What the Hell
Preternatural Chronicles, Book 5
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Narrated by:
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Luke Daniels
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By:
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Hunter Blain
About this listen
Baptisms can be fun...unless an old pal changes the water to pure sin right before John goes chunky-dunking.
Ok. That was mean. You’re not chunky, John. You’re...dad-bod chic. Stop crying, you big baby. It was a compliment!
Anyway...
In the last place John ever thought he would find himself, he discovers the scrolls of the prophecy that has haunted him for centuries.
Armed only with the celestial key provided by the Archangel Gabriel, John must travel to hell - where no creature of heaven can follow - to unlock a box that no denizen of hell can open. Talk about a paradox....
Only an abomination can travel below, and all of creation urgently needs to learn the truth of their fate, as it had been foretold long ago.
To make matters worse, our antihero must find a way to free his friend’s soul from an eternity of unbearable anguish...from a place no one has ever escaped. At least Samael hadn’t been setting up a trap when John rescued his brother from the mouth of madness...right?
Guys? Am I right?
Oh. Well...crap.
These demons, man. Can’t trust them at all. They are the absolute worst.
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,503
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,335
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,330
Out of the smoldering ruins of the war in heaven Archangels Raphael and Michael cannot believe the agreement made between God and his morning star, Lucifer. Unwilling to either destroy the fallen angel or leave him with a free hand upon the world, God sets in motion a struggle that will span the millennia from creation to present day. Two Sentinels are invested with the ability to bend the laws of creation to their will and each represents the primal forces of order and chaos.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A New Type of Super Hero - Most Excellent!!!
- By Midwestbonsai on 10-05-18
By: Robert W. Ross
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Storm Front
- The Dresden Files, Book 1
- By: Jim Butcher
- Narrated by: James Marsters
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 56,461
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49,357
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 49,275
A call from a distraught wife, and another from Lt. Murphy of the Chicago PD Special Investigation Unit makes Harry believe things are looking up, but they are about to get worse, much worse. Someone is harnessing immense supernatural forces to commit a series of grisly murders. Someone has violated the first law of magic: Thou Shalt Not Kill. Tracking that someone takes Harry into the dangerous underbelly of Chicago, from mobsters to vampires....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Excellent Story, Distracting Sound Engineering
- By Tom on 05-20-10
By: Jim Butcher
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The Archangel: An Azrael Story
- The Soul Summoner Companion Stories, Book 3
- By: Elicia Hyder
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 2 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 61
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 56
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 56
The Archangel of Death is the master of taking human life. But keeping mortals alive? Not exactly Azrael's forte. For thousands of years, Azrael’s greatest enemy has been silent. Leaving him in relative peace for the first time since the great angel war. Now that silence has been broken, and the Morning Star has returned with a dangerous ultimatum: Azrael can join, or watch everything he loves be destroyed. Two lives hang in the balance - Azrael’s beloved human wife, Nadine, and their unborn, part-angel son...Warren.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Phenomenal!
- By Sam on 04-02-20
By: Elicia Hyder
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Resurrection of the Damned
- War of the Damned, Book 1
- By: Michael Todd, Michael Anderle, Laurie Starkey
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 34
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Story5 out of 5 stars 33
In a world invaded by demons, it's up to Katie and her Killers to restore order while also evading enemies - and friends - who want her in the worst way.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Totally Spoiled Storyline
- By Linda Luella on 01-03-20
By: Michael Todd, and others
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Keeper
- By: Kim Chance
- Narrated by: Katie Schorr
- Length: 9 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 36
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
When a 200-year-old witch attacks her, 16-year-old bookworm Lainey Styles is determined to find a logical explanation. Even with the impossible staring her in the face, Lainey refuses to believe it - until she finds a photograph linking the witch to her dead mother. After consulting a psychic, Lainey discovers that she, like her mother, is a Keeper: a witch with the exclusive ability to unlock and wield the Grimoire, a dangerous but powerful spell book. But there’s a problem.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Bland
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 05-25-23
By: Kim Chance
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Hero Forged
- Ethereal Earth, Book 1
- By: Josh Erikson
- Narrated by: Josh Erikson
- Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,266
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,105
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,098
Gabriel Delling might call himself a professional con artist, but when walking superstitions start trying to bite his face off, his charm is shockingly unhelpful. It turns out living nightmares almost never appreciate a good joke. Together with a succubus who insists on constantly saving his life, Gabe desperately tries to survive a new reality that suddenly features demons, legends, and a giant locust named Dale - all of whom pretty much hate his guts. And when an ancient horror comes hunting for a spirit locked in his head, Gabe finds himself faced with the excruciating choice between death...or becoming some kind of freaking hero.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Surprisingly Good
- By Steelgator on 07-21-18
By: Josh Erikson
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Shadowborne
- The Relics of Antiquity, Book 1
- By: Matthew Callahan
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 389
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 355
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Story4 out of 5 stars 354
The Shadowborne had always fascinated Will. His grandfather's stories told of mythical warriors wielding dark, ancient magic, defending justice and battling dragons. But that's all they were, bedtime stories...until the Shadows embraced Will himself. Now, propelled from the normal world into the mythical realm of Aeril, Will must learn to control his newfound power while discovering his place in this strange, new world.
