BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly
Shopocalypse Saga, Book 5
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BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly
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Narrated by:
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Wayne Mitchell
About this listen
When the universe defaults on its existential loans, who better to foreclose the apocalypse than the Windowpuncher, Tyson Dawes?
Dearth Conglomerate is plummeting in market value, and Kraken is no more. But not all threats have been extinguished. Thanks to the rising threat of the Sleem, the whole multiverse is in danger. Desperate for a cosmic bailout, the Church calls for a financial crusade. Meanwhile, Molls and her family fall into a whole mess of market shock and face futures unknown.
With Storage under threat of hostile foreclosure, the universe faced with Sleem saturation, and Silken Sands spread thinly over too many areas of opportunity, has BuyMort found its final market victor?
From the elastic supply of the Church's Inquisition auditing Silken Sands to a climactic battle with ROI (that's Return on Incineration, by the way) so low it crashes all markets, this is one fiscal year you won't want to miss.
Get ready for a hostile takeover of epic proportions. In BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem, the end isn't nigh—it's been leveraged, securitized, and is ready to liquidate. Say your prayers and check your credit score because when the celestial ledger closes, you'll want to make sure your cosmic assets are diversified.
©2023 Joseph Phelps, Damien Hanson (P)2024 Podium AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Get ready to Laugh
- By Lasheree McFarlane on 11-08-24
By: Chris Bruno, and others
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 215,151
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 194,640
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 193,671
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 912
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 882
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 882
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
-
SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 18,948
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16,937
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 16,912
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 279
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 273
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 273
Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
-
I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,000
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 50,447
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 50,191
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
-
The Perfect Find
- By: Tia Williams
- Narrated by: Wesleigh Siobhan
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,590
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,466
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,463
Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!
- By Bernadette on 05-30-21
By: Tia Williams
-
American Psycho
- By: Bret Easton Ellis
- Narrated by: Pablo Schreiber
- Length: 16 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 5,259
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,662
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 4,670
Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
-
CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 144
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 141
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 141
He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
-
Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,309
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,889
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 3,880
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,427
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,879
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 15,813
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,188
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,054
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,050
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Victor can’t wait to get the hell out of high school, go to the local community college on a sports scholarship, and start his own life. But that’s all put on hold when he enters his abuela’s house and somehow ends up stepping into a world unlike anything he’s ever known, filled with fantastical meta-humans; walking, talking devils; and other creatures one usually needs some serious pharmaceuticals to see. Fanwath is no dream, though. In fact, it’s a nightmare.
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Rob didn't think of himself as anyone special, but when a pitch-black portal tried to wrap his best friend in chains, he stepped up without thinking and found himself ensnared instead. His moment of heroism results in being torn away from everyone he knew and loved, kidnapped by an unknown force that leaves him with a note in his pocket stating: "Good luck." After being thrown into the wilderness of Elatra, a hostile fantasy world ruled by levels, stats, progression, and bizarre video game logic, he finds himself entirely out of his depth.
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1 out of 5 stars
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if blood is your drug then everyone's a juice box
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1 out of 5 stars
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Zane was driving home from work when the world changed. Thousands of dungeons spawned at once, taking up every inch of Earth—including the road he’s driving on. He wakes up to a totaled car and a broken leg, facing down a goblin trying to spear him through the guts. And that's just the start of it. But to Zane’s surprise, he finds himself enjoying this brutal new world. While others cower and hide, he goes on the hunt. He unlocks a unique Berserker skill—the more damage he takes, the stronger he gets.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very well done!
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It was a day like any other when suddenly the world changed. The universe reached a threshold humanity didn’t even know existed, and it was time to finally be integrated into the vast multiverse. A place where power is the only thing anyone can truly rely on.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A fun and interesting read!
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Shadeslinger
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Corporate flameout Ned Altimer dreams of leaving his world behind. So, when Earthblood Online splashes onto the VRMMO scene, he dives in and never looks back. His advantages are twofold: exclusive access to the game’s three-day Head Start period, and a ridiculously handsome talking axe named Frank who has knowledge of the game’s deepest secrets...if the magnificent Frank ever feels like sharing them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great new author! Looking forward to the next book
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One More Last Time
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He thought it was the end, and his gun sat ready to make sure. But an oddball offer from his last friend comes at the literal last second. Curiosity gets the best of him, and he finds himself sucked into iNcarn8, a game claiming to be a whole new life. Now, as Montana, the larger-than-life tank warrior, he has one more last time to get his life right.
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5 out of 5 stars
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ignore the short read time
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All the Dust That Falls
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Spot was summoned from his comfortable charging pad and familiar floors to a world of magic and intrigue. But after the flight of his new patrons, he is left alone to care for a filthy castle. During his quest to keep this new home clean, Spot will face demons, foreign armies, and his arch nemesis, the dreaded stairs. All those who stand before him will be swept away. Those who follow his spotless trail will find enlightenment, purity, and a world on its knees.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A rare 5 star from me. looking forward to the next
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ShipCore
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Waking up adrift in an ancient battleground, Alex is left dazed and confused with no clue how she ended up trapped aboard a failing vessel. With only a mysterious voice in her head to guide her she must act in order to survive. Every piece of the puzzle she collects only leads to more questions about her origins and the star she's trapped around might not be as deserted as she first thought. All she knows for sure is that she could die at any minute, but Alex is not going to go down without a fight.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun AI sci-fi
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By: Erios909
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Enter System
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 698
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 697
Marc's home from college on break, spending his time laughing about some of the crazy news stories he's found online, and gaming. When a message appears in his line of sight, blocking out absolutely everything else, he nearly freaks out. The message warns that the world has been in a variant Natural Laws beta test for millennia and that it's about to revert to the norms.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Awkward. Painful. A choir.
