Why Fish Don't Exist

A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life

By: Lulu Miller

Narrated by: Lulu Miller

Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins

Publisher's summary

A Best Book of 2020:

• The Washington Post
• NPR
• Chicago Tribune
• Smithsonian

A "remarkable" (Los Angeles Times), "seductive" (The Wall Street Journal) debut from the new cohost of Radiolab, Why Fish Don’t Exist is a dark and astonishing tale of love, chaos, scientific obsession, and - possibly - even murder.​

"At one point, Miller dives into the ocean into a school of fish...comes up for air, and realizes she’s in love. That’s how I felt: Her book took me to strange depths I never imagined, and I was smitten." (The New York Times Book Review)

David Starr Jordan was a taxonomist, a man possessed with bringing order to the natural world. In time, he would be credited with discovering nearly a fifth of the fish known to humans in his day. But the more of the hidden blueprint of life he uncovered, the harder the universe seemed to try to thwart him. His specimen collections were demolished by lightning, by fire, and eventually by the 1906 San Francisco earthquake - which sent more than 1,000 discoveries, housed in fragile glass jars, plummeting to the floor. In an instant, his life’s work was shattered.

Many might have given up, given in to despair. But Jordan? He surveyed the wreckage at his feet, found the first fish that he recognized, and confidently began to rebuild his collection. And this time, he introduced one clever innovation that he believed would at last protect his work against the chaos of the world.

When NPR reporter Lulu Miller first heard this anecdote in passing, she took Jordan for a fool - a cautionary tale in hubris, or denial. But as her own life slowly unraveled, she began to wonder about him. Perhaps instead he was a model for how to go on when all seemed lost. What she would unearth about his life would transform her understanding of history, morality, and the world beneath her feet.

Part biography, part memoir, part scientific adventure, Why Fish Don’t Exist is a wondrous fable about how to persevere in a world where chaos will always prevail.

©2020 Lulu Miller (P)2020 Simon & Schuster Audio

Critic reviews

“Lulu Miller's friendly, curious voice braids together history, biography, and memoir. The former host of the NPR podcast 'Invisibilia' introduces listeners to taxonomist and former Stanford president David Starr Jordan, famous for his work classifying fish. Initially, Miller is inspired by Jordan because he personifies resilience after his life's work seems to have been destroyed by an earthquake. But she also uncovers his darker side while researching. Miller has a slightly husky down-to-earth voice, and her storytelling background in radio infuses her work. Her confident delivery is playful and comfortably paced, her narration engaging and easy on the ear. When Miller deals with subjects like depression and loss in her own life, it's especially meaningful knowing she's experienced the stories and insights she shares.” (AudioFile magazine)

"What a delightful book.... Ms. Miller wields [Radiolab’s] familiar format with panache, spinning a tale so seductive that I read her book in one sitting." (The Wall Street Journal)

"I want to live at this book’s address: the intersection of history and biology and wonder and failure and sheer human stubbornness. What a sumptuous, surprising, dark delight." (Carmen Maria Machado, author of Her Body and Other Parties)

I cherished every word

An amazing exploration of existential anxiety through the deconstruction of human conceptualization and the limits of science.

A great journey

Lulu is such an amazing writer. This easily could have been such a cut and dry biography about David Star Jordan, but she has a brilliant way with words and I so appreciate what she shared of her own story.

Resonance

Already a fan of Lulu Miller's radio work, I had high expectations. I was not disappointed. While listening, I discovered a way to verbalize how I have felt about what we do to control the chaos by placing our own value over the lives of the creatures we don't understand, and how difficult it has always been for me to just go along with it. As someone who struggles with her own nihilism, I needed this voice and these words in my life.

Perfect for our current mood

I reccomend! There is a lot of really interesting natural history intertwined with themes on love, existentialism, and science.

Unexpectedly fascinating read and a charming memoir

This is a book that I was ready to give up on after a few chapters. The life of David Star Jordan and his quest to order the universe seemed compelling. But did I want to learn the ins and outs of his marriages and fishing escapades? No. Nevertheless, I persisted. And it was absolutely worth it! So if you find yourself jaded by David’s story, carry on. The second part of the book is the real gem. Filled with subtly beautiful writing that connects the chaotic pieces of many different stories into one. I loved it.

Fish Don’t Exist

What an interesting journey to discover oneself. The title was a little odd but I had heard good things. It’s worth the trip for sure, but you may have some figuring out to do, about life and your own life, after you finish.

Brilliant -mind-expanding

What a dazzling work—mind-expanding! The detective and scientific components mingle brilliantly with philosophical musings. The author’s voice enriched this work by conveying her range of emotions as she uncovered more and more mysteries along her journey.

I am hopeful that I will look at the world a differently as a result of listening to this book—more fully and freshly.

Think in Other Categories

This is a wonderful book about, among other things, the tyranny of categories. It has all my favorite things - science, philosophy, politics, love stories, and a human sense of purpose. Appropriate to its message, the book itself defies category.

An utterly magnificent, life-giving masterpiece

What an absolute gift Lulu Miller has given to us. This book is wildly engaging; it will stimulate your brain and soul and remind you why being a human is wonderful because of its complexity. This story is so important, and Lulu Miller masterfully uses the history of David Star Jordan to not only educate us readers, but also to ask us to think critically about the planet we inhabit and the society we’ve created. What’s more, she reads it aloud HERSELF! I listened while on the train to work and every day I felt infinitely stimulated and comforted by her writing, the story, and her voice. It doesn’t get much better that this. Do not wait to listen to this book! It will transform you in the best, most meaningful ways.

I never wanted it to end

First of all the narration by the author was an absolute joy to listen to from beginning to end. I am completely captivated by this story. The sharp angles and turns made me wonder how we seamlessly ended up in a different time & place & with different characters- and then boom- it never lost its flow and it never lost me. There was order in the chaos. I'm smitten. I'm also left fulfilled, baffled, and blown away. This is so well written. For the first time I'm beyond speechless, clearly I could go on and on in praise. Hats off the the mish!