In the week leading of Halloween you might find that your little ones are feeling more scared than usual. But regardless of this, children can be scared of lots of things and this is the subject of this episode!

We chatted about:

• Halloween and how we never really ‘did’ Halloween when we were little and how much it has ramped up in recent years.
• What we were scared of when we were little (well mainly Becks!).
• How every child is individual in terms of what they are / aren’t scared of – some children will LOVE being scared by example.
• How to respond / react to a little one who is scared of something, the kind of things children can be scared of and why it might be.
• Being scared of dying.
• How feeling fear is a natural emotion and how we need it.
• How to help children regulate when they are feeling scared.
• Some techniques to help children when they feel scared.
• Halloween and being scared!

Related blogs:

“I’m scared!” – 10 tips to help your toddler or pre-schooler with their fears

My child is afraid of the dark

Instagram @bespokefamily

Facebook @bespokefamily

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative

Molly is founder of The Body Happy Organisation and author of ‘Every Body’ and ‘Body Happy Kids’

We spoke to Molly about:

• Her background as a journalist and why she decided to focus on researching and promoting Body Confidence for children (and adults).
• Diet culture around children and becoming aware of all the things they are watching and absorbing all the time.
• Teaching children to value, respect and give dignity to everyone regardless of what they look like.
• Body diversity, discrimination and poor body image.
• Weight stigma and weight bias and how this can affect people throughout their lives, for example how well children do in school, in their career and future lives.
• Molly’s books – ‘Every Body’ for children aged 9+ - and how body image is ‘a we issue not a me issue’ and ‘Body Happy Kids’ written for parents to help children and teens love the skin they are in - raising children with a positive body image.
• Being at peace with your body and all the things that feed into this – body appreciation.
• How parents can approach conversations with children when they are being negative about their bodies or when someone has made a comment about their body.
• How listening and encouraging children to talk to us is one of the most important things we can teach them.

Instagram @bespokefamily / @MollyJForbes / @bodyhappyorg

Facebook @bespokefamily

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative

We met Josephine at The International Women’s Podcast Awards when she was nominated for her podcast ‘Gloriously unready’ and we were nominated for ours 😉.

Josephine was mum to 3 boys – quite the challenge (her words!). However, two of her children told her (completely independently and within a few months of each other) that they were transgender. One of Josephine’s daughters has now been on hormones for about 8 years (she is now, at the time of recording, 30) and the other daughter for about 3 years (she is now 26). Josephine now has 1 son and 2 daughters.

Amongst alot of things, we spoke with Josephine about:

• How hard it was to accept – Josephine had to readjust all her thinking and deal with her own feelings of loss and fear – were her children they wrong, were they making a mistake?
• Josephine’s feelings when the children told her (you can listen to Josephine's youngest daughter’s side of the story at the start of the second series of Josephine’s podcast Gloriously unready).
• How there were no signs of the children questioning their gender in childhood, yet one of the girls said to Josephine that she had felt like it for the whole of her life.
• How Josephine's middle child has felt about it all.
• Whether the religious side of Josephine's life made it harder for her especially with regards to acceptance of what had happened in her church.
• How while the explosion of social media and open discussion around sexuality and gender has opened up the conversation for teens, it can be difficult for parents to navigate how to handle this.
• How important it is that people might not understand transgender but that having a respectful society is what we need.
• Puberty blockers, surgery and the recent Cass review.
• How meeting transgender people and having conversations with them about the process and hearing their stories has provided Josephine with support and understanding in this area.
• Practical things that can be done to change your gender and how much easier it is to do these things in other countries.
• How Josephine's wider family reacted to the girls including how, since her 2 girls came out, and just a couple of years ago, Josephine’s brother also came out as transgender and is now her sister.
• What Josephine would say to parents whose children have just told them they are transgender.
• The real positives of being a transgender parent.

Another of our podcast episodes you might find interesting – Gender and Sexuality

Josephine’s podcast page - Gloriously unready

Instagram @bespokefamily / @TheJosephineHughes

Facebook @bespokefamily

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here:

Are you a hugger? Becks is, Claire isn’t (she just doesn’t feel the need all the time!)!

We spoke about:

• Our own experiences with hugging and showing affection.
• How to approach situations with children and hugging – should it be an expectation that your child hugs people?
• If not, what should you do?
• Having conversations with people about the fact your child can say no they don’t want a hug and when to do it.
• Kissing little ones and reasons we don’t kiss newborn babies (or you could kiss their feet!).
• Teaching children life skills so they know the importance of saying no if something doesn't feel right – that their body is their body and it’s OK.
• How showing affection can be done in many different ways.
• The pandemic and how we weren’t allowed to hug!
• 5 Love Languages and how helpful they are for all of us.
• The power of the Disney Hug.
• NSPCC and the PANTS rule.

Blogs – Should I make my child hug people?

You might also find this blog interesting – Why doesn’t my child show much affection?

