Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

💬 Episode Summary

Hey sis. This week’s episode is a heart-to-heart. I’m showing up a little late (your girl’s flying solo on production), and I’m letting you know we’re taking a June break from full episodes.

But this episode is the one if you’ve ever felt like you needed permission to enjoy your life. I talk about healing through joy, how play is part of reparenting, and how that self-doubt you feel isn’t truth—it’s programming.

If you've been stuck in “who am I to…?” energy, this one’s your reminder that you don’t need permission. Just go.

⏱️ Time-Stamped Chapters

[01:55] Late But Here
Why this episode dropped late and how juggling travel, RESOLVE, and podcasting is a lot—but I’m still showing up.

[02:21] June Break Ahead
Announcing the June hiatus and encouraging you to catch up on past episodes during this time.

[02:50] Go Back and Listen Again
The wisdom hits different the second time—revisit older episodes and notice what new truths show up.

[03:19] Mulch & Memorial Day
A quick life update: mulch delivery, gardening joy, and stepping into something new just for me.

[04:09] This Week’s Topic: Permission
This episode centers around giving yourself permission to do something new—something joyful and healing.

[06:36] Recognizing Internalized Voices
I name the internal voice of doubt and realize—it’s my mother’s. That programming still lingers, even during joy.

[08:21] Joy Is Part of Healing
Expression and play are not extra—they're medicine. Depression lifts when we start to express and explore joy.

[10:49] Creating New Data
Healing means gathering evidence through experience—doing things that build trust in yourself, even when it’s scary.

[12:46] Redefining Without Permission
When no one gave you the authority to be you, you’ve got to crown yourself. That’s where the grief and power collide.

[14:13] From Doubt to Knowing
The inner “I don’t know anything” voice is a lie. And we prove it wrong by doing the damn thing—again and again.

[15:36] The Grief of Becoming
Becoming yourself brings grief too—letting go of old identities that were never really yours to begin with.

[16:55] What You Never Got
Doing joyful things can feel humiliating when you’ve never had someone affirm your desires. That’s real—and it hurts.

[17:53] Feel It to Heal It
All those feelings you avoid? They surface through new experiences. That’s how healing works. It’s not optional.

[18:41] You’re Not Out of Place
Imposter syndrome isn’t about the room—it’s about old wounds. You’re not out of place. You’re just stretching.

[20:02] Community Normalizes Your Joy
Find your people. Whether it's gardening or anything else, being around folks who reflect your joy back to you matters.

[21:29] Collect Evidence That You’re Enough
Every new, joyful thing you try is proof that you’re not who they said you were. That’s how we break the cycle.

[21:59] You’re Not Alone
This healing journey can feel lonely. But I promise—you are not alone. This podcast is proof.

[22:58] Do It Just for You
Try something that feels good for you—even if it’s “frivolous.” Capitalism li

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Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

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How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist

2. Grab my free mini-course

3. Work with me one-on-one

***************************************

Healing from deep wounds is never easy, especially when those wounds come from our closest relationships, like the one with our mother. It’s tempting to avoid the pain or push it aside, but real healing starts when we take a brave step to look deeper at our struggles.

When we allow ourselves to feel sad, angry, or confused, we begin to understand what we need. This is when healing really starts. It is okay to feel pain and not pretend everything is fine. Taking care of the hurt child inside us is very important. This little part of us was hurt and needs love. When we give ourselves that love, we can begin to feel better.

Everyone’s healing is different, but it always begins when we stop hiding our pain and start loving ourselves. That is when we can find real peace.

In this episode, I talk about why healing can’t happen if we ignore our emotions. Many of us try to fix the outside without looking at what’s really going on inside. I share why it’s so important to express your feelings through words, art, movement, or whatever works for you. If you’ve ever felt unseen, like you’ve been carrying sadness without knowing why, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about the power of expression, creativity, and facing those big emotions head-on.

