Hello!

If we haven’t met before, my name is Maarit. I’m a former single mom turned stepmom, and the voice behind Blended Family Frappé, together with my husband Dan. Who will probably pop in on this podcast from time to time, as he likes to do.

If you know anything about our work, then you know we are ALL ABOUT the deep dive, the research, the in-depth support. And there are a ton of great blended family podcasts that offer exactly that. But I also know that so many times as a stepparent, I just wouldn’t have had the time, or the privacy, the energy, or quite frankly the emotional bandwidth for a deeper dive. And on those days, what would’ve helped me the most is just a quick pep talk. Just… a reminder that I wasn’t alone. That I wasn’t the crazy one. That all this is temporary and everything’s gonna be okay.

So I decided to start a daily podcast for other stepparents who might be feeling the same way. If you’re familiar with our Instagram feed, basically this is the same flavor, but in podcast form. Pop in anytime you’ve got a few minutes and just need a little bit of reassurance. We’ll be here for you. xo

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Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo

What we think makes us good stepparents and what actually makes us good stepparents are sometimes exact opposite things.

We come into this gig with our own ideas about what being a good stepparent "should" look like: active, involved, hands-on parenting. And then we go so overboard trying to prove that we're not evil or wicked that we end up over-engaging in a way that burns us out.

Then we're also faced with all the outside opinions from our partners, friends, family, or even the ex about how they think we "should" be acting for us to be considered good stepparents. And those opinions are often at odds with the reality of stepparenting too, or they're just not realistic for our actual lives.

Common example: we think we need to parent our stepkids to be good stepparents. Our stepkids typically don't like this, and our partners then accuse us of being too hard on their kids. Wait, how are we supposed to show we care if we're not parenting?? The answer: let go of that first preconception that we must parent in order to be good stepparents.

Look, this is a confusing gig, and there's no right answer that works for every stepfamily. Some stepkids are thrilled to have a new stepparent enter the picture. Some think their new stepparent is THE WOOOOORST. Most stepkids have mixed feelings.

What's the answer? BE YOURSELF.

Don't stress so much about whether the stepkids like you (they'll probably come around) or what outsiders think about your role (their opinion doesn't matter anyway).

Just be yourself, stop giving yourself empty, and create your own version of the stepparenting role that works best for you, your relationship, and your stepfamily... in that order.

Not sure how to get started? Here’s our free stepparenting survival guide. xo

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Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo

Your partner’s ex doesn’t get to dictate what happens at your house. No matter how big and scary they come across, no matter how convinced they are that they’re in the right and you’re in the wrong.

If the custody order doesn’t give them a say in your day-to-day life, guess what: they do not get a say in your day-to-day life. Healthy co-parenting works like a business partnership: the co-parents are equal partners in the business of raising a kid together. Neither one gets to call all the shots.

Just like co-workers, co-parents coordinate together on goals and deadlines as needed, but the specifics of how each department is run should be left entirely up to its respective department head.

In other words: your house, your rules. Their house, their rules.⠀

Need more specific help managing a difficult relationship with a high-conflict ex? Start with our 10 Commandments of High Conflict Co-Parenting. xo

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Need a bigger pep talk? Start here or join us over on Substack! xo