In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores “Frozen in Conflict” — a shutdown response many men have when facing tough conversations.

Whether it’s criticism, shame, or unresolved anger issues, this reaction can look like silence, withdrawal, or emotional disconnection. Often rooted in emotional flooding, depression as anger, or fear of escalation, this leads to unresolved anger problems and broken connection.

For many men and fathers, this can compound anger outbursts, hurt relationships, and leave partners feeling abandoned.

This episode offers a compassionate roadmap to deal with conflict instead of avoiding it — one monkey off your back at a time.

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In this episode, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores contempt—one of the most damaging forces in relationships.

More than just anger issues or anger outbursts, contempt expresses superiority through sarcasm, mockery, and put-downs like “You’re such a loser” or “You can’t do anything right.” It’s not just criticism—it’s humiliation.

Contempt often masks deeper pain, unresolved depression as anger, or ongoing resentment, and is the strongest predictor of divorce. Unlike typical anger problems, contempt erodes connection, self-esteem, and emotional safety.

To shift away from it, Greg offers some thoughts that counter anger control strategies like empathy, mutual respect, and choosing kindness over dominance.

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Defensiveness is another communication choice that degrades Our connection with our partner.

Defensiveness is refusing responsibility for our actions:

by making

• excuses,
• blaming, or
• denying.

We feel overwhelmed by critical feedback. We go into defence mode.

Rather than hearing the other person’s concern, defensiveness deflects or reverses blame,

This makes it harder to resolve issues.

It is a natural inclination to defend, particularly when we are blind-sided by some heavy, critical feedback.

Take Care.

This episode describes CRITICISM and how it impacts our connection with our partner.

… it frays at our connection with our partner.

Our connection with our partner is one of life’s greatest assets, and so if we do something damaging to this connection, it’s a big problem.

… I am going to discuss positive options for when we feel the need to raise a problem with our partners.

Welcome to MEN SEEKING CALM.

I invite you to Start the Change Journey and to take a walk with me.

We cover anger management, male issues and men’s business.

My name is Greg Martin from www.WalkTheMountain.com

In this episode I explain why Reaction-Mode is for the Lonely.

If we can work on our Reaction-Mode … we can get to Calm, then Happiness is possible and gettable.

These are the take-a-ways:

1 I explained reaction mode and …

2 ... How this is a rapid-chemistry event.

3 Reaction is a millisecond choice, but still a choice.

4 Our capacity for thinking is reduced when we are in reaction mode.

5 Occasional reaction-mode is normal when overwhelming events occur in life.

6 It’s exhausting to be the Guy in habitual reaction mode.

7 Reaction-Mode damages relationships.

8 In Reaction-Mode you lose control of the destination, you lose control where you will end up after the interaction

9 People move away from you when you are in Reaction-Mode ... that’s why Reaction-Mode guys end up lonely

10 Responding is the opposite to Reaction. Buy yourself time to think, time to consider your best safest choice moving forward. You will protect your precious connections with people around you.

Today it’s Man Bubble time.

greg martin here from WalkTheMountain.com where …

We walk together and with other men motivated to take a journey to CALM.

Imagine if you will, that you are inside of a big bubble.

The life lesson is that inside this bubble is what you totally control in life.

Behold!!!!

Your Empire of Control inside the Bubble.

Outside the bubble – influence is as good as it gets.

Influence is negotiated or not negotiated and there resides the friction.

The No Control OUTSIDE THE BUBBLE idea allows us an interesting Freedom.

The Freedom is that we HAVE SELF-PROTECTIVE OPTIONS once we realise this.

When you think you are a victim of someone else’s grand plan that is good for them but not for you, feeling powerless is an ugly state-of-mind to be in.

Agency means to be able to take some control on your life and to make decisions that steer it in a way that gives you some satisfaction.

Agency means you are the driver of your life.

This happens in the Man Bubble.

Subscribe to the Men Seeking Calm membership at

www.WalkTheMountain.com

In this episode I posit that Targeting Happiness in life … is a mistake.

We need to find our way to a Calm Baseline first … in order to get to happiness.

I propose that a more useful target is to Seek Calm.

This podcast is about getting you to a Calm Baseline.

And now you know why I selected Men Seeking Calm as the title of the podcast.

Seeking Happiness has many traps which are discussed.

Calm Baseline features include ...

• Peace of mind.
• A sense of balance.
• I feel that in my life there isn’t an overwhelming threat that I can’t handle.
• I have enough mutually supportive relationships that keeps my mind in good shape and
• I feel that I am living a life of purpose.

Change and deep learning happens from Experiential Learning by interacting with me or a group of other like-minded men which is the motivation to have a membership.

I hope to see you in the membership.

You can convert this podcast as a passive listening experience, to a guy-talking-to-another-guy about men’s business.

Domestic violence for men is also described as intimate partner violence and family violence.

In this episode I discuss our first relationship skill for this podcast.

I discuss empathy to our partners, active listening and our conditioning to fix things and how this can get in the way of our relationship.