Episodios

  • Are You Really ‘Unhealed’… or Is It Just Your Nervous System? A Polyvagal Perspective on Triggers

    Are You Really ‘Unhealed’… or Is It Just Your Nervous System? A Polyvagal Perspective on Triggers
    Mar 13 2025
    Have you ever been told that if something still triggers you, it means you haven’t healed? This idea oversimplifies trauma, healing, and how the nervous system actually works. In this episode, Dr. Tracy is breaking down why triggers aren’t just signs of unresolved wounds but natural responses from your nervous system—and why healing isn’t about never being triggered, but about recovering faster. We’ll explore: What Polyvagal Theory teaches us about triggers and emotional reactions How your vagal brake helps regulate stress—and what happens when it’s weak Why some triggers come from systemic or relational harm, not just personal trauma What resilience really means for the nervous system Through real client stories and my own experiences, you’ll learn how to stop blaming yourself for your reactions and start working with your nervous system, not against it. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by triggers or questioned whether you’re “healed enough,” this episode will give you the insight and tools to navigate emotional responses with more self-awareness, compassion, and resilience. Press play to learn how to reframe your triggers, regulate your nervous system, and move through life with greater ease. Links: To grab the books and resources I mention in today's episode: Books mentioned in this episode For Therapists and Coaches Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here! You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Challenge the stories you tell yourself: Download my free guide! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    45 m
  • Why You Don't Want to Win Your Next Conversation - with Jefferson Fisher

    Why You Don't Want to Win Your Next Conversation - with Jefferson Fisher
    Mar 6 2025
    Most people approach arguments with one goal in mind: winning. But what if winning an argument actually means losing something far more important—connection? In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Jefferson Fisher, a trial lawyer and viral communication expert, to explore why people approach conflict the wrong way. Jefferson shares practical strategies that will help you stay in control, reduce defensiveness, and shift from a "you vs. me" mindset to an "us vs. the problem" approach. In this episode, they discuss: Why winning an argument often damages the relationship A simple phrase that instantly de-escalates conflict How to say difficult things without fear or avoidance A key mindset shift that transforms the way couples communicate For anyone who has felt frustrated by recurring fights or struggles to be heard in their relationship, this episode offers game-changing insights. Communication doesn’t have to feel like a battle—learn how to argue better, not harder. Grab Jefferson Fisher's New Book "The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk more" Follow Jefferson Fisher on Instagram Links: Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here! You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    47 m
  • After The Honeymoon Stage: What Your Relationship Needs Now

    After The Honeymoon Stage: What Your Relationship Needs Now
    Feb 27 2025
    The butterflies have faded, the sparks feel dim, and now… it’s like you’re just coexisting. You love each other, but your relationship feels more like roommates than romantic partners. Sound familiar? In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg dive into what really happens after the honeymoon stage—why passion shifts, why connection starts to feel harder, and why so many couples struggle with feeling distant as life gets busier. If you’ve ever thought: Why doesn’t it feel the same anymore? Are we falling out of love, or is this normal? How do we get back what we had? This episode is for you. You’ll learn: ✔️ The biggest misconceptions about love after the honeymoon stage. ✔️ Why feeling like “roommates” doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human. ✔️ Practical ways to bring back connection, even when life feels overwhelming. If you’ve been craving more intimacy, laughter, and closeness in your relationship, hit play now. Podcast Episodes Mentioned: From Escalation to Calm Stop Sidestepping Conflict Links: Free Guide: Change Your Stories, Change Your Relationship 100 Questions to Deepen Your Connection 30 Days to Us - All New Connection Challenge More Than Roommates Challenge Relationship Repair Program Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    42 m
  • The “I Guess I’ll Never…” Trap – Breaking Free from All-or-Nothing Thinking

    The “I Guess I’ll Never…” Trap – Breaking Free from All-or-Nothing Thinking
    Feb 20 2025
    What do you do when a partner replies with “Well, I guess I’ll just never … again” after you share something with them? In this episode, Dr. Tracy and her co-host Greg answer this question and talk about how to respond to a partner’s "all or nothing" statement in response to a concern raised. Dr. Tracy talks about the underlying emotion in this expression, provides strategies for having a constructive conversation in that situation, and how to break out of this tricky cycle that stops couples from feeling close and connected. Links: Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! https://drtracyd.com/connect Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here! https://drtracyd.com/podcast You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! https://drtracyd.com/book Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    22 m
  • Stop Sidestepping Conflict: How to Embrace Disagreements and Grow Stronger Together

