Friendship in the Age of Loneliness
An Optimist's Guide to Connection
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Narrated by:
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Adam Smiley Poswolsky
About this listen
After a year of social distancing and lockdown measures during the pandemic, it’s more clear than ever that our friendships and social bonds are vital to our health and happiness. This refreshing, positive guide helps you take care of your people and form deep connections in the digital age
We are lonelier than ever. The average American hasn't made a new friend in the last five years.
Research has shown that people with close friends are happier, healthier, and live longer than people who lack strong social bonds. But why - when we are seemingly more connected than ever before - can it feel so difficult to keep those bonds alive and well? Why do we spend only four percent of our time with friends?
In this warm, inspiring guide, Adam "Smiley" Poswolsky proposes a new solution for the mounting pressures of modern life: focus on your friendships. Smiley offers practical habits and playful reminders on how to create meaningful connections, make new friends, and deepen relationships. He'll help you develop a healthier relationship with technology, but he'll also encourage you to prioritize real-world experiences, send snail mail, and engage in self-reflective exercises.
Written in short, digestible, action-oriented sections, this book reminds us that nurturing old and new friendships is a ritual, a necessity, and one of the most worthwhile things we can do in life.
©2021 Adam Smiley Poswolsky (P)2021 Running Press AdultListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Smiley is a friendship visionary, snatching friendship out of the once-a-month-happy-hour box we tend to place it in and teaching us how to pump our friendships with fresh life. At our core we are social, but technology has alienated us from our roots. Smiley brings us back home.” (Dr. Marisa Franco, psychologist and friendship expert)
“Follow Smiley’s advice in this book and make sure your time is time well spent with the people you love most.” (Tristan Harris, cofounder and president, Center for Humane Technology)
“Vulnerable and inspiring, this book will bring more creativity, play, and wonder into your social life.” (Amber Rae, author of Choose Wonder over Worry)
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Is there a hidden part of you that no one else sees? Do you have a vivid inner world of thoughts and emotions that your peers and loved ones can't seem to access? Have you ever been told you're too quiet, shy, boring, or awkward? Are your habits and comfort zones questioned by a society that doesn't seem to get you? If so, you might be an introvert. On behalf of those who have long been misunderstood, rejected, or ignored, fellow introvert Jenn Granneman writes a compassionate vindication.
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Unnecessary voices
- By Adrienne Warg on 09-13-19
By: Jenn Granneman
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Women Rowing North
- By: Mary Pipher
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Women growing older contend with ageism, misogyny and loss. Yet as Mary Pipher shows, most older women are deeply happy and filled with gratitude for the gifts of life. Their struggles help them grow into the authentic, empathetic and wise people they have always wanted to be. In Women Rowing North, Pipher offers a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face as they age.
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The narrator is a distraction
- By Amazon Customer on 03-01-19
By: Mary Pipher
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Fair Play
- A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live)
- By: Eve Rodsky
- Narrated by: Eve Rodsky
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Fair Play is a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up chores and responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than 500 men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With four easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore from laundry to homework to dinner.
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For Coupled People
- By Brandy Patrick on 10-02-19
By: Eve Rodsky
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More or Less
- Choosing a Lifestyle of Excessive Generosity
- By: Jeff Shinabarger
- Narrated by: Kelly Ryan Dolan
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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What is enough? From cleaning out closets to avoiding the grocery store for weeks at a time, Jeff Shinabarger is on a journey to find out what is "enough" in every aspect of life. Follow his community as they ponder one question: What would happen if we created a culture in which we gave away whatever was more than enough for us? How would our habits change if we shed the excess of money, clutter, and food in our lives? In More or Less, Jeff invites us to create our own social experiments to answer the question "What is enough?"
By: Jeff Shinabarger
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How to Get Sh*t Done
- Why Women Need to Stop Doing Everything So They Can Achieve Anything
- By: Erin Falconer
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Finally, in the first productivity book by a woman in a decade, Erin Falconer will show you how to do less - a lot less. In fact, How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to offload, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest. In How to Get Sh*t Done she shows how even the most perfectionistic among us can tap in to our inner free spirit and learn to feel like badasses rather than drudges.
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Not What I Expected
- By Justin Jones on 02-05-18
By: Erin Falconer
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The Big Life
- Embrace the Mess, Work Your Side Hustle, Find a Monumental Relationship, and Become the Badass Babe You Were Meant to Be
- By: Ann Shoket
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Ann Shoket
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The Big Life is packed with actionable guidance combined with personal advice from high-profile millennial women who have already achieved tremendous success, plus intimate conversations with a cast of compelling characters and Shoket's own stories on her quest for The Big Life. You'll learn to tackle all of the issues on heavy rotation in your mind.