NSPCC PANTS rule

Find your Love Language with this free quiz

Instagram @bespokefamily

Facebook @bespokefamily

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative

This episode was so much fun! Vern joined us from Carifit, the original baby wearing fitness programme. Cari stands for Cardio and resistance intervals and when he started the classes for new mums Vern used to wear the babies while the parents worked out - he had a light bulb moment that parents could wear their own babies to work out and it went from there!

We talked about:

• How from small beginnings the Carifit classes grew and then the baby carrier was born. (Shout out to Hannah Lowry who was one of the first mums to join Vern at a class!)
• Groupology and the science and benefits of moving in sync.
• The benefits of mood, energy and mental health from doing exercise like Carifit – it can even improve postnatal depression symptoms.
• The marvels of the women’s body and how incredible it is!
• How the Carifit caters for parents from the moment they become pregnant and how attitudes to postnatal and ante natal exercise has changed / is changing.
• Shifts in attitudes to ‘getting back in shape’ after having a baby over the years Vern has been working in this area.
• Benefits of Carifit eg no separation, no childcare required, no other people required. How Carifit works if you have multiple babies.
• Carifit classes and the App.
• How great baby wearing is in general - ”A tool for freedom and movement – wear your baby and move!”.
• Golden rules for babywearing and positioning of baby’s legs.
• Is babywearing ‘making a rod for your own back’ - spoiler alert – absolutely not, in fact research supports that babywearing will help keep your day successfully moving forward!
• Three things that Vern wishes he had been told before he had children.
• Babywearing benefits for baby’s brains!
• Shout out from Vern to Mamma Social and Blaze Trails – two highly recommended babywearing walking groups.

Instagram @cari_fit

Carifit website - https://www.getcarifit.com/

Instagram @bespokefamily

Facebook @bespokefamily

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative

July going into August is a month of birthdays and celebrations for us – starting with our business birthday at the end of July, Becks’s dog Olive’s birthday on 1st August (!), then Becks and her twins (all on the same day!), Claire’s birthday exactly a week after and then Becks’s husband at the end of August! So, we thought that this was the ideal time to look at birthdays, presents, parties and everything that goes along with it!

We spoke about:

• Why birthdays are Becks’s very favourite thing!
• Baby’s first birthdays (they don’t know..!)
• Birthday parties – for all ages and how the most important thing is making it personal for everyone and celebrating as a family together.
• Inviting the WHOLE class from school (and the associated presents!)!
• How parties can be quite overwhelming if the birthday girl / boy doesn’t like being the centre of attention.
• Present alternatives – perhaps give experiences instead (thanks @nannyanita – they are quite often better as a gift for older children).
• Parties – thanks to Mel @sleepNannymelaniehastings – who suggested picking a theme for the party to help keep focus on the party planning.
• Claire’s party project for nanny training (and her duck cake..!).
• Birthday cakes (and some of Becks’s creations for the twins’ birthdays!!).
• Birthday build up and managing expectations and emotions.
• Birthdays and multiple children – twins, triplets and more.
• Christmas and New Year birthdays.
• Party bags (no whistles please!).

Ps – following up on something we said in this episode, Ben actually pulled it out of the bag and ended up giving Amy a beautiful Pandora charm for her birthday 😊!

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative

Co-parenting mentor Sarah joined us from Australia for the podcast! She specialises in supporting (mainly) women and their children when relationships break down.

We talked about:

• The importance of putting children first, but how difficult it is when your co-parent isn't on the same page as you in terms of their approach.
• How Sarah started working in the field having had her own traumatic personal experience and being a co-parent herself.
• How Sarah coaches parents to regain their confidence and ‘step into their power’.
• Sarah’s recommendations for effective communication when co-parenting along with what parallel parenting looks like
• Narcissistic ex-partners, what this means and Sarah’s advice when faced with that level of challenge in a co-parenting relationship
• How all co-parenting relationships can be tricky and how making sure you are focussed on the children is of paramount importance.
• The ripple effect of the wider / extended family - the opinions and ‘sides’ that come with this and how to navigate it all.
• The importance of a support system and identifying who is on ‘team me’.
• Recognising that you are a ‘good girl people pleaser’ and breaking this cycle for the sake of your children.
• Sarah’s 3 key tips for your co-parenting journey.

Find Sarah @unshakeablecoparenting on Instagram where she has something for every stage of coparenting. Although Sarah is based in Australia, she works with parents all over the world.

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative

Janine is mum of 2 children, who are now 10 and 12. She runs her own business helping coaches and consultants with their marketing and sales.

We spoke to Janine about:

• Whether there is such a thing as a natural born parent and Janine’s feelings on this.
• The stress of getting children out of the house - mum guilt and shouting at children!
• How taking an online parenting course when the children were around 2 and 4 changed things for Janine.
• ‘Feeling maternal’ - the expectation that everything should come naturally to parents and how we haven’t replaced the ‘village’ that helped us to raise our children.
• Having a growth mindset and how this helped Janine to develop in her parenting.
• How Janine felt that she lost her identity and that her world had shrunk when she had her children. How having her own business helped her to get her identity back.
• Three things Janine would say to herself as a new mum.

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative