He Came in with It

A Portrait of Motherhood and Madness

By: Miriam Feldman

Narrated by: Ann Richardson

Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins

Publisher's summary

In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations of families enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens permanently off the conventional course.

Like the 10 Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another: violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning - even cancer and a brain tumor - play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal of artmaking and drugs. With no time for hand-wringing, Miriam advances, convinced she can fix everything, while a devastated Craig retreats to their property in rural Washington State as home becomes a battlefield.

It is while cleaning out a closet that Miriam discovers a cache of drawings and journals written by Nick throughout his spiral into schizophrenia. She begins a solitary forensic journey into the lonely labyrinth of his mind.

This is the story of how mental illness unspools an entire family. As Miriam fights to reclaim her son from the ruthless, invisible enemy, we are given an unflinching view into a world few could imagine. It exposes the shocking shortfalls of our mental-health system, the destructive impact of stigma, shame, and isolation, and, finally, the falsity of the notion of a perfect family. Throughout the book, it is the family’s ability to find humor in the absurdities of this life that saves them.

©2020 Miriam Feldman (P)2020 Dreamscape Media, LLC

psychology

I learned more about parenting strategies for raising a mentally ill child and the parents struggles.

Parallel lives

I deeply appreciate her high quality, raw and honest writing. As a mother who is living with and experiencing a very similar journey with my own son, I devoured this and was so comforted to know I am not alone….WE are not alone in this tragedy- and we can move on to tell our stories. Stigma free!

Thank you for sharing your story!

I heard about your book on Mary Rogers’ podcast and so glad I got it. You are funny and strong and make me feel not alone.

Beautiful account of a mother's painful journey

I was struck by the honesty of the author's struggle to understand and accept her son's mental illness. It's so difficult to let go of what we envision our kids' lives will be, and so much more so when they are lost to us. I think Feldman captured the devastation, panic, exhaustion, all of it, so movingly. In her case, additional trauma pushed her to the breaking point. Still, there is humor and self-deprecation in her account. Just a very successful effort.

So Beautifully Written

Miriam! Wow! You had me on the verge of tears that always ended in laughter or smile and curiosity for more. Thanks for sharing your experiences!

Compelling

Couldn’t put it down. I would hope that it be widely read so that more people, especially teachers, understand what schizophrenia is like.

Lovely, yet so hard

You certainly show to what extremes a mom will go to in order to care for her child. Thank you for sharing your story, as it’s helpful for others dealing with the same illness, similar lack of health care and ignorance of so many. I could not have read this at the onset of my daughter’s illness, but we are a few years in, and she is stable and well. I think your book would be an excellent book club book for those who do not know much about serious mental illness.

life changing story

This book was captivating from start to finish. The way that the author told her story was so real it was as if I was there experiencing it myself. My view on how I see others has definitely changed because I was reminded that you cant truly know what someone's going through just by seeing them on the surface. This story brings mental health into the spotlight and should be read by everyone.

An aching glimpse into parenting a child with mental illness

I thought this was a very good book and I’m happy that it helps bring awareness to mental illness. I felt that this was more a story of a mother’s sense of loss and frustration at having a son with schizophrenia, than it was about actually having schizophrenia. On that note, I can completely empathize and I feel we need to hear more stories from mothers who have similar experiences. It’s a sad and lonely place to be when you feel that you’ve missed something or done something or not done enough when you have a child with a mental illness (which is an estimated twenty percent of children). Mothers are so proud to share their children’s accomplishments, yet deeply ashamed too admit they may have problems. Thank you Míriam for sharing your experience and I wish you, your family and Nick well.

Heartstring beware

This is a stunning piece of writing from a most incredible human. The story is beautifully written. Raw, honest, touching with a hint of her humor tucked in between. It’s the uncovered truth behind this severe mental illness that we need to see in order to better understand. You can’t help but fall in love with her and her entire family in the process.