Episodes

  • I'm Awful at Boundaries in Ministry

    I'm Awful at Boundaries in Ministry
    Oct 1 2024
    What happens when you are on the line of burnout on a regular basis? Today’s caller, Liz from California, feels like she’s constantly straddling the line of burnout. She has a really hard time with boundaries, especially with ministry. She feels like she’s taught to “trust the Lord” and push through, but not actually replenish herself. She’s watching people in ministry burn out left and right, and no one is teaching her a better way to do it. She’s even seen her own leaders filled with stress and fatigue — but it doesn’t look or feel healthy, and she doesn’t believe that is “trusting the Lord”. So where do you go when you’re bad at boundaries and no one has taught you any better? How do you even set boundaries in ministry when there is so much to do? We talk through all of this in today’s conversation. Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: Soul Care: Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written seven books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, RESET, and Soul Care. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    39 mins
  • I Thought Boundaries Were Selfish - PROTECT with Bianca Olthoff

    I Thought Boundaries Were Selfish - PROTECT with Bianca Olthoff
    Sep 24 2024
    Why do so many Christians struggle with boundaries? We are taught that boundaries are wrong, sinful, or selfish — and that we should always say YES and be ready to sacrifice and serve at a moment’s notice. But is this really the way of Jesus? Or could this lead us down a path of emotional burnout, codependency, and unhealthy relationships? Today, we continue this Soul Care series with an on-air counseling session with my friend, Bianca Olthoff. Bianca has been on the podcast before, processing pain from the past (listen here if you missed it!) but today we dive into the topic of BOUNDARIES and learning to protect your heart and calling. Bianca shares how she lived so many years with low to no boundaries, and the damage that caused in her life and in her relationships. We talk about her childhood, and how the concept of low boundaries began to take root in her life…and followed her into adulthood. It’s probably my favorite conversation on the Soul Care series so far, and I know it will challenge and change you!! If boundaries have been a weakness for you, you HAVE TO make time to listen to this episode from start to finish! Setting healthy boundaries is the Jesus way. Find out how! Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: Soul Care: Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written seven books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, RESET, and Soul Care. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    55 mins
  • Do I Even Need Friends?

    Do I Even Need Friends?
    Sep 17 2024
    How many friends do we actually need? And does the desire to connect change through different seasons of life, or is it a sign that something is wrong? Today as we continue the Soul Care series, I have Cindy from South Africa joining me on the hotline to talk about her recent journey with friendships, and her decreasing desire to connect with people. We process whether or not this is healthy, where it might be coming from, and how she should respond to these feelings. It’s a really good conversation if you’ve ever wondered what friendship in adulthood should actually look and feel like. Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: Soul Care: Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written seven books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, RESET, and Soul Care. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    34 mins
  • I Had Followers but Not Friends - CONNECT with Carlos Whitaker

    I Had Followers but Not Friends - CONNECT with Carlos Whitaker
    Sep 10 2024
    Isn't it amazing how we can feel so disconnected, when our culture is more "connected" than ever before through social media? Today as we continue the Soul Care series, I have an on-air counseling session with Carlos Whitaker, and we dive into his feelings of disconnect from his friends and family, ironically, during the rise of his online connections on social media. He had a lot of "followers" on social media, but not many real "friends". We talk about the roots that got him to that point in life, and unpack some things from his childhood that influenced his difficulty connecting in real life. And then we process what he's been doing to learn to connect in relationships in healthy and life-giving ways. It's such a meaningful and insightful conversation, so make sure you tune in! Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: Soul Care: Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written seven books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, RESET, and Soul Care. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    53 mins
  • How Full do You Feel? + Soul Care Special Reading with Debra Fileta!

    How Full do You Feel? + Soul Care Special Reading with Debra Fileta!
    Sep 3 2024
    It’s book launch day for my new book Soul Care!! And I couldn’t be more excited to share this message with you. It’s a message about avoiding burnout, and staying filled. It looks at the 6 essential rhythms that Jesus practiced to care for his soul, and how we can do the same. I have no doubt it’s a message that will change your life like it changed mine. I have been anticipating this day for so long, and it’s finally here!! So, today on Talk To Me, I not only share my heart about Soul Care with you, but I also read you the first chapter myself with some fun extra side-notes as I read! I can’t wait for you to get your hands on this book, and tell me what you think!! Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: Soul Care: Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written seven books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, RESET, and Soul Care. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    36 mins
  • Can You Take Caring For Your Body Too Far?

    Can You Take Caring For Your Body Too Far?
    Aug 27 2024
    Is there such a thing as going TOO FAR with caring for our body? Though the church culture can be silent about caring for our body, the world seems to make too much of it. How do you know when you’ve taken it too far and then what do you do about it? Today on the podcast I have an on-air session with Emily who feels like she tends to go TOO FAR when it comes to fitness and exercise, and wants to know how to find the right balance of Soul Care as it relates to nourishing her body. I help her find the source of the “lack of balance” (it’s pretty interesting!) and figure out what to do next today on Talk To Me! Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: Soul Care: Pre-Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written seven books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, RESET, and Soul Care. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    38 mins
  • Why I Neglected My Body with Jasmine Mays

    Why I Neglected My Body with Jasmine Mays
    Aug 20 2024
    We continue our Soul Care Series today starting with the rhythm of NOURISH. The functioning of our bodies impacts every other part of who we are, but it’s one of the most neglected messages in the church. Today I have an on-air counseling session with fitness influencer Jasmine Mays, as we dig into her own story of learning to nourish her body after growing up in a world where she actually abused her body, without realizing it, by the way she was treating it. We talk about the impact of trauma on how we care for ourselves (or neglect ourselves) and it gets deep fast. But this conversation is so healing and life changing, and an essential part to Soul Care. Nourishing our body leads us to nourishing our souls. Give it a listen today on Talk To Me! Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: Soul Care: Pre-Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    58 mins
  • Why Am I Always So Burnt Out?

    Why Am I Always So Burnt Out?
    Aug 13 2024
    Why do some people have a tendency to feel more burnt out than others? Why is it so hard to break cycles of feeling depleted and drained? Why is it so hard for some people to say no, to set boundaries, and to care for their souls? Today on the podcast, we start our brand new SOUL CARE SERIES to answer all these questions and dig into some of these important topics in anticipation of my new book! My first conversation is with Cyndi from New York who is struggling with burnout…and doesn’t know why she keeps repeating patterns that she knows aren’t healthy. She goes, goes, goes at work until she feels totally drained — and feels like her family gets her leftovers. The most important question is WHY….before we can practice healthy rhythms to care for our soul we have to get to the root of why we don’t to begin with. I help her unpack this in this really important conversation today on Talk To Me. Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast Extras: Soul Care: Pre-Order Soul Care Today! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, bestselling author, relationship expert, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She’s written six books including Choosing Marriage,True Love Dates, Love In Every Season,Are You Really OK?, Married Sex, and RESET. She’s also the host of Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast (formerly the Love + Relationships Podcast) where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her or someone from her team today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    37 mins