When Friendship Hurts

How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You

By: Jan Yager Ph.D.

Narrated by: Tanya Eby

We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help.

In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them. In this straightforward, illuminating book filled with dozens of quizzes and real-life examples, Yager covers all the bases, including:

• The 21 types of negative friends - a rogues’ gallery featuring such familiar types as the Blood-Sucker, the Fault-Finder, the Promise Breaker, and the Copycat
• How to recognize destructive friends as well as how to find ideal ones
• The email effect - how electronic communication has changed friendships for both the better and the worse
• The misuse of friendship at work - how to deal with a co-worker’s lies, deceit, or attempts at revenge
• How to stop obsessing about a failed friendship
• And much more

The first highly prescriptive book to focus on the complexities of friendship, When Friendship Hurts demonstrates how, why, and when to let go of bad friends and how to develop the positive friendships that enrich our lives on every level. For everyone who has ever wondered about friends who betray, hurt, or reject them, this authoritative book provides invaluable insights and advice to resolve the problem once and for all.

©2012 Jan Yager (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

People Pleaser

Wow. This one hurt. Im going through a friendship right now which Im not sure if I should end even after this. She didn’t talk to me for 5 days then as soon as I finished the book she began talking to me again. But reading this book it made me realize that I was a people pleaser. I always want to make sure people are okay. This book is a really good eye opener and reading this book really hurt realizing I give too much but at the same time this book made me realize theres a possibility that I am/was being dramatic about wanting to end the friendship. This book really gives multiple views on everything. It is a hard book to listen to in one go though because its the type of book where “its a hard pill to swallow” overall it was good and if I was struggling with another friendship I would probably read it again to get more insight (and to realize im still a people pleaser)

Comforting and Applicable

This book has provided a lot of comfort for me while evaluating some of my closest relationships. It has also caused me to do a lot of self-reflection and self work. I feel like I have the tools I need to make healthier lasting relationships and salvage some of my closest, strained ones.

Great book but robotic narrator...

Informative and helpful book about friendship difficulties. This was just what I needed to deal with my friend who is self-absorbed and unavailable!

Good points

This is the first book that I book marked and made notes on and I’m a consistent reader/listener. This is the first book in my year of self development (2024)/ rediscovering myself.

Good Book

What did you love best about When Friendship Hurts?

The anecdotes shared from the author's experience as a researcher.

What about Tanya Eby’s performance did you like?

Good performance. At times, it could have done better with a few more pauses and breaks (especially in between topics)

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

NA

Any additional comments?

Audio books are perhaps best for fiction and self help that does not need to be referenced later.

Great bool!!

Really loved this book, and would reccomend it to anyone struggling with friendships and has questions about what is healthy and what is not. so much useful information here. I will listen to it again!!

Great help

This is very insightful. It’s basically affirming everything. I already knew that the friendship I have is extremely toxic and needs to end it basically over already. I just need to accept it and just move on. But like stated it’s not that easy. I really regret now not having more than just the one friend because now I have nobody. And that’s one reason why I’ve continued to accept what little bit of friendship this person has been willing to offer. this book has however helped me realize that once I cut off this friendship it’ll open up the possibility of many more friendships, so will be a lot healthier

Boring and patronizing

Awful. Don’t waste your time. Unless you’re a 10 year old trying to learn about friends, you don’t need this book. At all.