You break up with someone and suddenly, every memory is framed as proof that they never really cared. You get into an argument with your mom, and you leave convinced, once again, that she just doesn’t get you. You walk into a work meeting with the story that your boss doesn’t respect you, and now every glance or tone of voice becomes more “evidence.” Sound familiar? That’s confirmation bias, and it’s working hand-in-hand with a set of mental strategies called defense mechanisms. Together, they keep you feeling justified and self-protected. But they also keep you stuck and locked inside the same limiting beliefs about yourself and everyone around you. Today I’ll explain what confirmation bias really is, how your defense mechanisms support it, and my top five research-backed steps to interrupt your confirmation bias so you can create connected, joyful relationships.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-keep-proving-yourself-right-even-when-youre-miserable-the-psychology-of-confirmation-bias-and-defense-mechanisms

Take the Quiz! What’s Your Go-To Defense Mechanism: https://abbymedcalf.com/defense-mechanism-quiz

Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It’s not hard to stay calm and open when someone is complimenting your outfit or thanking you for dinner. But when they’re disappointed in you? Hurt by something you said? Frustrated by a mistake you made? That’s when your brain shifts into protect mode. And suddenly, instead of listening, you’re defending, explaining, or withdrawing. Defensiveness is one of the biggest barriers to connection, whether it’s with your partner, your boss, your best friend, or your teenager. But if you can learn to manage your internal response to criticism, or even perceived criticism, you can show up differently in every relationship you care about. Today we’ll talk about why you get defensive; you’ll be able to take a quiz to identify your defense style and, of course, I’ll share my five steps to listen without getting defensive.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/how-to-stop-taking-it-personally-5-steps-to-listen-without-getting-defensive

Take the What’s Your Defense Style Quiz: https://abbymedcalf.com/defense-quiz

Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy, https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.

Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We talk a lot about loneliness these days, but we don’t talk enough about why being alone triggers such deep fear for so many of us. Is it just about relationships? Or is there something deeper, hard-wired into our biology and psychology? Spoiler: it's both. And understanding the roots of this fear is the first step to changing it. If you’ve ever felt that pit in your stomach at the thought of an empty weekend, or stayed in a relationship far too long just to avoid solitude, you know exactly what I mean. The fear of being alone is deeply human. While part of it is hard-wired for survival, much of it is learned and reinforced by the world around us. The good news? Once we understand the roots of this fear, we can start to unlearn it, and even come to appreciate alone time as a source of strength, not weakness. Today we’ll discuss the biology, the psychology, and my top five research-backed action steps to reduce your fear of being alone.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-were-so-afraid-to-be-alone-and-the-five-steps-to-feel-at-ease-with-yourself

Get the worksheet Create Your Own Script for Moments of Loneliness: https://abbymedcalf.com/loneliness

Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.

Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let’s start with a hard truth wrapped in a soft blanket: Yes, food addiction is real, and if you’re struggling with it, you’re not broken, lazy, or weak. You’re human. You’re living in a world where the food industry spends billions engineering snacks to hijack your brain, and your biology is just doing its thing, trying to survive. Today we’ll cover all the research and the “why” of food addiction, and then I’ll give you my five actionable steps to start healing your food addiction.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/is-food-addiction-real-heres-the-truth

Take the 5-Day Dopamine Reset Challenge! https://abbymedcalf.com/challenge

Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.

Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com

For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Substack: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“I’m just putting myself first, is that narcissistic?” “Am I being selfish or setting a boundary?” “I think I might be a narcissist.” Sound familiar? If you’ve asked yourself any of these questions, take a deep breath. You’re probably not a narcissist. But the fact that you're even wondering is worth unpacking, because somewhere between healthy self-love and full-blown Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), things get murky. So let’s clear it up. Today we’re digging into the difference between being self-focused (a good thing), being selfish (sometimes good, sometimes not), and having narcissistic traits or full-blown NPD (not great). Then, you’ll learn my five action steps for building healthy self-love without going overboard.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/are-you-a-narcissist-and-dont-know-it-the-truth-about-healthy-selfishness-vs-narcissistic-personality-disorder

Take the Quiz! Self-Love or Narcissism? https://abbymedcalf.com/narcissism-quiz

Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Facebook: https://substack.com/@abbymedcalfphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today's fast-paced digital world, the concept of "dopamine detoxing" has gained traction as a method to reset our brains from constant stimulation. But what exactly is dopamine detoxing, and does it hold any scientific merit? Today, we'll delve into the science behind dopamine, debunk the myths surrounding dopamine detoxing, explore how modern motivations hijack your brain's reward system, and then I’ll give you actionable strategies to recalibrate your relationship with dopamine and your world so you can feel more peaceful, serene, and content.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/dopamine-detoxing-is-a-scam-but-you-should-still-do-it

Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/product/mindfulness-starter-kit/

Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.

Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you’ve ever felt like your partner shuts down when you ask, “How are you feeling?” or you find yourself saying, “I don’t know what I’m feeling; I just feel off,” you might be dealing with something deeper than emotional avoidance. You might be dealing with alexithymia. No, it’s not a disease. Nobody’s broken. But it’s real, and it affects your relationships, your mental health, and your ability to connect with yourself. Because if you don’t know how to identify or express your emotions, it’s going to be hard to have the connections and relationships you want. Today you’ll learn exactly what alexithymia is, the science behind it, and my six-step plan to build the skill of knowing what you’re feeling so you can create more connection, ease, and joy.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-you-or-your-partner-struggle-to-talk-about-feelings-understanding-alexithymia

Grab my Feelings List: https://abbymedcalf.com/feelingslist

Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives, where you’ll find past episodes.

Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com

For more quick tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever found yourself knee-deep in a pint of ice cream after a stressful day, convincing yourself that this is "self-care"? (Or is that just me?). Emotional eating is a common (yet sneaky) coping mechanism that many people struggle with. Why do we turn to food when we’re stressed, sad, or even bored? More importantly, how can we break free from the cycle? Today we’re diving into the psychology behind emotional eating, why it’s so hard to stop, and my top six research-backed ways to regain control over what’s on your plate and what’s really weighing on your mind.

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Full blog and show notes: https://abbymedcalf.com/why-we-eat-our-feelings-understanding-and-overcoming-emotional-eating

Grab my FREE Mindfulness Starter Kit: https://abbymedcalf.com/product/mindfulness-starter-kit/

Learn how to create and hold healthy, loving boundaries with my book Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries or The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier https://abbymedcalf.com/boundaries-workbook

Want to feel happier and more connected in your relationship? Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing: https://abbymedcalf.com/book

____________________________

Looking for past episodes of the Relationships Made Easy Podcast? Head over to https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast and https://abbymedcalf.com/podcast-the-archives where you’ll find past episodes.

Subscribe today to get my love letter to you! This biweekly reminder will keep you on the path to creating connected, happy relationships (especially the one with yourself!). https://abbymedcalf.com

Ready to dig deeper? Take one of my online courses (some are FREE!) or grab a workbook: https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

A great idea to stay motivated and keep your head in a positive direction is to buy some of my fabulous, inspirational merchandise. Get yourself a t-shirt, mug, tote bag or notebook with that daily reminder that you’ve got this! https://abbymedcalf.com/shop

Say hello on social:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abbymedcalf

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abbymedcalfthriving

LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/abbymedcalfthriving

YouTube: https://abbymedcalf.com/youtube

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.