In this episode of the Men Seeking Calm podcast, Greg Martin explores “Frozen in Conflict” — a shutdown response many men have when facing tough conversations.

Whether it’s criticism, shame, or unresolved anger issues, this reaction can look like silence, withdrawal, or emotional disconnection. Often rooted in emotional flooding, depression as anger, or fear of escalation, this leads to unresolved anger problems and broken connection.

For many men and fathers, this can compound anger outbursts, hurt relationships, and leave partners feeling abandoned.

This episode offers a compassionate roadmap to deal with conflict instead of avoiding it — one monkey off your back at a time.

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In this episode, Greg Martin from WalkTheMountain.com explores contempt—one of the most damaging forces in relationships.

More than just anger issues or anger outbursts, contempt expresses superiority through sarcasm, mockery, and put-downs like “You’re such a loser” or “You can’t do anything right.” It’s not just criticism—it’s humiliation.

Contempt often masks deeper pain, unresolved depression as anger, or ongoing resentment, and is the strongest predictor of divorce. Unlike typical anger problems, contempt erodes connection, self-esteem, and emotional safety.

To shift away from it, Greg offers some thoughts that counter anger control strategies like empathy, mutual respect, and choosing kindness over dominance.

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Defensiveness is another communication choice that degrades Our connection with our partner.

Defensiveness is refusing responsibility for our actions:

by making

• excuses,
• blaming, or
• denying.

We feel overwhelmed by critical feedback. We go into defence mode.

Rather than hearing the other person’s concern, defensiveness deflects or reverses blame,

This makes it harder to resolve issues.

It is a natural inclination to defend, particularly when we are blind-sided by some heavy, critical feedback.

Take Care.