Mixed Up

De: Tineka Smith, Alex Court

Narrado por: Tineka Smith, Alex Court

Tineka Smith always knew that growing up Black in America meant certain restrictions. Don’t talk back to white people, expect to be stopped by the police, always be on your guard. So, when she moved to the UK - and fell in love with Alex Court, a white man - she wondered if things might be different.

When Alex proposed to Tineka, it was the easiest decision in the world. What he didn’t anticipate was the reaction - sometimes subtle, sometimes overt - from friends and strangers alike. Nor did he expect to have to think about Tineka’s race, and his own white privilege, every single day.

Tineka has always felt the burden of calling out and educating people, only now she has to teach her new husband at the same time - asking him to see, hear and think with a new perspective about the things he had never noticed before.

But what does this mean for Tineka and Alex’s relationship? With anecdotes, analysis and honest conversations, Mixed Up has the pair attempting to navigate their new and challenging world, confronting race and relationships in the 21st century head on.

©2020 Tineka Smith, Alex Court (P)2020 Audible, Ltd

Reseñas de la Crítica

"A must read book that will change the way we see mixed race couples and make us question our own entrenched beliefs." (Melissa Fleming, award-winning author of A Hope More Powerful than the Sea)

Honest and open. Great points and anecdotes

The authors do a wonderful job pulling back the curtain and showing you what real interracial couples talk about. The honesty, love and vulnerabilities that both authors show will make you feel as if you've been having a deep conversation with a good friend.

Timely and helpful

For anyone who has a deep friendship or romantic relationship with a racial component, this is such a good listen. Grateful this couple shared their ups and downs, and words of advice.

Truth is spoken from different perspectives

I think teachers should share Mixed Up in classrooms and assign students to dialogue open and honestly.

I have experienced much of what Taneka shared. Didn’t realize there were others. It even made me think about my privileges as a lighter skinned black woman. I could go on and on.

Bravo to Taneka and Alex. Very well put together!

Absolutely essential for any interracial couple

I wish I had listened to this at the start of my marriage or even before marrying my husband. We are an international and interracial couple doing our best to learn as we go about how to be better allies to one another, and I can admit I’ve fallen woefully short in many areas. This book echoed things my Indian husband has said to me, especially about not always having his back. This book was incredibly helpful for us, and I will be giving it to all of my friends in interracial relationships. Thank you for this gift.

I appreciate their sharing both perspectives

I liked their honesty and the obvious discomfort, at moments, while still being respectful and supportive. I appreciate being given a peek at a world view I will not totally understand, but will try to be more aware of

Thank you!

I so much appreciated your story.
Thank you fir sharing your story. For educating and bringing validation to some many interracial couples in the world. Well done.

We need more Tineka and Alex to voice these issues. Thanks again🙏🏻

Representation matters

In picking up this book I struggled because I myself am in an interracial relationship and the search for a story like this began as a way to find something where I could heal and reflect on my own experiences. We need more stories and perspectives like these, it makes me feel less alone and I am sure those around me in interracial relationships. Thank you to both these authors for sharing and helping me on my own journey.

Good Listen

Interesting story, most of the information wasn't new to me, but the presentation/performance brought out lots of food for thought. Worth listening to, especially if you are in an interracial relationship.

It seems that Alex is always considering how Tineka feels and not vice verse.

I’m an a African American woman and my husband is European we have three children, two white and one biracial. I really enjoyed the book. I must say that it felt like Alex was always careful what he said in living on pins and needles not to offend his wife. I have been to a lot of countries with my husband throughout the years with our travels, and I think the way that Tineka was looking at these things were more pessimistic. The reason I say that is because like Poland for instance, they really have never seen many African-Americans except on TV so when traveling, I was asked to take many pictures, and I totally understood it as it was something new to the people actually, I embraced it, and I loved it so much, what I am saying and the reason I’m leaving this review is because I believe that both people in the relationship need to be open minded not just one. I don’t like to play the victim as an African-American woman and I do not teach my children to do that. I believe in the incident with the 70-year-old British lady on the train. It could have totally been avoided by simply not saying anything saying something to her did nothing, it did not make you feel better or anything, so sometimes silence is golden, I remember once in a movie theater with my husband I went to the restroom and an African-American guy said to me you couldn’t find any black men date and my response was priceless and I am still grateful for it today. I said nothing, I never acknowledged what he said, and that was so powerful so I say that because sometimes silence is as is powerful as a response. I do not want to be critical at all, but I must be honest cause I am an advert reader, and this is a subject that is very personal for me. I just know that we cannot continue to play the victim as you stated in your book, there is racism within our race, I know a lot of Black people that are totally racist and I do my best not to associate myself with people that are that way. I believe and I’m not sure, but if you were married to a black man, you probably wouldn’t have went to all of those places around the world, because maybe it might’ve not been an interest to do that not because you couldn’t on a financial level and if you thought that that’s my point exactly. My husband is European and he has no desire to go to Hungary but I think you get my point. I didn’t like that Alex is always trying to find a way to defend you or make you feel better, he has no control over his privilege just like you have no control over your Dis privilege. Note I will say that I am a very spiritual person and that has a lot to do with my point of view because I believe in a higher power it helps me to combat any issues that I may face even racial. However life is too short for me to concentrate so much on that one component and maybe just maybe when you all have children, you will see things different. Life is just not about one person in the marriage and how they feel and making them feel comfortable it is a union. With that being said, overall, I did really enjoy the book. It is a conversation that I have shared with many people and it is a good topic I thank you both for taking the time to give us your opinion and your insight on this topic, and I wish you the best in your relationship, and with all of your future endeavors. May God bless you with a lot more chapters to write of your story😍

Honest and much needed

A very honest account of private and yet so public situations that forces all of us to try facing our own relation and take on race, prejudice and privilege.
Authors’ decision to share their own experience, as individuals and as couple, is brave and forthcoming.
Highly recommend to whomever would like to be a better global citizen, promoting understanding and respect for our wonderfully diverse world and the complexity within it.