"You can only start to understand where you are and what needs to be healed in you when you decide to express in whatever way that is for you."– Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:20) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:00:42) Last chance to join the “Resolve” healing class

(00:01:44) My June summer break

(00:04:05) Express yourself creatively

(00:07:12) Face your big feelings

(00:08:03) You cannot know enough

(00:11:17) Your inner child needs love, not lessons

(00:16:22) Focus on the root

(00:20:00) Denying your inner child is a form of shaming her

(00:22:36) Come back for her

(00:24:10) Tell me podcast ideas

(00:28:27) Be good to yourself

Key Takeaways:

"The opposite of depression is not happiness, it's expression."

"Doing your inner child reparenting work is directly aligned with tapping into those emotions."

"If you're not dealing with your inner little girl's emotions, then you're not re-parenting and you're not healing."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

***************************************

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist

2. Grab my free mini-course

3. Work with me one-on-one

***************************************

In every woman's life, there comes a point when she must confront the gap between who she had to be as a child and who she’s trying to become as an adult. Somewhere between these two selves lives a quiet tension of a little girl who carried too much and a grown woman who questions if she’s enough.

We learn how to smile through pain, overachieve through exhaustion, and show up for others while secretly wondering who will show up for us. The world praises our strength but never asks about the weight. And now, in adulthood, that strength feels like both a badge of honor and a chain because while it helped us survive, it also taught us to silence our needs, minimize our dreams, and question our worth.

The truth is, the nurturing and emotional validation that is often lacking in childhood shapes how we feel about ourselves as adults. It's that simple validation, like being told, "You're doing great," that builds confidence and self-trust. Without it, we’re left questioning ourselves even though we know how to manage a million things at once.

In this episode, we talk about the difference between showing up as a grown woman and reacting from the little girl who never felt safe. I share how the Black mother wound can confuse your sense of self, especially if you were the first-born daughter who had to grow up too fast. This is an honest conversation about identity, responsibility, and how old survival patterns can still show up in adult life.

"The older we get, the more responsibility we get but we don't get more freedoms because we're still not trustworthy." – Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:13) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:03:17) Facebook Marketplace

(00:06:28) Why get a garden?

(00:07:34) Are you a child or an adult?

(00:09:11) What is a parentified child?

(00:13:20) Made responsible but still not trustworthy

(00:16:32) The power of just one positive statement

(00:24:06) Book Recommendation: Overcoming Underearning

(00:25:22) Elevate the little girl inside of you

(00:26:55) Resolve the inner conflicts

(00:28:27) Be good to yourself

Key Takeaways:

“Write a note to that little girl… tell her how proud you are of her.”

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.

***************************************

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist

2. Grab my free mini-course

3. Work with me one-on-one

***************************************

Mother's Day can feel like a minefield when your relationship with your mother has been painful or distant. Society tells us to celebrate with flowers and praise, but what if that’s not your truth? You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to perform. You are allowed to be honest about how you feel.

Instead of being swept up in the pressure and performance, start focusing on what’s real for you. This week, pay attention to what lifts you. Celebrate the people and the progress that remind you you’re loved, seen, and growing. Let your joy come from within, not from forced expectations.

And if sadness shows up—let it. Feel it. Care for yourself with compassion, not shame. Healing doesn’t mean you never hurt. It means you know how to care for yourself when you do.

This Mother’s Day, center yourself. You get to define what this day means to you now. And that, in itself, is powerful.

In this episode, we talk about how to care for yourself before and during Mother’s Day, especially if your relationship with your mom is painful or complicated. I share why it’s important to be honest about how I really feel, stop telling fake stories, and stay grounded in my truth. Instead of forcing happiness or pretending everything’s okay, I offer real ways to comfort yourself, feel your feelings, and find joy in your own life. This is a gentle, honest conversation to help you stay grounded during a tough time.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:12) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:04:24) Be honest about how you feel

(00:05:59) Society can confuse your real feelings

(00:07:35) Mine for good feelings

(00:09:28) You create your feelings

(00:20:31) The fantasy is your underdeveloped ego

(00:22:54) Your responsibility is to you

(00:23:42) Resolve doors are open

(00:24:50) Fireside Chat Question

Key Takeaways:

“Healing really is about taking back control of your own mind.”

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.

Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist: www.ResolveHealingIntensive.com

2. Grab my free mini-course: www.BlackMotherWoundHealing.com

3. Work with me one-on-one: https://bit.ly/bmwresolve

***************************************

True power comes from knowing your worth doesn’t depend on what others think. Healing starts when you let yourself try, fail, and be imperfect.

When you feel out of control, you might wait for others to approve of your decisions. This need for approval can hold you back from growing and healing. Giving yourself permission means accepting your imperfections, mistakes, and risks. It’s about trusting yourself, not waiting for approval.

You might be waiting for the “perfect” moment or the right tools, but it’s not about being fully prepared. It’s about taking the first step, even if it’s not perfect. When you show up as you are, you build trust and confidence in yourself. Stop waiting for others to say it’s okay. The most important permission you need is from yourself. That’s where healing and growth begin.

In this episode, you'll learn how to give yourself permission to take action, make mistakes, and grow without seeking approval from others. Discover how to build trust with yourself, create internal safety, and let go of the need for external validation. Tune in to learn how to stop waiting for others to grant you permission and start empowering yourself to move forward.

"You have to start giving yourself permission to do it poorly. There has to be a level of permission to make a mistake, to make a mess." – Jennifer Arnise

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:19) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:02:45) Black Mother Wound was a finalist!

(00:05:17) Syndication means expansion

(00:07:33) A win that is both validating and surreal

(00:11:32) I joined the Black Effect family

(00:13:01) Finding Belonging

(00:17:19) Give yourself permission to do it poorly

(00:19:16) Start with what you have

(00:22:35) Build safety within your own life

(00:23:10) Where are you saying no to yourself?

(00:27:08) No one else can save you; it’s on you

(00:29:23) Stop worrying about what others think

(00:31:29) Be good to yourself

Key Takeaways:

"When black women heal, everybody heals."

"When you lack autonomy, you are constantly looking for permission from someone else."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist

2. Grab my free mini-course

3. Work with me one-on-one

***************************************

In a world where perception is currency, we’re often more concerned with how things look than how they feel. We smile for pictures when our hearts are heavy, post about joy when we’re barely making it, and perform perfection while silently falling apart. And somehow, we’ve convinced ourselves that pretending is noble—that enduring quietly is strength.

The truth is, many of us have become so skilled at hiding our pain that we forget it’s even there. We’ve learned to function in dysfunction. To mistake high performance for healing. To believe that being needed means we’re okay.

Freedom begins when we admit we’re tired of performing—tired of holding it all together while silently falling apart. It’s not weakness to let go of the image of being the strong one; it’s worship. It’s trusting that we’re still loved when we’re not impressive, allowing God to meet us in the mess. Being honest about our needs isn’t a burden—it’s the first step toward real freedom.

In this episode, I challenge the self-righteous label of perfectionist and expose what often lies beneath it—deep feelings of unworthiness and fear of rejection. I share how trauma, especially from childhood experiences with our mothers, can shape how we show up in the world and stop us from even trying. I unpack how language reveals our pain and how healing invites us to change our behavior. If you've ever felt paralyzed by the fear of not being good enough, this one’s for you.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:19) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:01:56) Home is my paradise

(00:03:39) Stop calling yourself a perfectionist

(00:05:41) What perfectionism really says

(00:06:52) The trauma behind trying

(00:09:14) The only way through is exposure

(00:11:45) Stop hiding behind perfectionism

(00:12:51) Start messy, grow anyway

(00:14:27) Growth is scary when you don’t believe

(00:17:09) Perfectionism is abusive

(00:18:19) Re-examine your language

(00:20:00) You can’t keep rejecting the younger you

(00:22:31) Where are you harming yourself?

(00:24:45) Even high-performers feel self-doubt

(00:26:40) I can't do perfect

Key Takeaways:

"Healing is an action verb. It's about how you change your behavior."

"The only way you can prove to yourself that you are worthy is to put your shit out there and then do the reparenting work to soothe yourself in the process."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, d

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist: www.ResolveHealingIntensive.com

2. Grab my free mini-course: www.BlackMotherWoundHealing.com

3. Work with me one-on-one: https://bit.ly/bmwresolve

***************************************

In a world that values selflessness, it's easy to confuse being good to others with genuine goodness. We often pride ourselves on being helpful, but the real question is: Are we truly good people, or have we mastered self-betrayal in the name of seeking love and validation?

