You're Not the Problem

The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal

By: Helen Villiers, Katie McKenna

Narrated by: Helen Villiers, Katie McKenna

Two popular psychotherapists explore narcissism in family of origin, unpacking the fallout from being raised by narcissistic parents, and offering strategies for how to heal.

Many emotionally abusive behaviors from parent to child have become socially acceptable because of the way we repeat things our parents said and did, things passed down from generation to generation that persist today. You're Not the Problem enables us to recognize these behaviors and realize the profound impact they have had, and still have, and to see the patterns they form in our relationships with parents, partners and friends. It also shows us how to heal on a personal level but also on a societal level. The legacy and the damage caused by narcissistic and emotional abuse will carry on, perpetuated by trauma and repeating cycles, unless we learn to recognize and understand it, unless we as individuals and as a society learn how to challenge it and stop its vicious cycle of destruction—which is what this book sets out to do.

This book will explain and illustrate:

• How to recognize emotional abuse in family relationships: its language and behaviors
• The immediate and long term impact of these behaviors
• Strategies for healing
• How to avoid repeating these behaviors

Using client narratives and sample scripts, Villiers and McKenna offer a compassionate, sympathetic approach to looking at our familial patterns—and how we can break free from these toxic relationships and reclaim our lives.

©2024 Helen Villiers and Katie McKenna (P)2024 Hachette Go

Validating and Helpful

Gives clear, relatable examples while explaining behaviors and providing constructive means for growth with enough information to provide a thorough understanding — without being too clinical to follow. I felt like I got a lot from this book.

Great and helpful

Really liked this- gave examples, exercises, and well put together. Great help for anyone in this situation

Helps those of us with Narc family

Love this book and the authors. Helping the world heal. As a daughter of a NM this has helped so much.

amazing work

this book is a wonderful guide to understand narcissist behavior and to heal from the wounds it can cause

Finally, healing

I’ve listened to a lot of books about my abusive childhood. This is the first one that actually helped me begin healing by validating the struggles with how to fu@& do it. The exercises in ch 10 are bookmarked!! The describe myself activity in particular broke down a wall for me. I am not what my family describes me as and the people I love being around see me for who I truly am. Thank you, authors for giving that gift to me. My self hatred was not my fault, their voices were just too loud and hateful. I was never the problem. 🥹

Highly reccomend

There is a good deal of information in this book, and it's presented in a way that is both compassionate and easy to understand. I felt encouraged, validated, challenged even called out in some instances. Great experience, healthy learns, and cause for reflection.

I'm definitely going to listen to this again.

Life changing

Excellent resource for understanding and healing narcissistic abuse. Recommend for the children and partners of individuals with NPD.

Renewal through reflection

This book is incredibly helpful. It is very challenging to face trauma and open up our armor, but it is well worth it. If you are on the fence, perhaps because you don't think you experience was THAT bad, get the book.

WOW absolutely WOW

It’s going to hurt but you will have your eyes opened to the world you missed around you.

Life changing

So much information to absorb in a short amount of time. So I will be reading this again, at least one more time. This book is life changing. I would suggest anyone that has had to love with a narcissistic family member or spouse to dive in!