Finding Happiness Through Pain and Embarrassment
My Life with Behcet's Disease - A Memoir
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Finding Happiness Through Pain and Embarrassment
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Narrated by:
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Ellis Michaels
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By:
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Ellis Michaels
About this listen
Can you imagine going to bed every night knowing you might wake up blind, deaf, paralyzed, or worse - not at all?
Ellis Michaels doesn't have to imagine it. He's been living it for decades. And so have thousands of others diagnosed with Behcet's disease.
Like Crohn's, Lupus, fibromialgia, chronic fatigue syndrome, MS, and dozens of other illnesses, Behcet's is an autoimmune disease. Though each is unique, they all cause the body to attack itself. And Ellis' body has been kicking the crap out of him for decades. Here are just a few of the horrible symptoms he's experienced:
- Massive blood clots (DVTs) in both legs
- A clot in his inferior vena cava (vein going to the heart)
- Deep, open ulcers in his mouth
- Quarter-sized open sores on his...on the last place a guy would want them
- Severe eye inflammation leading to blindness that literally happened overnight
- Golf-ball-sized cysts on his face, neck, and ears
And that was all before Ellis had even turned 18.
Living with Behcet's disease (sometimes called Behcet's syndrome) can be an everyday struggle filled with pain and suffering. And while Ellis' journey has been a bumpy one to say the least, filled with depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and at times utter despair, he's managed to live an awesome life in spite of his diagnosis. By learning to see the silver linings of his illness, by focusing on the positives instead of the negatives, Ellis transformed his mind, his body, and his entire life. This is the story of how Ellis Michaels managed to find happiness through the pain and embarrassment of living with Behcet's disease.
This memoir contains language and subject matter that might not be suitable for sensitive readers including drug use, mental illness, sex, and suicide. If you find these topics or occasional profanity distasteful, this book won't be your cup of tea. But Behcet's is a distasteful disease and can't be discussed in an open and honest manner without including these things.
©2020 Ellis Michaels (P)2021 Ellis MichaelsListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 70
Adam Stern was a student at a state medical school before being selected to train as a psychiatry resident at one of the most prestigious programs in the country. His new and initially intimidating classmates were high achievers from the Ivy League and other elite universities. Faculty raved about the group as though the residency program had won the lottery, nicknaming them “The Golden Class”, but would Stern ever prove that he belonged? In his memoir, Stern pulls back the curtain on the intense and emotionally challenging lessons he and his fellow doctors learned.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thank you for reminding me,
- By Ms D on 12-29-21
By: Adam Stern MD
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Pain Killer
- A Memoir of Big League Addiction
- By: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg - foreword
- Narrated by: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Story5 out of 5 stars 67
Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I love hockey.
- By Brew2go on 06-14-21
By: Brantt Myhres, and others
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Danger to Self
- On the Front Line with an ER Psychiatrist
- By: Paul R. Linde
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 142
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 123
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Story4 out of 5 stars 125
The psychiatric emergency room, a fast-paced combat zone with pressure to match, thrusts its medical providers into the outland of human experience where they must respond rapidly and decisively in spite of uncertainty and, very often, danger. In this lively first-person narrative, Paul R. Linde takes listeners behind the scenes at an urban psychiatric emergency room, with all its chaos and pathos, where we witness mental health professionals doing their best to alleviate suffering.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Terrible narration
- By Leah on 12-16-12
By: Paul R. Linde
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He Came in with It
- A Portrait of Motherhood and Madness
- By: Miriam Feldman
- Narrated by: Ann Richardson
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 63
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens off the conventional course. Like the 10 Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another: violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning - even cancer and a brain tumor - play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So Beautifully Written
- By Michael on 08-01-22
By: Miriam Feldman
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Little Matches
- A Memoir of Finding Light in the Dark
- By: Maryanne O'Hara
- Narrated by: Maryanne O'Hara
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story5 out of 5 stars 34
When their only child was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF) at the age of two, Maryanne O'Hara and her husband were told that Caitlin could live a long life or be dead in a matter of months. Thirty-one years later, Caitlin lost her battle with this devastating disease following an excruciating two-year wait on the transplant list and a last-minute race to locate a pair of healthy lungs. The sudden spiral of events left Maryanne in an existential crisis, searching to find an answer to the eternal question: Why we are here?
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5 out of 5 stars
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I don't know who needs to read it...
- By H. Hill on 04-18-23
By: Maryanne O'Hara
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Weekends at Bellevue
- By: Julie Holland MD
- Narrated by: Julie Holland MD
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 325
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 258
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 258
His name was Joshua Silver. He was 23 years old, educated, and had an impressive vocabulary. The NYPD had found Joshua Silver naked in Times Square, barking like a dog. It was just another night for Julie Holland, the attending doctor in the world famous Bellevue Hospital's psychiatric emergency room.
