You Are All Diseased
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You Are All Diseased
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Narrated by:
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By:
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George Carlin
About this listen
Tracks:
1. How's Everybody Doin'
2. Airport Security
3. Fear of Germs
4. Cigars
5. Angels
6. Harley Davidson
7. House Of Blues
8. Minority Language: A-Happens to Be; B-Openly; C-Urban; D-Girlfriend
9. Man Stuff
10. Kids and Parents
11. TV Tonight
12. Names
13. Advertising Lullaby
14. American Bullshit
15. Businessmen
16. Religion
17. There Is No God
Explicit Language Warning: You must be 18 years or older to purchase this program.©1999 Atlantic Recording Corporation (P)1999 Atlantic Recording Corporation
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Editorial reviews
You Are All Diseased by the Grammy Award-winning American standup comic George Carlin was recorded for HBO on February 6, 1999, but the material remains fresh and funny today. His textured voice and top-notch delivery create an unbeatable listening experience as he covers topics such as airport security, terrorism and religion. The audiobook includes: "Fear of Germs", "Cigars", "Angels", "Harley Davidson", "House of Blues", "Minority Language: A-Happens to Be; B-Openly; C-Urban; D-Girlfriend", "Man Stuff", "Kids and Parents", "TV Tonight", "Names", "Advertising Lullaby", "American Bullshit", "Businessmen", "Religion", and "There Is No God".
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fanntastic book but maybe not for everyone....
- By So Fain on 03-27-11
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CRAY
- By: Darrell Hammond, Elizabeth Stein
- Narrated by: Darrell Hammond
- Length: 1 hr and 10 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 144
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 141
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 141
He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Thanks for sharing
- By Nickisnotgary on 09-06-24
By: Darrell Hammond, and others
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,309
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,889
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,880
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 17,427
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 15,879
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Story4 out of 5 stars 15,813
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
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5 out of 5 stars
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More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,188
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,054
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,050
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Outstanding insight... Well read
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5 out of 5 stars
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4 out of 5 stars
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Comdedy Classic
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4 out of 5 stars
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I nice pragmatic view of life.
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Grammy Winner for Best Spoken Comedy Album
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5 out of 5 stars
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5 out of 5 stars
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5 out of 5 stars
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Like a Cast of Thousands
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By: George Carlin
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Complaints & Grievances
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5 out of 5 stars
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Funny
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4 out of 5 stars
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4 out of 5 stars
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I nice pragmatic view of life.
- By Aaron on 10-19-04
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Brain Droppings
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5 out of 5 stars
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- By Rod A. on 12-12-11
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Life Is Worth Losing
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George Carlin's 18th album. It was recorded simultaneously with the live broadcast of his 13th HBO special.
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5 out of 5 stars
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classic
- By Brad on 02-13-09
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Napalm & Silly Putty
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- Narrated by: George Carlin
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 238
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 202
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 199
Yes, George Carlin is here with more of what he did better than any other comic: uproarious observations, laser-targeted crankiness, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness. ("If the shoe fits, get another just like it." "When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") Napalm & Silly Putty is just what his fans have been waiting for—another generous helping of notions, nonsense, assertions, assumptions, mockery, merriment, silliness, sarcasm, and, to be sure, plenty of disturbing references and toxic alienation.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good, but not like the stand-up
- By Anonymous User on 10-10-21
By: George Carlin
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Class Clown
- By: George Carlin
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Comedian George Carlin's definitive monologue was delivered on this 1972 album, his third, in the form of Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Television. The FCC and Supreme Court held the routine as the epitome of tastelessness, threatening to yank the license of any station that dare play it over public airwaves. So you know it has to be funny. Buy it today and shock your parents!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Top 5 comedy album of all time
- By Kent on 06-24-08
By: George Carlin
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Back in Town
- By: George Carlin
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 40
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 40
George Carlin's ninth HBO special, it was recorded in 1996 at the Beacon Theater in New York City, his first of many performances there. Carlin said it featured the best writing and performing he'd done in 36 years.
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5 out of 5 stars
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George Carlin is Irreplaceable!
