Keith kicks things off with the realization that he's been celibate for half a year and asks Mike for his longest dry spell, opening up a deep dive into the strange, hilarious world of post-college dating before apps were even a thing. Spoiler: the secret to success back then apparently involved nothing short of flashy cars and questionable confidence.

The conversation quickly veers into the psychological battlefield that is dating culture, as the duo debate why some guys lie their way to the top while others (including themselves) end up spinning their wheels. Keith reflects on his struggles breaking into conversations with strangers, while Mike philosophizes on the mysterious charm of "Riz" (after first learning what it is). In an unfiltered chat about awkward social dynamics, they wonder if being a charismatic introvert in your forties is more of a feature than a bug.

Somewhere between debating candy-colored apps and chemical addictions, Keith admits to getting way too into Candy Crush, losing hours and, nearly, his dignity, to the game's addictive spell. Mike, ever the wise advisor, encourages him to uninstall but jokingly suggests that at least with cocaine there’s more excitement (and arguably better stories). The two even suggest a government campaign against mobile game addiction, imagining a "Just Say No" to digital candy. Somewhere, Nancy Reagan is probably nodding along in spirit.

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