammar is at a crisis point. From commas to colons, apostrophes to adverbs, there are countless ways we can make mistakes when writing or speaking. But do not despair! Great Britain’s most popular grammar guru has created the ultimate modern manual for English speakers on both sides of the Atlantic.
In this brilliantly funny and accessible guide to proper punctuation and so much more, Gyles Brandreth explores the linguistic horrors of our times, tells us what we’ve been doing wrong and shows us how, in the future, we can get it right every time. Covering everything from dangling participles to transitive verbs, from age-old conundrums like “lay” vs. “lie”, to the confounding influences of social media on our everyday language, Have You Eaten Grandma? is an endlessly useful and entertaining resource for all.
©2019 Gyles Brandreth (P)2019 Simon & Schuster AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 54
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 47
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 45
"If Shakespeare were alive today, he'd sound like an American." "English accents are the sexiest." "Americans have ruined the English language." "Technology means everyone will have to speak the same English." Such claims about the English language are often repeated but rarely examined. Professor Lynne Murphy is on the linguistic front line. In The Prodigal Tongue she explores the fiction and reality of the special relationship between British and American English.
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2 out of 5 stars
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TOO MUCH BITTERNESS
- By Tina on 08-27-20
By: Lynne Murphy
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The Mother Tongue
- By: Bill Bryson
- Narrated by: Stephen McLaughlin
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,278
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,106
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,100
With dazzling wit and astonishing insight, Bill Bryson - the acclaimed author of The Lost Continent - brilliantly explores the remarkable history, eccentricities, resilience, and sheer fun of the English language. From the first descent of the larynx into the throat (why you can talk but your dog can't) to the fine lost art of swearing, Bryson tells the fascinating, often uproarious story of an inadequate, second-rate tongue of peasants that developed into one of the world's largest growth industries.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
More satire than history
- By Barbara Kindle Customer on 12-18-15
By: Bill Bryson
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Words on the Move
- Why English Won't - and Can't - Sit Still (Like, Literally)
- By: John McWhorter
- Narrated by: John McWhorter
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,410
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,270
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,262
Words on the Move opens our eyes to the surprising backstories to the words and expressions we use every day. Did you know that silly once meant "blessed"? Or that ought was the original past tense of owe? Or that the suffix -ly in adverbs is actually a remnant of the word like? And have you ever wondered why some people from New Orleans sound as if they come from Brooklyn?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Review By a Fan
- By Margaret on 09-25-16
By: John McWhorter
-
The Glamour of Grammar
- By: Roy Peter Clark
- Narrated by: Roy Peter Clark
- Length: 8 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 59
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 40
Early in the history of English, glamour and grammar were the same word, linked to enchantment and magical spells. Now grammar brings to mind language bullies and bored-out-of-their-skulls students. Roy Peter Clark, one of America’s most influential writing teachers, wants to change that by putting the glamour back into grammar.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Wasteful
- By ABID on 12-05-13
By: Roy Peter Clark
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How to Write Short
- Word Craft for Fast Times
- By: Roy Peter Clark
- Narrated by: Roy Peter Clark
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 81
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 73
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 72
In How to Write Short , Roy Peter Clark turns his attention to the art of painting a thousand pictures with just a few words. Short forms of writing have always existed - from ship logs and telegrams to prayers and haikus. But in this ever-changing Internet age, short-form writing has become an essential skill. Clark covers how to write effective and powerful titles, headlines, essays, sales pitches, Tweets, letters, and even self-descriptions for online dating services.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Ironically long
- By Amazon Customer on 03-14-16
By: Roy Peter Clark
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The Elements of Eloquence
- Secrets of the Perfect Turn of Phrase
- By: Mark Forsyth
- Narrated by: Don Hagen
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,734
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,558
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,530
In his inimitably entertaining and wonderfully witty style, he takes apart famous phrases and shows how you too can write like Shakespeare or quip like Oscar Wilde. Whether you’re aiming to achieve literary immortality or just hoping to deliver the perfect one-liner, The Elements of Eloquence proves that you don’t need to have anything important to say - you simply need to say it well.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Who knew rhetoric could be so much fun?