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3 out of 5 stars
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An Uneven Memoir
- By A. M. Dalessandro on 09-24-10
By: Julie Holland MD
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 1,737
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,536
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,528
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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How to Get Run Over by a Truck
- A Memoir
- By: Katie McKenna
- Narrated by: Katie McKenna
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,500
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,385
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,384
People often say, "I feel like I've been run over by a truck." Katie actually was. On a sunny morning bike ride in Brooklyn, 24-year-old Katie McKenna was forever changed when she was run over by an 18-wheeler. Being crushed under a massive semi wasn't something Katie should have survived. After 10 hours of emergency surgery, she woke to find herself in a body and a life that would never be the same.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny and an amazing story.
- By T. Thompson on 12-16-16
By: Katie McKenna
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Permanent Midnight
- A Memoir (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Jerry Stahl, Nic Sheff - foreword
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl, Scott Merriman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 81
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 79
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 78
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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The Center Cannot Hold
- By: Elyn R. Saks
- Narrated by: Alma Cuervo
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,481
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,184
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Story5 out of 5 stars 1,190
Professor of psychiatry Elyn R. Saks writes about her struggle with schizophrenia in this unflinching account of her mental illness. In The Center Cannot Hold, Saks draws readers into a nightmare world of medications, a misguided health-care system, and social stigmas. But she would not be defeated. With a strength and force of will that most can only imagine, Saks reclaimed her life and went on to achieve great success.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Schizophrenia Inside Out
- By Pamela Harvey on 07-23-09
By: Elyn R. Saks
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,212
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,082
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,083
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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3 out of 5 stars
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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Confessions of a GP
- By: Benjamin Daniels
- Narrated by: Eamonn Riley
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 49
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Story4 out of 5 stars 34
Benjamin Daniels is angry. He is frustrated, confused, baffled and, quite frequently, very funny. He is also a GP. These are his confessions.A woman troubled by pornographic dreams about Tom Jones. An 80-year-old man who can't remember why he's come to see the doctor.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very enjoyable
- By PCF on 05-27-17
By: Benjamin Daniels
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The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head
- A Psychiatrist's Stories of His Most Bizarre Cases
- By: Gary Small M.D., Gigi Vorgan
- Narrated by: Marc Cashman
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 134
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 102
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 102
True stories are more bizarre than any fiction, and Dr. Gary Small knows this best. After 30 distinguished years of psychiatry and groundbreaking research on the human brain, Dr. Small has seen it all - now he is ready to open his office doors for the first time and tell all about the most mysterious, intriguing, and bizarre patients of his career. The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head is a spellbinding record of the doctor's most bewildering cases.
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1 out of 5 stars
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90% Useless Information
- By Think B4 Eating on 10-01-10
By: Gary Small M.D., and others
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The Last Post
- By: Renée Carlino
- Narrated by: Avery Caris, Stephen Dexter
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 47
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4 out of 5 stars 42
Laya Marston’s husband, Cameron, a daredevil enthusiast, was the complete opposite of her, ready and willing to dive off a cliff-face or parachute across a canyon - and Laya loved him for it. But she was different: pragmatic, regimented, devoted to her career and to supporting Cameron from the sidelines of his death-defying feats. Opposites attract, right? But when Cameron dies tragically, Laya becomes lost in denial, living in the delusion that Cameron will come back to her.
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3 out of 5 stars
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I really wanted to like this
- By Amazon Customer on 12-21-21
By: Renée Carlino
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Phantom Limb
- A Gripping Psychological Thriller
- By: Lucinda Berry
- Narrated by: Kate Marcin
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 413
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 365
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Story4 out of 5 stars 365
Emily and Elizabeth spent their childhood locked in a bedroom and terrorized by a mother who drank too much and disappeared for days. The identical twins were rescued by a family determined to be their saviors. But there are some horrors love can’t erase....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not a fan of the ending.....
- By Dr. loLafolana on 08-10-20
By: Lucinda Berry
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Before I Had the Words
- On Being a Transgender Young Adult
- By: Skylar Kergil
- Narrated by: Skylar Kergil
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 104
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 94
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 94
At the beginning of his physical transition from female to male, then-17-year-old Skylar Kergil posted his first video on YouTube. In the months and years that followed, he recorded weekly update videos about the physical and emotional changes he experienced. Skylar’s openness and positivity attracted thousands of viewers, who followed along as his voice deepened and his body changed shape. Through surgeries and recovery, highs and lows, from high school to college to the real world, Skylar welcomed others on his journey.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So grateful to help me as grandma
- By Lisa Bridges on 11-11-20
By: Skylar Kergil
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
- And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
- By: Tara Schuster
- Narrated by: Tara Schuster
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,635
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,394
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,389
By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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1 out of 5 stars
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster