What are some tips for the holidays when my loved one has dementia?Be adaptable, flexible and communicate

The holidays are a time for togetherness and making memories, but the reality is it can also bring stress and disappointment. Holiday traditions may need to evolve over time as family dynamics and situations change, including when a loved one has Alzheimer’s or dementia.

Megan Rowe, former Senior Program Manager with the Alzheimer’s Association: Dallas and Northeast Texas chapter has helpful tips if you’re a caregiver or celebrating with someone who needs a little extra help.

Megan recommends planning and making adjustments alongside your loved ones. Come together to discuss where your focus should be and what will bring the most joy to your family member with dementia or Alzheimer’s. Then you can work together to make it a reality.

Set expectations

First, it’s important to have a meeting with your loved ones to make sure they understand the situation. The Alzheimer’s Association website offers a letter template if you need help explaining the reality of your loved one’s state to them. It may have been months or years since your family has seen your loved one, and maybe they’re unprepared for how your loved one has regressed. Be sure to set boundaries and expectations around what you can and cannot do, giving yourself permission to only do what you can manage.

Don’t be afraid of change

While some traditions may not make sense considering your loved one’s situation, try finding a suitable alternative. For example, hosting a holiday with 20 people can be overwhelming with someone who has dementia. Consider having a more intimate holiday – or, set aside a designated quiet space for your loved one to take breaks from the action. If you’re accustomed to making a holiday feast by yourself, you might order food ahead of time or host a potluck-style meal so others can chip in.

Also consider the environment. Those with dementia have sensory differences, so beware of fake food and too many blinking lights. Make the other guests aware of anything that could be dangerous to your loved one as well.

Ask for help

You don’t need to manage everything on your own. It’s better for you (and your loved one with dementia / Alzheimer’s) to have a community on your side. It takes a village, and the more helping hands, the better. With their help, you can allow yourself to indulge in self-care and anything that manages your stress.

Topics discussed:

Alzheimer’s and dementia

The Alzheimer’s Association

Holiday planning with dementia

Tips for caregivers around the holidays

Tips for Alzheimer’s during holidays

How to help caregivers

Takeaways from this episode:

-Always include your loved ones in discussing options as you figure out what your holiday should look like.

- Caregivers tend to mask their loved one’s state, so others won’t worry, but you should familiarize them with the situation, so everyone is on the same page.

-Find safe, enjoyable, and purposeful ways for your loved one to help with the holidays. Maybe it’s as simple as polishing silver or setting the table.

-Those with dementia or Alzheimer’s tend to be more active in the morning. Meeting in the late afternoon or at dinnertime is less ideal and more tiring.

-Think of appropriate gifts for your loved one. Avoid buying them pets (this could be an additional stressor for caregivers). Caregivers can benefit from less traditional gifts such as meal delivery or handyman service.

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As we age, planning for our future living arrangements and associated costs becomes crucial. In this episode, we're going to demystify the options and strategies for covering senior housing and care services, ensuring that you are well-informed as you consider the financial aspects of your loved one's aging.

Often, there's confusion regarding the payment methods for senior housing, and a common misconception is that Medicare covers all expenses. Unfortunately, this is not the case, and understanding the nuances of payment options is crucial.

Private Pay Options

The primary payment method for senior housing is private pay, predominantly funded through:

1. Savings and Investments: This includes accessing retirement accounts, 401(k) plans, stocks, bonds, and personal savings.
2. Social Security Benefits: These monthly payments, based on work history, contribute significantly to covering costs.
3. Pension Plans: Although less common nowadays, pensions can still provide essential support.
4. Proceeds from Home Sales: Many seniors use the equity from selling a long-term home to finance their living arrangements.
5. Reverse Mortgages: This method allows those aged 62 and above to convert home equity into usable funds.
6. Life Insurance: Options include cashing out or borrowing against an existing policy.

Government and Veterans' Programs

In some situations, government assistance can aid in offsetting costs:

1. Veterans' Benefits: Eligible veterans and their spouses may access aid for assisted living or memory care.
2. Medicaid: While state-specific, Medicaid may cover nursing home expenses for qualifying low-income seniors.
3. Medicare: It's important to remember that Medicare does not cover housing but may fund specific health-related services.

Long-term Care Insurance

These policies may cover care related to activities of daily living like bathing and dressing. They vary widely, with typical policies covering costs for a set period, such as three years, after a 90-day qualification period.

Family Contributions and Other Options

Sometimes, family members may contribute financially. Additionally, strategies like taking out bridge loans during home sales or renting out a property could facilitate funding.

Understanding the difference between home care and home health care is essential:

1. Home Care: This non-medical support, including assistance with daily tasks, is privately paid.
2. Home Health Care: In contrast, this is medical care provided at home, typically covered by Medicare if eligibility criteria are met.

This end-of-life care focuses on comfort and quality, funded by Medicare. It's important to note that one cannot access both home health and hospice care simultaneously under Medicare due to funding overlaps.

1. Planning how to finance senior living and care is crucial in avoiding unanticipated challenges.
2. By understanding payment options and creating plans, you can ensure smoother transitions for yourself or your loved ones.

• 00:00 Introduction to Senior Living Funding
• 01:06 Importance of Recognizing Red Flags
• 01:43 Understanding Senior Housing Payments
• 02:54 Private Pay Options Explained
• 05:41 Government and Insurance Programs
• 09:42 Home Care vs. Home Health Care
• 14:34 Hospice Care and Medicare
• 17:25 Conclusion and Final...

As the holiday season approaches, it's time filled with joy, celebration, and family gatherings. However, it’s also crucial for us to be vigilant when visiting our older family members. With concern from my listeners growing every year post-Thanksgiving, I felt the need to emphasize the importance of spotting the “red flags” when it comes to the well-being of our loved ones.

Why Don’t They Tell Us?

It’s perplexing why older family members often don’t share their struggles. The fear of losing independence is a significant factor. Many seniors fear the idea of losing their autonomy or being a burden on their children. Denial also plays a role, especially in cases of dementia, where they might genuinely believe everything is fine. The fear of the unknown and preconceived notions about “nursing homes” often add to their reticence.

Chapters:

• 00:00 Introduction: Navigating Conversations with Aging Parents
• 00:29 Welcome to Aging in Style
• 01:08 Holiday Visits and Red Flags
• 02:16 Understanding Why Seniors Hide Their Struggles
• 05:30 Identifying Physical and Environmental Red Flags
• 09:45 Mental and Emotional Health Red Flags
• 13:21 Creating a Safe Environment for Seniors
• 14:35 Preventing Falls: Key Strategies
• 25:25 Leveraging Technology and Gadgets for Safety
• 30:11 Conclusion: Enjoy the Holidays and Stay Vigilant

What to Look For?

When visiting aging family members, we shouldn't bombard them with a checklist, but there are subtle signs we should casually observe:

1. Physical Appearance and Hygiene: Noticeable changes in weight, grooming habits, and cleanliness can be warning signs.
2. Home Environment: Look for piles of unopened mail, expired food, or unusual clutter which might indicate an inability to maintain their usual standards.
3. Safety Concerns: Are there signs of a fall, such as unexplained bruises, or are grab bars needed in the bathroom? Simple additions can increase safety.
4. Cognitive and Emotional Health: Observe for disorientation, memory lapses, or mood changes. Withdrawal from social activities is also a red flag.
5. Health and Medication: Missing doctor appointments or mishandling medication could signal bigger issues.

Creating a Safe Environment

Most seniors wish to age in place, in their homes, as long as possible. While immediate relocation might sometimes be necessary, there are numerous ways to ensure their home remains a safe haven. Falls are one of the most significant threats to seniors' independence, often leading to sudden life changes.

To prevent falls, consider the following:

1. Regular Health Check-Ups: Ensure medications are reviewed and eyes and feet are checked regularly.
2. Physical Exercise: Encourage exercises focusing on balance and strength.
3. Home Modifications: Install grab bars, improve lighting, and remove tripping hazards like throw rugs or clutter.

Technology and Tools for Independence

The use of technology and gadgets has brought numerous advantages to senior care. From medical alert systems resembling Fitbits to medication dispensers, there are countless innovations designed to enhance safety and independence. Tools like Alexa can serve as emergency assistants, as illustrated by the story of a neighbor who successfully called for help after a fall.

Staying Connected While Staying Safe

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