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Just OK
- By Alexandra Medina on 05-15-17
By: Ann Shoket
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Things No One Else Can Teach Us
- Turning Losses into Lessons
- By: Humble the Poet
- Narrated by: Humble the Poet
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- By jaga on 11-04-19
By: Humble the Poet
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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Happily Ever After
- The Life-Changing Power of a Grateful Heart
- By: Trista Sutter
- Narrated by: Trista Sutter
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether or not you remember Trista (Rehn) Sutter from her heartbreak on the first season of The Bachelor reality show or as the original Bachelorette, you’ve probably seen her on the cover of magazines like People and US Weekly or on shows like Ellen and Dancing with the Stars. She has rarely been out of the public eye since falling in love with Ryan Sutter on The Bachelorette more than ten years ago.
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Not what I was expecting
- By marcie on 01-09-17
By: Trista Sutter
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When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable
- How to Break the Pattern of People Pleasing and Confidently Live Your Life
- By: Karen Ehman, Lysa TerKeurst
- Narrated by: Karen Ehman
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable shares the refreshing, heartfelt lessons that Karen learned firsthand during her own journey of breaking free from people pleasing in order to live out her God-given purpose. Let Karen be your new go-to guide as you learn to successfully break the destructive pattern of people pleasing and start fully embracing the life God has called you to lead.
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Warning: Extremely Christian!
- By ~K*Sea~ on 02-26-22
By: Karen Ehman, and others
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Happier Now
- By: Nataly Kogan
- Narrated by: Nataly Kogan
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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What if you could be happier, right now, without radically changing your life? As nationally recognized happiness expert Nataly Kogan teaches, happiness is not a nice feeling or a frivolous extra. It’s a critical, non-negotiable ingredient for living a fulfilling, meaningful, and healthy life - and it's a skill that we can all learn and improve through practice. In Happier Now, Nataly shares an illuminating, inspiring, and science-based guide to help you build your happier skills and live with more joy, starting now.
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This book will turn your life around ... TODAY!
- By Joe Barnhill on 06-04-18
By: Nataly Kogan
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The Secrets of Happy Families
- Surprising New Ideas to Bring More Togetherness, Less Chaos, and Greater Joy
- By: Bruce Feiler
- Narrated by: Bruce Feiler
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Best-selling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family "experts", he sought out the most creative minds - from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets - and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families.
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Well worth reading, even if you can't do it all!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-13
By: Bruce Feiler
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A beautiful and brilliant wake up call to the richness we’re missing out on in life.
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In a world that's both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we’re often tempted to do life alone, whether because we’re so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. But science confirms that consistent, meaningful connection with others has a powerful impact on our well-being. We are meant to live known and loved. But so many are hiding behind emotional walls that we’re experiencing an epidemic of loneliness. In Find Your People, you’ll discover exactly how to dive into the deep end and experience the full wonder of community.
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Frientimacy
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
- By Emily on 10-21-17
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Platonic
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How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!).
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Too much and yet, not enough
- By Kali on 04-05-23
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Friendships Don't Just Happen!
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Every woman is searching for a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. Many realize the significant role that an intimate, tightly knit circle of friends plays in creating a more fulfilling life, but with hectic schedules, frequent moves, and life changes, it's more important than ever for women to establish natural, meaningful friendships. In Friendships Don't Just Happen!, Shasta Nelson, friendship expert and CEO of GirlFriendCircles.com, reveals the most important proven steps, processes, and secrets vital to establishing the five different levels of friendships.
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Hope to revise this review soon...
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Not what I was expecting - but I still enjoyed a lot of it
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We Should Get Together
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A beautiful and brilliant wake up call to the richness we’re missing out on in life.
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In Frientimacy, award-winning speaker Shasta Nelson shows how anyone can form stronger, more meaningful friendships, marked by a level of trust she calls "frientimacy". Shasta explores the most common complaints and conflicts facing female friendships today, and lays out strategies for overcoming these pitfalls to create deeper, supportive relationships that last for the long-term.
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I didn't finish it, but I still recommend it
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Platonic
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How do we make and keep friends in an era of distraction, burnout, and chaos, especially in a society that often prizes romantic love at the expense of other relationships? In Platonic, Dr. Marisa G. Franco unpacks the latest, often counterintuitive findings about the bonds between us—for example, why your friends aren’t texting you back (it’s not because they hate you!), and the myth of “friendships happening organically” (making friends, like cultivating any relationship, requires effort!).
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Too much and yet, not enough
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Hope to revise this review soon...
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The answer to most of our ills & pain
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In this “entertaining mix of social science, memoir, and humor, as if a Daniel Goleman book were filtered through the lens of Will Ferrell” (The New York Times Book Review) a middle-aged man embarks on an entertaining and relatable quest to reprioritize his ties with his buddies and forge new friendships, all while balancing work, marriage, and kids.
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Worth the listen.
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Through his popular podcast The Astral Hustle and online meditation course Release into Now, Cory Allen has helped thousands of people better cope with the stress of daily life through meditation, mindfulness, and mental clarity. With concise advice and profound simplicity, he manages to cut through the jargon and speak to people where they are, giving them the tools to live in "the wow of now." In this accessible and supportive guide, Allen walks listeners through the basics of mindfulness - not as something you should do, but as a tool to achieve greater peace of mind.