- By Philo on 10-30-14
By: Mark Forsyth
-
The Memoir Project
- A Thoroughly Non-Standardized Text For Writing & Life
- By: Marion Roach Smith
- Narrated by: Marion Roach Smith
- Length: 3 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 196
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 169
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 167
Whether or not one has lived an exceptional or dramatic life, we inherently understand that writing memoir—whether it’s a book, blog, or just a letter to a child - is the single greatest portal to self-examination. Stop treading water in writing exercises or hiding behind “writer’s block” and learn how to write with intent. Marion Roach Smith’s disarmingly frank but wildly fun tactics offer you simple and effective guidelines that work. Your legacy beings now.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
amazing what you can learn from brevity
- By Schwartz-Burrill on 09-15-11
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Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue
- The Untold History of English
- By: John McWhorter
- Narrated by: John McWhorter
- Length: 5 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 4,026
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,402
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 3,378
A survey of the quirks and quandaries of the English language, focusing on our strange and wonderful grammar. Why do we say "I am reading a catalog" instead of "I read a catalog"? Why do we say "do" at all? Is the way we speak a reflection of our cultural values? Delving into these provocative topics and more, Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue distills hundreds of years of fascinating lore into one lively history.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great for casual linguists
- By Bertie on 01-11-10
By: John McWhorter
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You Say Potato: A Book About Accents
- By: Ben Crystal, David Crystal
- Narrated by: David Crystal, Ben Crystal, Jane Savage, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 76
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 71
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 70
Some people say 'sconn' while others say 'schown'. He says 'bath' while she says 'bahth'. You say 'potayto'. I say 'potahto'. And - wait a second, no one says 'potahto'. No one's ever said 'potahto'. Have they? From reconstructing Shakespeare's accent to the rise and fall of received pronunciation, actor Ben Crystal and his linguist father, David, travel the world in search of the stories of spoken English.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Wish there were more native recordings.
- By Matt Dobler on 07-01-16
By: Ben Crystal, and others
-
Born to Kvetch
- Yiddish Language and Culture in All of Its Moods
- By: Michael Wex
- Narrated by: Michael Wex
- Length: 10 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 174
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 93
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 93
As the main spoken language of the Jews for more than a thousand years, Yiddish has had plenty to lament, plenty to conceal. Its phrases and expressions paint a comprehensive picture of the mind-set that enabled the Jews of Europe to survive persecution: they never stopped kvetching about God, gentiles, children, and everything else.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Fascinating, but...
- By Christopher B. on 04-05-16
By: Michael Wex
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How to Speak and Write Correctly
- By: Joseph Devlin
- Narrated by: Shawn Grisden
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 43
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 35
This book has no pretension about it whatever -- it is neither a Manual of Rhetoric, expatiating on the dogmas of style, nor a Grammar full of arbitrary rules and exceptions. It is merely an effort to help ordinary, everyday people to express themselves in ordinary, everyday language, in a proper manner.
By: Joseph Devlin
-
Draft No. 4
- On the Writing Process
- By: John McPhee
- Narrated by: John McPhee
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 248
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 208
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 209
Draft No. 4 is an elucidation of the writer's craft by a master practitioner. In a series of playful but expertly wrought essays, John McPhee shares insights he's gathered over his career and refined during his long-running course at Princeton University, where he has launched some of the most esteemed writers of several generations. McPhee offers a definitive guide to the crucial decisions regarding structure, diction, and tone that shape nonfiction pieces and presents extracts from some of his best-loved work, subjecting them to wry scrutiny.
