All the F*cks I Cannot Give
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Narrated by:
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Mike Dawson
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By:
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Michael Carlon
About this listen
Kelly Carson is one of those Clark Kent-like guys who just can't stand up for himself. His wife doesn't love him, his boss doesn't respect him, and his father refers to Kelly's twin sister as the son he always wanted. With three weeks to go before Christmas, Kelly receives the shock of his life when he's fired over the telephone while waiting to catch a flight.
Terri Flynn, a free-spirited starlet who is running away to New York after walking off the set of her latest feature film, overhears Kelly's unceremonious firing and becomes hell-bent on transforming him from the Clark Kent he is into the Superman the impulsive actress feels he's destined to become.
After their flight to New York is cancelled, Kelly and Terri take a last-minute jaunt to Hawaii, putting in motion a series of hilarious events and misadventures that will have you belly laughing throughout.
From the beaches of Maui to the concrete jungle of New York and the underground swinger scene of suburban Chicago, Michael Carlon's fifth novel, All the F*cks I Cannot Give, will have wishing you were in Kelly Carson's shoes for just one day.
©2017 Michael Carlon (P)2018 Michael CarlonListeners also enjoyed...
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- Length: 11 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Ella Warren loves her job working for celebrity news magazine The Life as an undercover reporter. Her evenings are spent using her alias to discreetly attend red carpet events, nightclubs, and Hollywood hotspots like the fabulous Chateau Marmont, where her eyes are always peeled for the next big celebrity story. When Ella's new Devil Wears Prada-type boss starts a not-so-friendly competition among the reporters to find an exclusive story or be fired, the stakes are higher than ever.
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Hollywood Glitz and Gossip
- By RueRue on 07-03-17
By: Abby Stern
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All You Could Ask For
- A Novel
- By: Mike Greenberg
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Happily married Brooke discovers her loving husband has led a separate life with…another wife. Newlywed Samantha learns of her husband's cheating heart when she finds the goods on his computer. High-powered career woman Katherine works with heartbreaker Phillip, the man who hurt her early on in her career. Brooke, Samantha, and Katherine don't know one another, but their stories are about to intertwine in ways no one could have imagined. And all three are about to discover the power of friendship to conquer adversity.
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Annoyed by Hidden Theme
- By parsnip on 08-12-13
By: Mike Greenberg
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Skinnydipping
- A Novel
- By: Bethenny Frankel
- Narrated by: January LaVoy
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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This outrageously entertaining and bawdy roman à clef from reality TV star Bethenny Frankel follows a business-savvy, would-be actress in hot pursuit of the perfect man, the perfect job, and the perfect body. Burning through men like she burns through calories, our sexy, loud-mouthed heroine grasps at any opportunity that might take her to the top. Listeners will jump at the chance to hear about the thrilling highs and cringe-worthy lows of Bethenny’s first shaky steps into adulthood, told here in a fictional format.
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An amusing story that may have already been told
- By Kimjnwa on 05-11-12
By: Bethenny Frankel
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Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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The Road Home
- By: Ford Michael Thomas Ford
- Narrated by: Blake Somerset
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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When a car accident leaves photographer Burke Crenshaw in need of temporary full-time care, he finds himself back in the one place no forty-year-old chooses to be--his childhood bedroom. There, in the Vermont home where he grew up, Burke begins the long process of recuperation, and watches as his widowed father finds happiness in a new relationship that's a constant reminder of everything Burke wants and lacks. Exploring local history, Burke discovers an intriguing series of letters from a Civil War soldier to his fianc.
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No need to check your scepticism at the door!
- By Orlando on 08-23-13
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Chances, Part 1
- Gino's Story
- By: Jackie Collins
- Narrated by: Jackie Collins
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Abridged
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He started with nothing, and built an empire. She was born to bad times - and lived through much worse. Orphans and outlaws alike, Gino Santangelo and Carrie Jones were survivors in a harsh, loveless world....a passionate young Italian and an exotic dark beauty whose chance meeting yields a secret that can't be spoken for years to come.
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Abridged version doesn't do series justice
- By Nancy J. Hyde on 01-10-09
By: Jackie Collins
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
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clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
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A Total Waste of Makeup
- Charlize Edwards, Book 1
- By: Kim Gruenenfelder
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Charlize "Charlie" Edwards certainly knows, in theory, what it takes to lead a successful and happy life. But she's also turning 30, chronically single, and faced with serving as maid of honor at her younger sister's wedding. Charlie finds herself struggling to juggle the chaos of wedding planning (while wondering if she'll ever wear the white dress herself), her all-consuming job for lunatic boss Stanton, and a serious crush on Jordan, a photographer on the set of Drew's latest feature - a man who might actually return her feelings.
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Great read all the way through
- By Raven on 11-18-13
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Hot Mess
- By: Emily Belden
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Twenty-something Allie Simon is used to playing by the rules - until Chicago's most sought-after, up-and-coming culinary genius, Benji Zane, walks into her world and pulls her into his. The only thing more renowned than Benji's mouthwatering masterpieces and equally luscious good looks? His struggle with addiction and his reckless tendency to live life on the edge, no matter the havoc he wreaks along the way. But loving someone means supporting him no matter what, or so Allie tells herself.
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Just finished...
- By Joanne Cunningham on 01-08-19
By: Emily Belden
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Bitter Is the New Black
- Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jamie Heinlein
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Lancaster was living the sweet life-until real life kicked her to the curb. She had the perfect man, the perfect job-hell, she had the perfect life - and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally adored to notice.