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2 out of 5 stars
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don't recommend
- By sam on 04-17-22
By: Matthew Callahan
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Penumbra
- Darkling Mage
- By: Nazri Noor
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 2 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 12
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 12
Dustin Graves was a jack of all trades, a directionless dreamer until the day he found his purpose: as a ritual sacrifice. Transformed in death, Dust awakens to the eldritch mysteries behind the grit and glamor of the city of Valero – and to the wellspring of dark magic that lives inside his very bones.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Performances
- By Joshua Cole on 02-20-25
By: Nazri Noor
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The Scarlet Dragon Saga, Books 1-3
- An Urban Fantasy Adventure
- By: J.P. Rice
- Narrated by: Liz Brand
- Length: 19 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 48
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Story4 out of 5 stars 43
The slumbering dragon has awakened. Ten years ago in a demonic underworld, my enemies almost killed me. With the help of a disguised demon serving his own agenda, I survived. Barely...After a decade off the supernatural grid, I needed to sip from Goibniu's Chalice of Agelessness to restore my eternal youth. What started as a quick trip changed dramatically when Goibniu uttered those two magic words...Retirement was fun while it lasted.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Good Series
- By Daniel Delgado on 04-23-20
By: J.P. Rice
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Collecting the Goddess
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 17 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 57
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 48
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
What is a billionaire heiress supposed to do when all of her older siblings take to business like her parents, proving that business is in their blood. But not hers? There are many good choices. Unfortunately, Chloe decided that partying was the right one. Now, to keep her money, she’s required to attend daily meetings with the family psychologist - daily meetings about how she must change her present to change her future.
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4 out of 5 stars
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ugh
- By Marie on 07-09-20
By: Michael Anderle
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Dangerous Beauty
- Dangerous Beauty, Book 1
- By: J.T. Geissinger
- Narrated by: Aiden Snow, Lidia Dornet
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 771
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 707
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 705
For Nasir, former Special Ops military man and bodyguard, his new job seems like an easy-money gig: Trail a Russian mobster’s runaway wife in Mexico, enjoy the sun, observe, and report. Just one rule: Don’t get too close. But it’s all Naz can do not to watch the alluring dancer’s every move. A closer look is irresistible - especially when she’s in trouble.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Action and Romance!
- By Melanie on 04-15-19
By: J.T. Geissinger
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Breaking Gods
- Godbreaker, Book 1
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,857
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,697
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,696
In the beginning, the gods destroyed the world. Five hundred years later, things haven’t gotten much better for humans. The demigods that were left behind to guard over humanity have been using them as fodder for an endless civil war between themselves, and the humans just go on dutifully slaughtering each other, battle after battle. It’s not all bad, though. Perry McGown makes his living off those bloody, stinking battlefields. He works on a crew that reclaims all the spent shell casings. But if anyone found out that he was a deserter from the war, he’d be executed for heresy.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Why does the author make it so hard to like the main character
- By Teressa Vanda on 10-02-19
By: D. J. Molles
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Blood Mage
- By: Logan Jacobs
- Narrated by: Rebecca Woods, Daniel Wisniewski
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 262
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 240
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 239
Milton was your average delivery driver until he had a run in with a dying fairy who imbued him with all his magical power. Now Milton can literally tear the blood out of his enemies with a gesture of his hand, every women he meets is attracted to his magical charm, and the powerful Fae Guild wants to pay him a bunch of money to fight evil.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Are you computer literate? be prepared for cringe!
- By David on 01-27-20
By: Logan Jacobs
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Dragon Oracle Omnibus
- Dragon Oracle, Book 1-3
- By: Jada Fisher
- Narrated by: Christine Lakin
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 69
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 69
Davie is a normal girl trying to live a normal life. Except that she can see the future and has visions that make her seem crazy. When she meets a man who immediately seems too perfect to be real, her quest for a normal life quickly ends. She soon learns the world is full of mythical creatures including shape-shifting dragons, dwarves, and mystical oracles. Can Davie adapt to the new world that has dropped her into the middle of a mythical war that could tear the world apart?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Not a reverse harem!
