What Doesn't Kill You

A Life with Chronic Illness - Lessons from a Body in Revolt

By: Tessa Miller

Narrated by: Tessa Miller

A riveting and candid account of a young journalist's awakening to a life of chronic illness, weaving together her personal story with reporting to shed light on how Americans live with long-term diagnoses today.

Tessa Miller was an ambitious 20-something writer in New York City when, on a random fall day, her stomach began to seize up. At first, she tried to push through the searing pain, taking time off work and staying home, glued to the toilet. But when it became glaringly apparent something was wrong, Miller gave in to her family's requests and went to the hospital - and thus started a years-long personal nightmare that included procedures, misdiagnoses, and life-threatening infections. Once Miller was finally correctly diagnosed with Crohn's disease, she had yet another new battle to face: accepting that she will, in truth, never get better.

Today, three in five adults in the United States suffer from a chronic ailment, whether the illness is endometriosis, IBD, IBS, Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, asthma, depression, anxiety, diabetes, or any other chronic ailment. However, despite the prevalence of these illnesses and the impact they have on just about everyone - whether the sufferer is a colleague, a loved one, or you personally - there remains an air of shame and isolation around the topic. Millions endure these diseases alone, not only physically but also emotionally, balancing the stress of relationships and work amidst the ever-looming threat of health complications.

Moving from Miller's maddening yet all too relatable experience into a deeper look at how the medical community handles chronic illness, What Doesn't Kill You exposes the realities of what it means to accept a lifetime diagnosis, pushing past the good, the bad, and the ugly to offer wisdom and solidarity for those trying to make sense of it all.

This audiobook includes a PDF of resources from the appendix of the book.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Tessa Miller (P)2021 Random House Audio

Wonderful Book

I have been dealing with a chronic illness which has brought me to my knees for the past four year’s.Multiple surgeries,doctors and medications with life changing side effects.
This book gave me some peace. I so enjoyed listening to it, I could identify with everything the author talked about. I realize how lucky I am to have a wonderful supportive family and friends that are always there for me.

Enlightening, funny, emotional. Like listening to a friend.

This book contains enough personal context to read like a novel, but as much information as a self help book. She reminds us of the absolute grit living with chronic illness involves, while making you laugh and learn to be better. I couldn’t put it down. I appreciated her inclusive language and recognition of systemic racism, classism, and sexism as well. Thank you for this book Tessa Miller!

living with crohn’s disease

Great job, Tessa! Tessa provides a touching, intimate, and at time bold accounting of her experience with crohn’s disease. I enjoyed and appreciated the opportunity to learn what living with crohn’s is like. as a care taker of loved ones wrestling with a different form of chronic disease (tick-borne diseases), i identified with many of the themes Tessa described, but felt at times Tessa might have tried to generalize too much based on her personal experience. Tessa suffers from a disease that conventional medicine acknowledges — at least enough to put a name on the group of symptoms. The fact that there are ‘medicines’ that hold some promise for managing crohn’s results in Tessa dismissing non conventional therapies — including whole foods based nutrient-dense diet (e.g. paleo) supported by the functional medicine community to optimally support the immune system when no other magic pill/medication is available. Such chronic illnesses (e.g., Lyme) are not acknowledged or offered effective conventional treatment to manage conditions. Tessa alluded appropriately to gaslighting — when doctors (and others) dismiss your reality and infer that it’s all in your head. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand how hard it is to live with crohn’s disease — an important segment of the chronic community. Everyone is similar but different. Every person with the same disease is similar but different. Every person with a different chronic illness is similar but even more different. Thank-you for the book Tessa.

Excellent Illness Memoir

This book is a powerful combination of personal narrative, commentary on the nightmare of the American medical and insurance systems, and well-informed acknowledgment of the unequal ways chronic illness falls on different bodies. The whole thing is terrifying and tenderly written.

Glad I don't have Crohn's disease

This book consists of two parts. First there is the memoir, which is well-written and enlightening in terms of its depiction of a very nasty chronic illness and its complications. I really learned to appreciate the difficult life of dealing with Crohn's, and, having listened to this, I have greater compassion towards people with this and similar illnesses. I have chronic illness as well, but it's nowhere near as challenging. Still, there was much I could relate to. Of course, if I did have Crohn's and since I've mostly not had insurance in my life, I likely wouldn't be writing this now.
The second part of the book is the journalistic part where the author basically explains everything you need to know when living with such an illness, from insurance info, to relating to friends and family, to expectations of a good doctor, to even what to expect sexually, and more. It's very complete and a great reference, though I think the good doctor part has pretty high expectations, not realizable where I live. This second aspect of the book seems to take up most of the listening time, so that's something to be aware of going in. Seems like it could have been a second book. Definitely recommended.

READ THE BOOK

I have never felt more heard, seen, not alone valued, and understood in my entire life. Living with chronic illness is hard living with a family who is not chronically ill doesn’t make it easier. Tessa outlines everything that I feel every day and have felt throughout my whole life anymore. She makes me feel as though I am not alone and as though she’s reading this book, we’re chatting over coffee, and like she thoroughly gets it because she does. She lives what I live every day. It’s so nice to know that I can give this book to my friends and my family, and they can listen to it and understand more than I’d be able to put into words myself. Well, she was saying it in a much more excellent way than I probably would. It was beautifully written, beautifully spoken, and beautifully read. I wish I could give this more stars.

Validation

Thank you for sharing your story, I somehow feel understood… maybe it’s just for me right now.
I cried a lot listening to your story so much I could feel and relate to. I will continue to hope that there will be more understanding of chronic illness, not just from the medical community but also from family and friends…. Maybe one day they will believe. Thank you again for your courage to share Tessa . 💕

thank you!

I don't have the words. all I have is my gratitude to give. Thank you for being my voice ❤️

Relatable and profound

I loved her story and related to it so much. I have the kind of “invisible” (for the moment) crohn’s that causes me a lot of pain, money, sleep, shame, and worry, but that other people can’t usually see. It was so meaningful for me to hear this experience reflected. The way she wrote about grieving your body as a young person who has just learned that you’ll never get better really helped me understand my experience. I’m lucky in many ways, and that has sometimes made me feel guilty about all the ways I’m angry at my diagnosis. And to everyone saying she “didn’t need to get political” about the American healthcare system . . . grow up, and listen.
Thank you for this book!

Greatful

This book hit home and reinforced what I was taught by my mother, g-d rest her sole, who also suffered from chronic illness. This helped me get through a time of understanding and need to your story and what you went through is so similar to me. Thank you for this book. It has help me and so many more, I’m sure. G-d bless you.