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Amazing
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Modern Friendship
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Modern friendships can be painfully ambiguous. But they don’t have to be. Journalist Anna Goldfarb has your back. “It’s understandable if your friendships are floundering. You’re up against historically new forces that we, as a culture, have no precedent for navigating,” she says. With Modern Friendship, Anna shares a manual for understanding what is pushing our friendships to the brink and provides actionable advice for forming authentic, enduring connections today.
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Wish there was a pdf included
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Friendship: It's Complicated
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Too often our friendships with other women can be marked by drama, competition, betrayal, and unforgiveness. As women, we can cause one another deep pain, creating wounds in need of healing. But we were made for connection and healthy friendships with other women to cheer each other on and fulfill our God-breathed purpose - together.
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Soooo Good!
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By: Andi Andrew
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The Quarter-Life Breakthrough
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- Narrated by: Adam Smiley Poswolsky
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Have you ever known that you needed to make a change but felt unable to do anything about it? Have you ever felt like you aren't where you are supposed to be and wondered how the people around you managed to find their purpose in life? After realizing that his well-paying, prestigious job was actually making him miserable, Adam "Smiley" Poswolsky started asking these big questions: How do you actually find meaning in the workplace? How do you find work that makes your heart sing?
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attacks conservative ideals and people throughout
- By Mark McClure on 01-13-18
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The Connection Cure
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Traditionally, when we get sick, health care professionals ask, “What’s the matter with you?” But around the world, teams of doctors, nurses, therapists, and social workers have started to flip the script, asking “What matters to you?” Instead of solely pharmaceutical prescriptions, they offer ‘social prescriptions’—referrals to community activities and resources, like photography classes, gardening groups, and volunteering gigs. The results speak for themselves.
By: Julia Hotz
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The Other Significant Others
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Why do we assume romantic relationships are more important than friendships? What do we lose when we expect a spouse to meet all our needs? And what can we learn about commitment, love, and family from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives? In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner—these are friends who are home co-owners, co-parents or each other’s caregivers.
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Best book I’ve read in a while, and I will definitely recommend it!
- By Destiny DiMattei on 02-24-24
By: Rhaina Cohen
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You Will Find Your People
- By: Lane Moore
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Like many people navigating adulthood, Lane Moore thought she would have friends by now. Movies, books, and TV shows tell us we should’ve already found our people by the time we’re adults, or there must be something wrong with us. But where do you find these close friends once you’ve left high school or college? Is it even possible? You Will Find Your People is the groundbreaking guide to making—and keeping—the friends we’ve all been desperately waiting for.
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Cringy
- By Rachel on 07-06-23
By: Lane Moore
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The Joy of Connections
- 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life
- By: Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, Allison Gilbert - contributor, Pierre Lehu - contributor
- Narrated by: Tovah Feldshuh, Allison Gilbert, Pierre Lehu
- Length: 3 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Surgeon General Vivek Murthy sounded the alarm that loneliness “represents an urgent public health concern”—exacerbated by social media overuse, the residual effects of the pandemic, and the lack of meaningful relationships—trusted therapist Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer knew that her unique perspective and expertise could help. Long beloved for breaking stigmas around sexual problems, Dr. Ruth made it her mission to help individuals break free from the bonds of hopelessness and isolation.
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Dr Ruth’s Goodbye message to the lonely
- By JustMe on 11-17-24
By: Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, and others
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The Art of Gathering
- How We Meet and Why It Matters
- By: Priya Parker
- Narrated by: Bernadette Dunne
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Every day, we find ourselves in gatherings, Priya Parker says in The Art of Gathering. If we can understand what makes these gatherings effective and memorable, then we can reframe and redirect them to benefit everyone, host and guest alike. Parker defines a gathering as three or more people who come together for a specific purpose. When we understand why we gather, she says - to acknowledge, to learn, to challenge, to change - we learn how to organize gatherings that are relevant and memorable.
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Would have liked a different narrator
- By Marta on 08-26-18
By: Priya Parker
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How to Know a Person
- The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
- By: David Brooks
- Narrated by: David Brooks
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
As David Brooks observes, “There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society: the ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen—to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard, and understood.” And yet we humans don’t do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. In How to Know a Person, Brooks sets out to help us do better, posing questions that are essential for all of us: If you want to know a person, what kind of attention should you cast on them?
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A book he was ready to write
- By Adam Shields on 11-17-23
By: David Brooks
What listeners say about Friendship in the Age of Loneliness
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Rebekah/James
- 07-31-21
This Gave Me Hope
Dear Author, Thank you for sharing your story and your perspective. I needed to hear a lot of this.
I've just moved to a new city with my husband with the pandemic still lingering. Making friends is hard right now especially for an introvert, and I often feel lonely without close friend connections. I found this book insightful and relatable and will definitely try the things you talked about, so thank you!
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- DeMario
- 07-29-24
Corporate feeling and unrelatable, generic advice
Despite the voice of the narrator, I tried to give it a read. Most of the advice given just feels generic, like the stuff you would look up in a Google search blog.
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