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4 out of 5 stars
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McPhee is the Craft
- By Darwin8u on 09-19-17
By: John McPhee
-
Ex Libris
- Confessions of a Common Reader
- By: Anne Fadiman
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 62
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 62
Anyone who has ever loved a book will relish this playful, yet deeply literate collection of essays celebrating the joy of reading. From building castles with books as a child, to the trauma of joining her library with her husband's, the author reveals, with much warmth and humor, the intimate details of her lifelong affair with books. For Anne Fadiman, books are not built for function, and certainly not for decoration. They are close personal friends who never fail to delight and amaze.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Reading IS fun!
- By Diana on 04-14-05
By: Anne Fadiman
-
500 Funny Quotes for Women
- Inspirational Quotes to Boost Your Mood Instantly & Make Your Day a Little Happier!
- By: Stan Hardy
- Narrated by: Jill Rolls
- Length: 1 hr and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 35
Funny quotes are great; they allow us to take a quick break, relax, and take life a bit easier. And who doesn’t need those in today’s hectic life? Whether you are looking for an innovative way to cheer yourself up and deal with the daily stresses, stay focused and motivated, or simply trying to find a fantastic gift for a friend or a loved one, 500 Funny Quotes for Women could be a perfect choice!
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Made me smile.
- By Lyvon Netherton on 04-13-24
By: Stan Hardy
-
Semicolon
- The Past, Present, and Future of a Misunderstood Mark
- By: Cecelia Watson
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 3 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 67
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
A pause-resisting, existential romp through the life and times of the world’s most polarizing punctuation mark. Through her rollicking biography of the semicolon, Watson writes a guide to grammar that explains why we don’t need guides at all and refocuses our attention on the deepest, most primary value of language: true communication.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Silly me; I thought it was about semicolons
- By Jeffrey D on 08-15-19
By: Cecelia Watson
-
Dear Fahrenheit 451
- Love and Heartbreak in the Stacks
- By: Annie Spence
- Narrated by: Stephanie Spicer
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 77
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 67
Librarians spend their lives weeding - not weeds, but books - books that have reached the end of their shelf life both literally and figuratively. They remove books that patrons no longer check out, and they put back books they treasure. Annie Spence, who has a decade of experience as a Midwestern librarian, does this not only at her Michigan library but also at home, for her neighbors, at cocktail parties - everywhere. In Dear Fahrenheit 451, she addresses those books directly.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Totally captivating
- By Grace Smith on 03-24-18
By: Annie Spence
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Through sloppy usage and low standards on the internet, in email, and now text messages, we have made proper punctuation an endangered species. In Eats, Shoots & Leaves, former editor Lynne Truss dares to say, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. If there are only pedants left who care, then so be it. This is a book for people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled.
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1 out of 5 stars
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In this wildly entertaining A to Z of verbal acrobatics, Gyles takes you on a whirlwind tour of our mother tongue – from the origins of words and correct grammar and punctuation, to similes, euphemisms and record breaking tongue twisters (try getting your mouth around floccinaucinihilipification!). An idiosyncratic blend of history, word play, anecdote, and hyperbole, all in 60-second instalments, this is Gyles Brandreth at his word-perfect, Just-a-Minute best. You’ll never mix your metaphors again...
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Elizabeth
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This intimate, personal biography of Queen Elizabeth II tells the story of her remarkable life, reign and times, from a perspective unlike any other. Gyles Brandreth writes the Queen's tale candidly with grace and sensitivity from the view of someone who met her, talked with her and kept a record of those conversations. Brandreth knew the Queen's husband well and knows the new King and Queen Consort.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Puff about the power
- By robin cahill on 04-15-24
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Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing
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- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 461
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Mignon Fogarty, a.k.a. Grammar Girl, is determined to wipe out bad grammar—but she's also determined to make the process as painless as possible. One year ago, she created a weekly podcast to tackle some of the most common mistakes people make while communicating. More than seven million episodes have now been downloaded, and Mignon has dispensed grammar tips on Oprah and appeared on the pages of the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and USA Today.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Worthwhile But Not in Audio Form
- By Patricia B Tripoli on 09-25-10
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Dancing by the Light of the Moon
- Over 250 Poems to Read, Relish and Recite
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 5
For every moment in your life there is a poem. In Dancing by the Light of the Moon, we have a remarkable collection of over 250 best-loved poems in the English-speaking world. Allow Gyles Brandreth to be your guide to not only the wonders of poetry - and there are many - but also its practical uses in everyday life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Joy
- By English Rose on 08-05-22
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Dreyer's English
- An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 342
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As Random House’s copy chief, Dreyer has upheld the standards of the legendary publisher for more than two decades. He is beloved by authors and editors alike - not to mention his followers on social media - for deconstructing the English language with playful erudition. Now, he distills everything he has learned from the myriad books he has copyedited and overseen into a useful guide not just for writers but for everyone who wants to put their best prose foot forward.
