Join my free PRIVATE FACEBOOK page! https://www.facebook.com/groups/2420729361374989 Somatic Sparkle 1:1 Sessions (mentioned in episode): https://christyjade.com/somatichealing Narcissistic Abuse 1:1 Coaching: https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/journey-to-peace-coaching-blueprint/ ✨Wanna take your boundary game to the next level? Grab my Empowered Boundaries Course https://shethrives.thrivecart.com/empowered-boundaries/ 💌 Questions about my somatic healing, affirmations or anything else? Email me anytime — I got you: FierceMamaC@gmail.com Free 4 Minute Mood Boost Meditation https://christyjade.ck.page/insider Grab your #notmyshit Journal on Amazon https://amzn.to/46dDSYk TRANSCRIPT Speaker 1 (00:00): Hello Queens. Do you ever look back and think, well, he didn't cheat, or he didn't hit me, or he didn't X, Y, Z. Fill in the blank. So why do I feel like I'm still healing from a damn war? Let's talk about the nicer narcissists, the ones who smiled while they crushed your self-worth. Yeah, we're going to go there today. Stay tuned. Have you finally broken free from that narcissist creepy crawly web, but still feel stuck in fear. Wish you could trust yourself again and take your life back. Well, you're in the right place, queen. I'm Christie, wife, mom and narcissistic abuse recovery coach. I've walked the messy road, wasted money on the wrong therapist and dry advice, and had to come to Jesus moment to get me here to feel free. I had to reconnect with me, set boundaries that stuck, and find healing methods that actually lasted. (01:00) Now, I've created a plan that's empowering, doable, and yes, even fun because I'm sparkly and fun. So of course it's going to be fun. So if you're ready to break cycles, reclaim your peace and trust yourself again, this podcast is for you. So steep, that chamomile tea, silence, all that crazy chaos out there, and let's cue your royal glow up. All right, so let's talk about this nice guy or nice girl narcissist. They exist, right? And I have had my own experience with one of them and to the outside world, they are awesome. When you first meet them. They can be very awesome and charismatic and almost overly attentive in a way to you, but they end up as you get closer, and it can happen pretty quickly. As you get closer and more familiar with them and they get you under their thumb or in their spider web, whatever you want to call it, it can really shift and it can be a slow shift, or sometimes it can be a quick shift depending on how much control they feel they have, at what level they have control of you and feel like you're starting to be somewhat dependent. (02:23) This can be romantic relationship, obviously, but there's also friendships that can be like this, or even boss situation ships, which is, I did have a situation like that where I thought I had the best boss ever until it quickly turned, and so that's a story for another time. But I feel you. I know what it feels like and you're like, they were a good guy, right? Maybe they never even yelled. They didn't lay a hand on you. Maybe they brought you flowers, polite to your friends, said they wanted to whine and dine you. So why do you feel so confused, manipulated, lost, whatever you want to call it. The truth is, just because someone looks and acts kind doesn't always mean they are safe, emotional abuse, isn not about the volume, it's about the control. There's subtle erosion. I'm going to repeat that. It's about control, and there is subtle erosion. (03:29) Like I said, it can be quick, but usually it's a more subtle erosion unless they really rope you in fast. So that's exactly what the nice narcissists do best. So if you're wondering whether what you went through was bad enough to call abuse, let me tell you this with love, if you feel broken, if you feel like you lost yourself, if you're second guessing, your worth, your memory, right? Are you wondering, did that happen that way? Maybe I'm remembering it wrong. Your reality. That is enough. These covert narcissists, the good guys, they don't throw plates. They throw confusion. Okay? Look, they don't often yell. They withhold, they gaslight, they guilt trip. They charm the room. Like I said, they can be very charismatic and they make you feel like the crazy one. When you get upset, show any emotion, right? So let's break it down. Here are some signs that you were dealing with a nice guy, narcissist, or maybe you're currently in this situation. First of all, they rarely show anger, but you're always the one apologizing, right? So there is that shift of they might not show outward anger, but you always end up apologizing and kind of tiptoeing walking on eggshells. (05:11) Two, they weaponized guilt, but I was just trying to help you, right? They're weaponizing guilt, and that's similar to three where they play the victim, I do everything for you and you're still not happy. Does that sound familiar? Number four, they're liked by everyone else. So you ...
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