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Intolerable
- By Betty on 09-12-09
By: Jen Lancaster
What listeners say about All the F*cks I Cannot Give
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jo B.
- 09-13-18
A fun listen
The description for this book was spot on, so I won't give away any spoilers here. I will say that the narrator has the perfect voice for the character telling the story--he sounds kind of like a cross between Jack Nicholson and George Carlin, and hits all the right comedic notes. I will also say that while this is a funny novel that made me laugh several times, do not listen to it out loud within earshot of young children unless you want to invite some very awkward questions, lol. It is most definitely adult humor. Other than that, enjoy! I did :)
I was given this book free at my request and have voluntarily provided this review.
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- d.bundy
- 06-01-23
Out of five stars, I give us six
I love the storyline I especially love all the movie quotes, musical references, and 80s references. It was like my brain coming out on paper the way I can talk, so it was easy to listen to, and fantastic storyline that contains life lessons and it’s very entertaining.
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- seelk
- 09-08-18
LOL hysterical
My first from the author, I really enjoyed it. I totally recommend it, if you enjoy off-the-wall humour, witty comebacks, and not easily offended by 'choice' words. I was laughing out loud most of Kelly's journey to self-re-discovery and leaving behind his fear of confrontation. I am glad it worked out for him, especially that he got his revenge on those who took advantage of his good nature, I was cheering him on. He got the girl too, Terri and him are a match well made. Got to meet some great secondary characters, some that I loved and some I loved to hate. I hope there will be more of Kelly's adventures.
Mr. Dawson is a new voice to me and I think he delivered the story and then some... expressive, passionate, just enough rasp, perfect for this story told from the hero's POV.
Now that I finished the book, the cover makes sense and it totally fits.
I received this free review copy audio book at my request and this review is voluntary.
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- BookLover
- 10-15-18
A "Hunter" in the Making
This book literally had me rolling with laughter! I could not stop listening! The extra step with Mike Dawson and his almost deadpan, don't give an f attitude as the main character, Kelly, finds out what he is made of. HIGHLY recommend this book.
This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of AudiobookBoom
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- Greg
- 05-10-21
What a hoot !!
Great story, great characters, great narrator and a laugh a minute.
I listened to this book in one day and haven’t enjoyed one this much in ages.
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- daryl mayfield jr
- 04-25-19
Smart and funny
The was a funny and original book. The performance was perfect. Looking forward to checking out more from both the author and narrator.
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- Dee
- 09-05-18
Excellent!!!
I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this listen. It. Was. Excellent.
First, the narration. This story is told from a single POV and it could have easily been a snore. Not in the hands of this narrator. Not only do we get to enjoy the blase attitude of Kelly Carson, our main character, but his internal dialogue was delivered in such a way that I couldn't help but snicker.
The story was fun and could easily have been titled "The making of Kelly Carson." His road to finding himself was seriously special. Kelly's desire to avoid confrontation had been his MO but over the course of the listen, he was forced to reconsider that and more.
I know there really is no opportunity for this book to be a series but man, would I have loved that!
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- Midwestbonsai
- 11-19-18
From Clark Kent to Superman in one leap!
Cautious and good-natured 42-year-old Kelly Carson’s life hits a new low when he is callously fired from his marketing job while waiting in an airport lounge. But then he meets wild and impulsive actress Terri Flynn and as they spontaneously head off for an island getaway, Kelly’s formerly uneventful, settled life suddenly becomes exhilarating, and he finds himself transforming from an unassuming middle-aged man in a loveless marriage to his very own version of cool and assertive Superman.
Kelly’s journey to turning his life around is simply hilarious and I found him to be a character I could easily root for. This was a quick listen and light entertainment. There is nothing too deep here; in fact, it is all pretty predictable, but it’s cleverly done and well written, and it was a great break from my usual diet of thrillers and dark materials. It’s a very uplifting book and I appreciated the message of wisely considering what you give and don’t give a f*ck about.
Along the way, the listener gets a comedic insight into marketing/focus groups and the entertainment industry from movie production to publishing books. Looking into the author’s background, you can’t help but wonder how much of his own experience in marketing and writing/publishing he has used for the creation of his protagonist. There is an abundance of music and TV/movie references. Some from the 80s/90s that went over my head, but I didn’t mind.
As you can guess from the title, if you find listening to some strong adult language objectionable then this may not be the right book for you. There are sexual innuendos and bad language galore. None of it is any way offending though, at least in MHO, instead, as mentioned before, it is very, very funny.
Mike Dawson was perfect for this first-person point-of-view narration. He really took on the persona of the main character and delivered the lines just right, expressing Kelly’s feelings, worries and humor to the point. There were no issues with the production of the audio.
I will definitely be checking out Michael Carlon’s other books when I need another pick-me-up and would love to listen to another narration by Mike Dawson.
Audiobook was provided for review by the author/narrator/publisher.
Please find this complete review and many others at my review blog.
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- cosmitron
- 09-05-18
Fun Fun Fun
In the Trump era we need Fun and this Audio Book dellivers.
You do not need details the Book is well done the Narrator delivers the goods.
Download and have a good time.
This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.
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3 people found this helpful
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- micheleb215
- 10-16-18
I gave to many f*cks...
My only complaint about this audible was the musical interludes between chapters.... I could do without those. Otherwise, this book was hilarious!! I already miss the characters.
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2 people found this helpful