Bearing the Unbearable

Love, Loss, and the Heartbreaking Path of Grief

By: Joanne Cacciatore

Narrated by: Joanne Cacciatore

If you love, you will grieve—and nothing is more mysteriously central to becoming fully human.

A 2017 Indies Finalist from Foreword Reviews.

When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable—especially in the case of a traumatizing death that leaves us shouting, “NO!” with every fiber of our body. The process of grieving can feel wild and nonlinear—and often lasts for much longer than other people, the nonbereaved, tell us it should.

Organized into fifty-two short chapters, Bearing the Unbearable is a companion for life’s most difficult times, revealing how grief can open our hearts to connection, compassion, and the very essence of our shared humanity. Dr. Joanne Cacciatore—bereavement educator, researcher, Zen priest, and leading counselor in the field—accompanies us along the heartbreaking path of love, loss, and grief. Through moving stories of her encounters with grief over decades of supporting individuals, families, and communities—as well as her own experience with loss—Cacciatore opens a space to process, integrate, and deeply honor our grief.

Not just for the bereaved, Bearing the Unbearable will be required listening for grief counselors, therapists and social workers, clergy of all varieties, educators, academics, and medical professionals. Organized into fifty-two accessible and stand-alone chapters, this book is also perfect for being listened to in support groups.

©2017 Joanne Cacciatore (P)2023 Joanne Cacciatore

Best book on grief I’ve read.

This is the best book I’ve read in grief. It helped me understand how normal my feelings are and that I don’t have to be so afraid of facing my grief.

Being with grief

The book, Bearing the Unbearable, might seem to be a counter-intuitive approach to grief given what our "be happy" culture tells us about how to handle grief. While the world is telling us to get better, feel better and move on, it is, rather, through approaching and embracing grief that it helps us transform. Through the many grief stories from bereaved parents, siblings, spouses and children who have lost parents, Dr. Cacciatore demonstrates the power and value in giving space to remembering and honoring our deceased loved ones. I highly recommend this book.

- a bereaved Mom (K's Mom)

Grieving is a rebellious act

This is the best grief resource I’ve found so far. The author’s points of view were just what I needed to hear, and what I think our grief-fearing society, collectively, needs to hear. Her writing is absolutely relevant to anyone who has lost someone they love (I lost my only and younger sibling 1 month ago) but I also found it applicable to all of the grief we experience in our daily lives. I highly recommend this book to everyone.

wow wow wow

I am so blown away by this book. it took me awhile to finally choose my next book on grief because some of the ones out there just honestly aren't that great. But this one, this one?

I'll be listening to this over and over and over again I believe.

Joanne's words have been so comforting and supportive to me and empowering me on my grief journey.

I too enjoy helping people as a life coach + am so inspired to be as knowledgeable as Joanne one day in the world of grief and helping my clients as well.

Even Joanne's personality sounds a lot like mine, caring for animals, veganism, and crying at the Injustice of the maltreatment of humans and animals around the globe.

I loved this book. there are actual tools to take away, and beautiful stories to hold in my heart for the rest of my life. Thank you so much Joanne! I hope to meet you one day. holding your heart as I hold mine 🫶🤟🙏✨

🫶Brittany

Beautifully helpful

Sincerely loved listening to Dr. Jo tell the stories, helping all of us that are walking this path of grief and I’m sure even those that haven’t experienced it.

For ALL grieving! Especially traumatic grief!

I lost my childhood & adulthood by every abuse you can think of & many you can't, I lost my only child (1996), I cared for & watched my only grandma die (1999), I lost my only sibling to suicide (2001) then my parents 1 week later for 15 years for reasons I do not know (I wrote them all that time to only receive deafening silence, but always told rhem I loved them & my door was always open...they came back into my life in 2016 when I was all they had left as 1 already had started w/early dementia & both would then get different dementias), I lost my health & due to an injury & lifetime of abuse became 100% physically & emotionally disabled w/chronic pain, Fybromyalgia, Complex-PTSD, Severe Depression, ADD, Osteoarthritis, & more in 1998, I lost my 1st Shih Tzu after 16 long sweet years that kept me alive after I lost my ENTIRE family in 2 short yrs,, & in 2021 I lost my OH SO precious 2nd Shih Tzu care dog who was killed VICIOUSLY by 4 HUGE dogs (her alone & afraid in what was to be her safe back yard when a backyard young boy opened the gate between our properies & their dogs (a Rottweiler, 2 German Shephards & a Doberman) killed her horrifically (she had PTSD & was my shadow & my joy...I still can't pet a dog over 2 yrs later, she was my joy), I lost many in my husband of 21 yrs family due to them not understanding why one 100% disabled me caring for 8 long, horrible, grief-stricken years of ambiguous, anticipatory, & complicated longterm grief for BOTH of my parents as I loved & watched them BOTH die slowly together from 2 different dementias & I had no time nor energy for anything or anyone else but my sweet husband, whom they ignored, I lost a dear granddaughter of my husband's whom I'd loved for 20 years when she was taught to hate whites in CA (tho' I'd been married to a Spanish/Mexican family for 20 years & loved all races) & committed HORRIFIC hate crimes against me, down to wishing me DEAD (as I was still caring for my end-stage parents suffering w/dementias & we were giving her a free place to live temporarily), & this past yr (2023-24) I watched BOTH of my parents die HORRIBLY! It has not been 3 months yet & I can barely function. I am alone in my grief-I have no children & no siblings, no family of my own! Some people sent flowers, yet no one came to hold me, except my husband. I have cried almost daily for 8 years! TWO DAYS before my last parent, my mother (the HARDEST death of ALL), the husband of another of my husband's granddaughters, shamed me for caring for my "f*cked up parents." (10 months after my dad had died as I was watching my precious mother dying horribly!) They were to be my caregivers someday & my PoA's. Now I will die ALONE, as they are being removed from EVERYTHING, as I cannot have people like that caring for me. Worst of all, I am married to the love of my life & he is older than me & 83 & mom died @ 87! I fear his death will kill me! Worst of all, I have lost ALL faith in humanity, whom I have tried my best to ALWAYS love & encourage, but now want NOTHING to do with! I just will love my sweet husband & then I will be gone! This book should be read ESPECIALLY by the YOUNGER GENERATION of today who do not seem to understand DEEP GRIEVING as they have been spoiled mostly as children (at least those we know) nor how to love us who are "past suicide" (from this book). A must for all humanity!

Grieving Mother

This is the first grief book out of the many, many dozens I've read in the three years since my adult son died that I did not rip to shreds (metaphorically speaking) in a rage.

thank you

A must read!!!

I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this book.
She hit on so many points that I absolutely could relate to.
Totally enjoyed this book.

Good but Limited

I liked it enough. The author narration was good. Most of the examples were of child bereavement.