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5 out of 5 stars
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You'll be horrified at a lifetime of usage errors.
- By RTaylor on 05-16-19
By: Benjamin Dreyer
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Eats, Shoots & Leaves
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 124
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Story4 out of 5 stars 122
Through sloppy usage and low standards on the internet, in email, and now text messages, we have made proper punctuation an endangered species. In Eats, Shoots & Leaves, former editor Lynne Truss dares to say, in her delightfully urbane, witty, and very English way, that it is time to look at our commas and semicolons and see them as the wonderful and necessary things they are. If there are only pedants left who care, then so be it. This is a book for people who love punctuation and get upset when it is mishandled.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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In this wildly entertaining A to Z of verbal acrobatics, Gyles takes you on a whirlwind tour of our mother tongue – from the origins of words and correct grammar and punctuation, to similes, euphemisms and record breaking tongue twisters (try getting your mouth around floccinaucinihilipification!). An idiosyncratic blend of history, word play, anecdote, and hyperbole, all in 60-second instalments, this is Gyles Brandreth at his word-perfect, Just-a-Minute best. You’ll never mix your metaphors again...
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story5 out of 5 stars 34
This intimate, personal biography of Queen Elizabeth II tells the story of her remarkable life, reign and times, from a perspective unlike any other. Gyles Brandreth writes the Queen's tale candidly with grace and sensitivity from the view of someone who met her, talked with her and kept a record of those conversations. Brandreth knew the Queen's husband well and knows the new King and Queen Consort.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Puff about the power
- By robin cahill on 04-15-24
By: Gyles Brandreth
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Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing
- By: Mignon Fogarty
- Narrated by: Mignon Fogarty
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 461
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 300
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 300
Mignon Fogarty, a.k.a. Grammar Girl, is determined to wipe out bad grammar—but she's also determined to make the process as painless as possible. One year ago, she created a weekly podcast to tackle some of the most common mistakes people make while communicating. More than seven million episodes have now been downloaded, and Mignon has dispensed grammar tips on Oprah and appeared on the pages of the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, and USA Today.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Worthwhile But Not in Audio Form
- By Patricia B Tripoli on 09-25-10
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- By: Gyles Brandreth
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 8
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 5
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Joy
- By English Rose on 08-05-22
By: Gyles Brandreth
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- An Utterly Correct Guide to Clarity and Style
- By: Benjamin Dreyer
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- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 342
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 297
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 284
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5 out of 5 stars
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You'll be horrified at a lifetime of usage errors.
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What listeners say about Have You Eaten Grandma?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Darrell Grob
- 05-11-24
Fascinating and Entertaining
I was made aware of Gyles on the game show Qi, and I think he is a fascinating personality. Admittedly, a book about grammar shouldn't be particularly entertaining, but this one is. it's terrific and well worth the listen.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- judiju
- 01-05-22
Slow down the speed. It helps a lot.
I love the title and the cover art. The author knows his subject matter backwards and forward and he explains it briskly in a native British accent.
As a speaker and writer of American English, I tried to follow along. Things improved once I adjusted the narrating speed.
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
-
Performance2 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- Shane Burgel
- 08-26-19
Not for audio
If you enjoy listening to words being spelled over and over so that you can tell the differences than this is a great book for you. Otherwise do yourself a favor and get the print version.
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2 people found this helpful