The modern marriage ideal suggests that we find a partner to help us become our best selves. But we also want a partner to make us feel loved, safe and secure — and that means accepting the current version of us. The person we are today.

To help us become tomorrow’s version, we place a partner in a double bind where they have to acknowledge a difference between today’s version and the version of us we’re capable of becoming. For that, they need to be able to see us through a critical lens.

And that can be very tough. Both on the receiving end and on the messenger’s end.

Lots of us say we want feedback, but most of us can’t handle it.

In this episode, I’m going to:

• Reveal the paradox of the modern ideal marriage.
• Challenge you to question whether we ask too much of our partners.
• Encourage you to prioritize:

Your need for unconditional love

Finding a partner who will help you grow.

Xxoo Darcy

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.

DISCLAIMER

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice

#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy

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Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The threads that bind us to our families have begun to feel optional in recent years.

And in our culture of social media — where anyone with a phone can proclaim themselves to be an expert on subjects that they have no training or qualifications in — influencers are everywhere, some of them encouraging followers to end what they deem to be toxic relationships, or to break unhealthy cycles, or to rethink the obligation of being in our closest relationships.

I am a fan of healthy relationships. And when they become exploitive, manipulative or harmful, I am OK with someone making the decision to exit the relationship — even when it’s with a family member.

I am truly torn when it comes to family estrangement. I know first hand the wounds that come from being in a painful relationship. I understand why someone would make the decision to step away. And as a therapist and a human being, I’ve seen the cost people pay when they lose their tribe.

Joining me in this discussion is Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of the book Rules of Estrangement. Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he has carved out a specialty in family estrangement.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• The #1 cause of family estrangement.
• How well-meaning friends and family tend to exacerbate estrangement.
• The biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to reconcile.

AND… Dr. Coleman gives us his greatest tool for those who want to bridge the gap between themself and a loved one they’re cut off from.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

Is Cutting Off Your Family Good Therapy? The New York Times July 14, 2024 Ellen Barry.

Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the Conflict

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Preston Smith.

DISCLAIMER

#FamilyEstrangement #ToxicRelationships #ToxicFamily #Toxic #Estrangement #Estranged #DrJoshuaColeman #EstrangedParents

#EstrangedChildren #EstrangedParentsAndAdultChildren #EstrangedParent #EstrangedFamily #EstrangedAdultChildren #Reconciliation

#Alienation #ParentalAlienation #NoContact #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

X:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The early stage of a new relationship is like nothing else. The excitement, the intense physical attraction, the space they take up in your mind — it can be all consuming.

A new relationship is a high you can’t find in a drug.

Because of that, new partners can struggle to pace themselves — to slow their roll — so they don’t burn through those early months.

Which is why pacing a new relationship can become its own thing.

And because she is in a new relationship, my co-host Ashtyn Tardif, who you’ve grown to love, joins me with all the questions!

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to handle pressure from family and friends to meet your new partner.
• The pros and cons of making things official on social media.
• How to balance your personal life and independence with merging into a couple.

AND… what to do when the first “I Love You” doesn’t happen simultaneously.

Xxoo Darcy

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith.

DISCLAIMER

#Dating #DatingTips #RelationshipGoals #DatingAdvice #Relationships #RelationshipPodcast #RelationshipPodcasts #RelationshipAdvice

#RelationshipExperts #RealTalkRelationships #LoveLanguage #RelationshipIssues #RelationshipHelp #PodcastLove #WeNeedToTalkWithDrDarcy #Therapy #CouplesCounseling #CouplesTherapy #DrDarcySterling #DoctorDarcySterling #DrDarcy

#RelationshipGoals #SlowAndSteady #NewRelationship #NewRelationships #PaceYourself #Pacing

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

Twitter:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.