    Stop Sidestepping Conflict: How to Embrace Disagreements and Grow Stronger Together
    Feb 13 2025
    Have you ever felt the urge to bite your tongue when something’s bothering you—just to keep the peace? Would you describe yourself as a conflict avoider? Or maybe your partner is a conflict avoider. In this episode, we dive into the real reasons behind conflict avoidance, uncovering how silent resentments can take a toll on your mental well-being and your bond with your partner. We’ll explore why we often dodge difficult conversations, the long-term impact on both individuals and couples, and share practical steps to move from avoidance to constructive communication. Whether you’re struggling with unspoken irritations or seeking a healthier way to handle everyday disagreements, this conversation will help you and your partner break the cycle of conflict avoidance. Tune in as we discuss how small (but powerful) shifts can lead to deeper emotional connection and relationship growth. Don’t miss out on these essential insights to transform conflict into a powerful tool for building trust, respect, and closeness. Links: Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here! You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    55 m
  • Why I Had to Change, My Next Big Project, and the F-er Cake—Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy!

    Why I Had to Change, My Next Big Project, and the F-er Cake—Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy!
    Feb 13 2025
    It’s here! Season 6 of the podcast is launching with a brand-new name: Dear Dr. Tracy! In this episode, Dr. Tracy’s pulling back the curtain on why she made this change, what it means for the future of the show, and how she’s stepping outside her comfort zone to bring you even deeper, more real conversations about relationships, resentment, intimacy, and all the messy in-between moments. Dr. Tracy discusses why the name change, how you can be part of the show, what’s been going on behind the scenes, a parenting moment she didn’t sign up for (and why she got a cake for it), and what’s coming this season. Links: Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here! You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    20 m
  • How to Get Your Partner to Go to Therapy

    How to Get Your Partner to Go to Therapy
    Aug 15 2024
    In the season finale of the podcast, Dr. Tracy tackles one of her most frequently asked questions: "How do I get my partner to go to therapy?" But first, she has a special announcement to share: she's writing her second book! Dr. Tracy then dives into the importance of starting therapy early in a relationship to build trust, enhance communication, and address issues before they become critical. She discusses the challenges many couples face, especially when one partner is hesitant, often due to stigma or fear of blame. She shares strategies for encouraging a reluctant partner, including empathetic communication, understanding their concerns, and approaching the conversation with care. The episode also explores the benefits of therapy, such as identifying and changing negative cycles, fostering personal growth, and deepening emotional connection. Dr. Tracy encourages listeners to be patient, respect their partner's pace, and consider therapy as a tool to strengthen and sustain their relationship. Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible! Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off. Links: Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here! You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    41 m
  • Fostering Secure Attachment, Connection, Repair with Our Kids & Beyond with Eli Harwood

    Fostering Secure Attachment, Connection, Repair with Our Kids & Beyond with Eli Harwood
    Aug 8 2024
    In today's episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Eli Harwood, a licensed therapist, author, and creator of the "Attachment Nerd" online community. Eli shares her personal journey of overcoming inherited attachment trauma, emphasizing the importance of breaking intergenerational cycles. Together, Dr. Tracy and Eli explore the pressures of parenting, emphasizing the value of attunement, co-regulation, and being present with children during painful moments rather than trying to eliminate their pain. Eli also introduces her new book, "Raising Securely Attached Kids," which offers insights and practical advice for parents. Key takeaways from this conversation include the importance of repair over perfection in relationships, the necessity of connection in parenting, and understanding that parenting is challenging because it requires confronting our own vulnerabilities. The episode highlights that fostering connection through vulnerability and repair is what truly strengthens relationships. Be sure to keep up with Eli on Instagram @attachmentnerd and pre-order her new book here! Leave Dr. Tracy a voicemail here! A special thank you to our incredible sponsors for making this show possible! Cozy Earth - Visit cozyearth.com and use code SHRINK at checkout for an exclusive 35% off. Links: Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions! Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here! You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here! Ready to learn how to repair? Save now! Grab my REPAIR workshop Looking to improve your relationship? Join me in my online program, Be Connected Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    49 m