- By Joseph on 02-10-22
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Amelia the Level Zero Hero: A LitRPG Adventure
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Ten years ago, Amelia woke up alone and lost in a broken world where she had to fight for her survival. Now, after reaching the pinnacle of power, defeating the Void itself, and escaping the abyss, she has finally found her way back into the real world. But instead of returning to Earth, she arrives in the land of Vacuos. A fantasy world with magic, monsters, Classes, and Levels. A world that is governed by a System like it were a video game.
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3 out of 5 stars
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be honest with reviews
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Jake's Magical Market
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Jake is working at the neighborhood market under his apartment when the world ends. He expected nuclear war, a computer virus, or even climate change burning everyone to a crisp to bring about the downfall of civilization. But cruel and arbitrary gods from another world? Who would have guessed that? When these cruel gods shuffled Earth like a deck of cards, nothing was in the same place anymore. Monsters, dungeons, and magical items appear scattered across the globe. And suddenly, everyone has access to a new, strange magical card system that gives them magical powers.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Lots of 5 star reviews
- By Noah M on 01-09-22
By: J.R. Mathews
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Dungeon Life: An Isekai LitRPG
- Dungeon Life, Book 1
- By: Khenal
- Narrated by: Michael Gallagher
- Length: 14 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 758
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 667
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 667
The usual result of a human taking a runaway semitruck head-on is a very sudden, very fast track to the pearly gates. But for one newly noncorporeal man, there's another option: become a dungeon. Feeling sorry for the desperate angel assigned to him, the man relents. Heck, if it doesn't work out, he can always chat with Saint Peter about it later. Next thing you know, he's a dungeon. Admittedly, a small run-down, somewhat unimpressive dungeon (more of a house, actually), but you gotta start somewhere, right?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Freakin awesome
- By John Andrew Hartley Nichols on 03-13-24
By: Khenal
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Heretical Fishing: A Cozy Guide to Annoying the Cults, Outsmarting the Fish, and Alienating Oneself
- Heretical Fishing, Book 1
- By: Haylock Jobson
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 23 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,692
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,468
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,467
When summoned to a fantastical world and granted powers by a broken System, most freshly minted protagonists would strap on their big-boy boots and get ready for their stats to start climbing. But Fischer isn't like most MCs. In fact, he doesn't want to be a hero at all. Fame? Fortune? Power? He had enough of all that in his old life. Discovering forbidden fishing techniques and petting every cute animal that comes within scritching distance? Now that's a good time.
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2 out of 5 stars
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The Plot Armor is Unreal
- By Warren on 03-18-24
By: Haylock Jobson
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Beware of Chicken: A Xianxia Cultivation Novel
- Book 1
- By: Casualfarmer
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 6,430
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 5,625
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Story5 out of 5 stars 5,614
Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun
- By Julie on 05-26-22
By: Casualfarmer
What listeners say about BuyMort: Bull Market Mayhem: How I Cornered the Multiversal Monopoly
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mark Metz
- 08-11-24
lots of action, character development, andvworld building.
the rise of a homeless trailer park caretaker in late stage capitalism on a multiversal scale.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 04-11-24
Another solid entry into the series
this has quickly become one of my favorite series. Seeing all the characters grow from how they initially struggled is great. I'm a bit concerned about where the MC will go from here but if handled right I think we're in for some very compelling story telling to watch him struggle with he has become and what he's doing should be neat
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Benjamin R. Murphy
- 05-24-24
its good
narrator does a good job. the story is pretty entertaining also. waiting for the next one.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Kyle y.
- 08-02-24
I love the concept and narration
I’m not to good at this but I love this entire series well narrated and sucked me in every time
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Dana B Bradley
- 04-12-24
Amazing
Such a great addition to the series, Garfield reference is hilarious… I cannot wait for the next one
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 04-19-24
Buy More
This series keeps getting better. Can’t wait for the next installment of the great series.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- jennifer
- 04-29-24
amazing butt kicking goodness.
From book number one to book number five it has been nonstop butt kicking action. Every time I think it can't get more action packed it does.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Crystal Hayden
- 04-16-24
Non-stop action
Absolutely awesome!!! I love the whole shopocalypse. Wayne Mitchell beings the characters to life as the should be. Especially the warlord. I can't wait to see how Tyson brings down the church. I would highly recommend this whole series.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Wesley Sramek
- 05-25-24
So good, engaging
So so very worth the credit! 15 word minimum get me out of here. Seriously more words?
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- steven sobon
- 10-15-24
I can’t get enough!
Man I love this series! Don’t wait, spend your morties now on an excellent audio book.
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