Workout You Old F--ker 2021
This Means You
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Workout You Old F--ker 2021
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Narrated by:
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Ron Fitzwater
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By:
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Elizabeth Bach
About this listen
If you’re looking for a workout book that is going to be sweet and kind, then this book isn’t for you!
If you don’t like swearing, this book isn’t for you!
If you are a lazy ass, this book isn’t for you!
If you’re a procrastinator, then this book isn’t for you!
If you are depressed, just go and end your ass because you are sucking the life force out of each person you encounter!
If you’re going to nitpick each and every word and hammer me on spelling and punctuation or rate this book a one, go and f--k yourself! You’re a spineless douchebag hiding behind a keyboard. You think your God’s gift to mankind, and I got news for you - you suck balls!
This book is not that six-minute workout two times a day! That is the stupidest shit I have ever heard of in my life! You must be so f--king out of shape, it’s sickening! You either got this book because it’s your last straw, or it was given to you as a gift for your fat lazy ass! In any event, I’m here talking to you from the grave.
My name is Dimitrion Yordanidis, and I ran a 26-mile marathon at 98 years old; just google it! I did it in seven hours and 33 minutes! Not bad for an old f--ker! While I ran the marathon, I drank three beers and smoked three cigarettes! But I'm not here to talk about me, I'm here to talk about you!
Whether you picked this book out or it was given as a gag gift, I'm going to kick you're ass into shape! This book will work!
©2021 Elizabeth Bach (P)2021 Elizabeth BachListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 37
With his historic win at the 2014 Boston Marathon, Meb Keflezighi cemented his legacy as one of the great champions of long-distance running. Runners everywhere wanted to know how someone two weeks away from his 39th birthday, who had only the 15th best time going into the race, could defeat the best field in Boston Marathon history and become the first American man to win the race in 31 years. Meb for Mortals describes in unprecedented detail how four-time Olympian Keflezighi prepares to take on the best runners in the world.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Better in print - not really an audio book
- By Belinda A. on 05-12-20
By: Meb Keflezighi, and others
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The Nerdist Way
- How to Reach the Next Level (In Real Life)
- By: Chris Hardwick
- Narrated by: Chris Hardwick
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,100
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,931
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,923
Nerds: Once a tormented subrace of humans... Now captains of industry! You don’t have to be a stereotypical geekwad to appreciate the tenets of Nerdism and to make your innate talents for overanalysis and hyper-self-awareness work for you instead of against you. Join Nerd superstar Chris Hardwick as he offers his fellow “creative-obsessives” the crucial information needed to come out on top in the current Nerd uprising. Success is the most satisfying - and legal - form of vengeance there is. And you can achieve it when you follow the Nerdist Way,
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5 out of 5 stars
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I'm a disciple of The Nerdist Way!!
- By Heather on 07-02-14
By: Chris Hardwick
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Triathlon for the Every Woman
- You Can Be a Triathlete. Yes. You.
- By: Meredith Atwood
- Narrated by: Meredith Atwood
- Length: 9 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 93
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 79
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Story5 out of 5 stars 77
When Meredith Atwood first shared her journey from tired, overworked wife and mom to successful triathlete, her story resonated with women everywhere, online at SwimBikeMom.com and in the first edition of Triathlon for the Every Woman. Now with her own IRONMAN finishes, experience, and triathlon coaching expertise, Meredith is back with even more wisdom.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun and engaging
- By DK on 04-25-24
By: Meredith Atwood
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OUTPERFORM THE NORM for Triathlon
- The 50 Best Tips EVER for Swimming, Biking and Running
- By: Scott Welle
- Narrated by: Scott Welle
- Length: 3 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 112
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 92
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Story4 out of 5 stars 91
Triathlon has changed my life and I've been privileged to coach 50+ athletes to a 98% PR rate in races ranging from 5Ks to ultra marathons to Ironmans. I've done it through my own trial and error and experiences in what works...and what doesn't. Rest assured - there are a handful of simple, yet essential, tips in triathlon that will make or break your success in the sport.
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3 out of 5 stars
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what's so funny?
