He Came in with It

A Portrait of Motherhood and Madness

By: Miriam Feldman

Narrated by: Ann Richardson

In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations of families enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens permanently off the conventional course.

Like the 10 Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another: violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning - even cancer and a brain tumor - play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal of artmaking and drugs. With no time for hand-wringing, Miriam advances, convinced she can fix everything, while a devastated Craig retreats to their property in rural Washington State as home becomes a battlefield.

It is while cleaning out a closet that Miriam discovers a cache of drawings and journals written by Nick throughout his spiral into schizophrenia. She begins a solitary forensic journey into the lonely labyrinth of his mind.

This is the story of how mental illness unspools an entire family. As Miriam fights to reclaim her son from the ruthless, invisible enemy, we are given an unflinching view into a world few could imagine. It exposes the shocking shortfalls of our mental-health system, the destructive impact of stigma, shame, and isolation, and, finally, the falsity of the notion of a perfect family. Throughout the book, it is the family’s ability to find humor in the absurdities of this life that saves them.

©2020 Miriam Feldman (P)2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC

Well written, honest, flawed

This book did a good job relating the chaos and suffering endured when mental illness strikes. The story is heartbreaking, and anyone who knows someone with a mental illness will relate. However, the constant justification and backtracking were difficult to put into perspective. I don't presume to understand the position of the parents, but there seemed to be a lot of "lines in the sand" that were sometimes held fast, and other times, adjusted. I don't have all the answers, and I'm sure it's easier to be critical when it's not my son, but at some point, you have to let go of what was, and accept the reality of what's in front of you. There's just no happy ending with a story like this one.

Parallel lives

I deeply appreciate her high quality, raw and honest writing. As a mother who is living with and experiencing a very similar journey with my own son, I devoured this and was so comforted to know I am not alone….WE are not alone in this tragedy- and we can move on to tell our stories. Stigma free!

Thank you for sharing your story!

I heard about your book on Mary Rogers’ podcast and so glad I got it. You are funny and strong and make me feel not alone.

Lovely, yet so hard

You certainly show to what extremes a mom will go to in order to care for her child. Thank you for sharing your story, as it’s helpful for others dealing with the same illness, similar lack of health care and ignorance of so many. I could not have read this at the onset of my daughter’s illness, but we are a few years in, and she is stable and well. I think your book would be an excellent book club book for those who do not know much about serious mental illness.

Compelling

Couldn’t put it down. I would hope that it be widely read so that more people, especially teachers, understand what schizophrenia is like.

psychology

I learned more about parenting strategies for raising a mentally ill child and the parents struggles.

So, we are not alone.

Thank you for your story. It’s awfully lonely out here. Our system is so very broken.

Beautiful account of a mother's painful journey

I was struck by the honesty of the author's struggle to understand and accept her son's mental illness. It's so difficult to let go of what we envision our kids' lives will be, and so much more so when they are lost to us. I think Feldman captured the devastation, panic, exhaustion, all of it, so movingly. In her case, additional trauma pushed her to the breaking point. Still, there is humor and self-deprecation in her account. Just a very successful effort.

So Beautifully Written

Miriam! Wow! You had me on the verge of tears that always ended in laughter or smile and curiosity for more. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

life changing story

This book was captivating from start to finish. The way that the author told her story was so real it was as if I was there experiencing it myself. My view on how I see others has definitely changed because I was reminded that you cant truly know what someone's going through just by seeing them on the surface. This story brings mental health into the spotlight and should be read by everyone.