- By Tracy P. on 07-24-18
By: George Carlin
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More Napalm and Silly Putty
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 28 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 217
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 82
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 83
A companion to the best selling Napalm and Silly Putty, George Carlin's More Napalm and Silly Putty picks up where the original left off, with more laser-sharp observations, tough questions, philosophical musings, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness in these unabridged excerpts from the thinking man's comic - and three-time Grammy winner!
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3 out of 5 stars
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Entry-Level Carlin
- By Charles Elmore on 12-23-03
By: George Carlin
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Classic Gold
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 204
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 142
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 140
This set contains three of George Carlin's classic albums from the 1970s in their entirety: FM & AM, Class Clown, and Occupation Foole.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Don't listen and drive
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-12
By: George Carlin
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Parental Advisory
- Explicit Lyrics
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 79
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 55
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 53
Okay, you might want to remove children under the age of nine from the room before listening to this brilliant album. When they turn 10, you might want to reconsider. Kids are going to learn this language sooner or later, so why not from George? It's Carlin's 12th comedy album, and most of it comes from his seventh HBO special Doin' It Again.
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5 out of 5 stars
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George Carlin- The Greatest Observer of Mankind.
- By BusDriverNYC on 03-23-19
By: George Carlin
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Carlin on Campus
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 47 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 26
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 19
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18
This fourth HBO special by George Carlin was recorded on April 18 and 19, 1984 and features mostly new material. The opening features Carlin in Catholic school with a short version of "Class Clown" and animation shorts. The ending features Carlin playing piano to an original song called "Armadillo Blues".
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5 out of 5 stars
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A legend
- By Jewels88 on 03-26-21
By: George Carlin
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Jammin' in New York
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 56 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 74
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 53
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 52
George Carlin's eighth HBO special, taped on April 24 and 25, 1992, at the Paramount Theater, on the grounds of Madison Square Garden in New York City. Topics include the recently ended Persian Gulf War, similarities and differences among average Americans, language used at airports and more.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Nothing new here.
- By J. Miller on 03-06-13
By: George Carlin
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FM & AM
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 50 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 31
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18
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Story4 out of 5 stars 16
FM & AM found Carlin officially poking fun at, while incorporating, his early material, performed in the lounges of America and on The Ed Sullivan Show. It also marked Carlin's metamorphosis from straight-laced to hippie, as he intentionally embraced the growing counterculture. The recording is divided into two separate manifestations of humor, making it a sort of comedy concept album.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Some of his best
- By Desdinova on 03-12-11
By: George Carlin
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Playin' With Your Head
- By: George Carlin
- Length: 47 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 25
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 17
George's lighthearted routines and less topical issues complement his overwhelming timing in this classic album. Taken from his performance at the Beverly Theatre in Los Angeles in May 1986, George offers some of his hilarious examinations of "Losing Things" and "You're Lost": "That's the first thing that happens when you get to Heaven," he says. "They give you back everything you ever lost".
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5 out of 5 stars
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Never get enough of him
- By Kim on 07-06-09
By: George Carlin
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Seven Dirty Words
- The Life and Crimes of George Carlin
- By: James Sullivan
- Narrated by: Alan Sklar
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 153
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 126
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Story4 out of 5 stars 128
In Seven Dirty Words, journalist and cultural critic James Sullivan tells the story of Alternative America from the 1950s to the present, from the singular vantage point of George Carlin, the Catholic boy for whom nothing was sacred.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Carlin's CV with no Depth or Insight
- By Dubi on 01-23-14
By: James Sullivan
What listeners say about You Are All Diseased
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- RIP IT UP!
- 11-10-17
another classic Carlin
will never cease to amaze and get you questioning everything. we miss you George. thank you
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 05-08-21
This Taping Is Amazing
Great recording, and you’ll be sure to remember it. But this is all on YouTube. Look it up.
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Overall1 out of 5 stars
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Performance1 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Carol Martorelli
- 01-16-18
Disappointed
Always loved George but not this time. Usually funny because it's relatable but this was nothing more than vulgar anger.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story1 out of 5 stars
- Ramon
- 09-17-23
Disappointing
I expected a more witty performance it was overall just too angry for my humor
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