- By skydivingrhino on 05-15-15
By: Scott Welle
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The Fitness Mindset
- Eat for Energy, Train for Tension, Manage Your Mindset, Reap the Results
- By: Brian Keane
- Narrated by: Brian Keane
- Length: 3 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 219
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 189
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 189
How would it feel to have the body you've always wanted, a huge boost in energy, and the mindset to keep it forever? Have you ever felt frustrated about not getting the results you want? Do you feel you are eating the right foods and doing the correct workouts but your body still isn't changing as quickly as you want? Are you grinding through your workday with low energy levels, praying for the next day off so you can sleep in?
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2 out of 5 stars
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A lot of bunk science
- By colin on 04-15-21
By: Brian Keane
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Do Life
- The Creator of "My 120-Pound Journey" Shows How to Run Better, Go Farther, and Find Happiness
- By: Ben Davis, Kara Goucher - foreword
- Narrated by: Jonny Loquasto
- Length: 4 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
At the age of 22, Ben Davis weighed over 360 pounds. Depressed, addicted to food, and morbidly obese, he thought he’d lost all hope. But after a Christmas Eve conversation with his grandmother, Ben promised himself that he would finally take control of his life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Inspiring
- By Debbie on 10-06-15
By: Ben Davis, and others
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The Cool Impossible
- The Coach from "Born to Run" Shows How to Get the Most from Your Miles - and from Yourself
- By: Eric Orton
- Narrated by: Nick Cordero
- Length: 5 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 248
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 213
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Story4 out of 5 stars 213
Featured in the best-selling book Born to Run, coach and performance guru Eric Orton has spent a lifetime learning and thinking about running and about the limitless possibilities of the human body and mind. In The Cool Impossible, Orton shares his wealth of knowledge in an inspiring step-by-step guide that will open up a new world of achievement for runners of all levels of ability and experience. The truth is: Athleticism is awareness. That simple phrase is at the core of The Cool Impossible.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Inadequate in Audio Format. No supplement offered.
- By Crystal West on 06-20-14
By: Eric Orton
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Spartan Up!
- A Take-No-Prisoners Guide to Overcoming Obstacles and Achieving Peak Performance in Life
- By: Jeff O'Connell, Joe De Sena
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,404
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,253
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,249
Twenty-six point two miles isn’t enough anymore. Obstacle course racing, which combines the endurance challenges of a marathon with the mind-bending rigors of overcoming obstacles along the way, is taking the world by storm. At the center of this phenomenon is Joe De Sena, the driving force behind the enormously popular Spartan Race. De Sena offers a simple philosophy: commit to a goal, put in the work, and get it done.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A different type of mindset
- By Barbara on 02-02-15
By: Jeff O'Connell, and others
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Triathlon for Beginners
- Everything You Need to Know About Training, Nutrition, Kit, Motivation, Racing, and Much More
- By: Dan Golding
- Narrated by: John Gagnepain
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 197
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 164
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 164
Triathlon for Beginners is a complete start-to-finish guide that covers all areas of training and racing, including what you need to know and how to begin; how to understand the jargon of the sport; training rules and techniques; swimming, cycling, and running techniques; race etiquette; and how to get faster and better performances.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great first book
- By Soren on 07-11-16
By: Dan Golding
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Triathlon: Winning at 70.3
- How to Dominate the Middle Distance
- By: Dan Golding
- Narrated by: John Gagnepain
- Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 112
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 86
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 86
Triathlon: Winning at 70.3 is dedicated to all triathletes who are thinking about stepping up to the middle distance. 70.3 Half Ironman training requires quite a different approach to the shorter distances, and to be successful, a more professional approach to training is required. Do not set yourself up for failure on race day! Simply doubling your Olympic distance training will not work. Those who do this will struggle. Do not be one of these! 70.3 triathlon is a serious step up and preparation is key.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not for Audible
- By jim stratford on 03-17-19
By: Dan Golding
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PUSH
- 30 Days to Turbocharged Habits, a Bangin' Body, and the Life You Deserve!
- By: Chalene Johnson
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance3.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 58
Let Chalene Johnson turbocharge your habits, your diet, and your life with the updated, enhanced edition of PUSH. With a brand new chapter, PUSH distills Charlene's hard-earned wisdom and expertise into a totally unique 30-day system that will help you reset your priorities, develop new habits, and lose weight for good.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Love the book
- By Jessica Steele on 08-20-17
By: Chalene Johnson