- By BrandyDalton on 11-23-20
By: Jada Fisher
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Three Deadly Trials
- Battle for the Dark King, Book 1
- By: V. S. Winters
- Narrated by: Hollie Whitmore, Robert Kelly
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 289
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 264
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Story4 out of 5 stars 265
Fae exist only in children’s stories, or so I thought. That was before a nightmarish creature of the Fae Realm dropped into my life. He claimed a seven-pointed mark on my skin signified my magical lineage, the bit of DNA my mother passed down. Days after I arrive in the Fae Realm, I’m thrown into a series of trials titled ‘The Devotion’. I must compete with demons, vampires, elves and more who want to claim their place at the future King’s side. I have no interest in this guy, but it doesn’t help that the King-to-be is a gorgeous, brooding fae.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Much potential in the storyline, falls flat and leaves you unsatisfied
- By tammie on 08-04-20
By: V. S. Winters
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The Lost Elemental
- Royals of Kingwood Academy, Book 1
- By: Tessa Hale
- Narrated by: Aletha George
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 276
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 268
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 268
It was supposed to be simple. All of that changed in a single breath. Because it turns out I'm not human. And I just knocked out the power on an entire city block. In a split second, all of my carefully-laid plans go up in smoke. There's no chance for college because I'm being hauled off to Kingwood Academy. They say it's for my own protection and those around me. But I know one thing for sure . . . I'm not welcome here.
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5 out of 5 stars
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One of the cutest heartfelt paranormal romance books I've heard all year
- By Anonymous User on 07-07-24
By: Tessa Hale
What listeners say about What the Hell
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- PilotMatt
- 12-17-20
Best narrator and amazing series
Again Hunter Blain writes an amazing book read by the best narrator. So far this is one of the best books in the series.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- ScretSquirrl
- 12-22-20
Cliffhanger ahead
I normally do not like cliffhangers, but I couldn't help myself. Once again, I am sucked into the wonderful, snarky world that Hunter Blaine has created. Book 6 is out and on my kindle, however my brain doesn't bring the characters to life like Luke Daniels can. But I don't know when this audio version will be released, and I can't stand the suspense!!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Nathan
- 04-17-23
Heartfelt and Horrifying
I love Hunter’s writing and Luke’s reading. Extremely graphic to listen to or read on your own. The books are no doubt addicting and can’t wait to follow John wherever he goes. An excellent continuation and of course enjoyable, as per usual with this series. Fun and heartbreaking, silly and serious. Love ‘em. -Katy L
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Daniel wilson
- 03-31-23
Still a great story.
Still enjoying the storyline , lots of interesting things going on , can't wait to start the next book
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sam
- 03-06-25
great
these books are getting sad. and ending that way. but still soooo good. I love that the author is now adding luke Daniel's to his stories. hilarious. John just forever breaking the wall. the jokes are never ending and they make laugh out loud, hard. but jokes aside, I feel so emotional for the main character!!! I know he's based off a real person, but omg he was written to be so well. I enjoy these books so much. and right when I get excited and feel a win, boom. some villian said not today. great great books
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Brahmabull5
- 02-24-21
magnificent!
the story is very well written and entertaining. and the narrator is one of my favorites now! he is amazing!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tara R
- 11-22-20
Another homerun
The best thing about this series is that you can read it when it comes out, get excited, laugh out loud, and cry when a beloved character gets hurt. And then the audiobook comes out. Luke Daniels narrates and every emotion you felt while reading is multiplied a thousand times. To say this series is awesome is a major understatement. The action is there. the characters are well defined. the fight scenes are graphic so fair warning. Can't wait to hear the next one
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sirelle
- 06-04-21
This book hits like a brick to the teeth
What the hell man I’m a 38 year old man and this book literally had tears welling up in my eyes over that little 5 year old girl and how hard it hit John and also laughing my ass off
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- C.T.
- 11-14-20
Fangtastic storyline and narration
WHAT THE HELL by Hunter Blain is the fifth novel in the Preternatural Chronicles. The vampire John Cook must make a harrowing journey through Hell in order to find the Scrolls of Prophecy that will tell him how the apocalypse will play out. He must also try to rescue one of his friends that died before he was able to redeem himself. Unfortunately, John utterly bungles this feat and ends up making things much worse for everyone involved. Lots of twists and turns in this volume along with a few genuine tragedies. It may be my favorite story in the series so far.
Luke Daniels did a fantastic job here and I have to give him credit for bringing John Cook as well as his opponents alive. I don't think the books would be nearly as good (but still very entertaining) without his signature style. i can't wait for the next installment.
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3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- breauna
- 09-23-23
Wow what a range!
I love combo stories with intelligence mixed throughout, love this! Multiple pantheons and a narrator with an unbelievable range.
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