Self-betrayal isn’t always obvious. It’s a slow shift from what matters to us, where we compromise our values or ignore our needs in the name of kindness.

While selflessness can seem virtuous, sacrificing our well-being for others can cause us to lose touch with who we are. Setting boundaries and caring for ourselves isn't selfish—it's necessary. Only when we prioritize our own needs can we truly show up for others.

In this episode, I ask a powerful question: Are you truly a good person—or have you just mastered self-betrayal? We explore how childhood trauma and the need for our mother’s love often teach us to abandon ourselves in the name of being “good.” I break down how that shows up in adulthood, especially in friendships and relationships, and what it really means to stop trying to make difficult people love you.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:12) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:02:13) Free Mini Course

(00:03:16) About the Resolve Program

(00:05:13) Centering you, not her

(00:07:07) Are you a good person or self-betraying?

(00:10:30) Winning your mother’s approval

(00:12:49) The “Good Person” Mask

(00:15:06) Why we choose the wrong people

(00:17:49) Indebted to love

(00:21:38) Addiction to validation

(00:23:13) Boundaries with yourself first

(00:25:49) Start the awareness work

(00:27:12) Being “Good” isn’t always healthy

Key Takeaways:

"The mother wound is a spectrum, and the people that I help the most are the women who have an acute pain."

"Stop trying to make difficult people be good to you."

“Somebody can do all those things and still not be good to you.”

“Real friends are gonna tell you some shit you might not wanna hear.”

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound

Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.

How we can stay connected and work together!

1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist www.ResolveHealingIntensive.com
2. Grab my free mini-course www.BlackMotherWoundHealing.com
3. Work with me one-on-one https://bit.ly/bmwresolve

***************************************

Many women struggle with the idea of having children because they fear repeating the same mistakes their mothers made. They worry that they’ll pass on the same pain, the same unhealthy habits, or the same emotional scars. These fears are often rooted in their own experiences growing up, where they might have felt unheard, unsupported, or unloved.

However, it’s important to remember that breaking the cycle is possible. Healing starts with acknowledging these fears and choosing to do things differently. Instead of letting the past control the future, women can choose to learn from it and use it as a guide for what they want to change.

Part of breaking the cycle means understanding that parenting is not about being perfect. It’s about being present, being honest with yourself, and showing your children love and care. When you take time to heal your own wounds, you’re better prepared to help your children grow without repeating the mistakes of the past.

In this episode, I share how healing from a mother wound can transform your parenting. As a solo parent, I emphasize the importance of focusing on your relationship with yourself over perfection in your relationship with your child. I talk about parenting with transparency, vulnerability, and seeing your child as their own person. It’s about doing the inner work to parent from a place of self-awareness, not fear. Tune in for insights on breaking the cycle and creating a healthier relationship with your child.

Topics Covered:

(00:00:00) Episode Snippet

(00:00:10) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast

(00:01:21) Vincent got a car!

(00:03:19) The freedom of parenting older kids

(00:04:28) When parenting became triggering

(00:06:07) Heal your childhood trauma

(00:07:50) Parenting isn’t about fixing your childhood

(00:09:50) Parenting isn’t one-way

(00:11:26) Be real with your kids

(00:13:10) A parent is a child’s first relationship

(00:14:04) What is human parenting?

(00:17:01) Teach boundaries with love

(00:19:10) Feeling “taken from” can trigger hidden wounds.

(00:21:08) Motherhood doesn’t come with all the answers

(00:23:17) Self-awareness leads to better parenting

(00:24:32) The real parenting goal: trust.

(00:26:00) Trust leads to responsibility

(00:27:00) Connection comes from repair

Key Takeaways:

"You will make mistakes. So if you are trying to avoid every mistake, you are already fucking your kids up even worse."

DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, pre

Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.

Support the show

Follow me on IG @blackmotherwound