This Body I Wore

A Memoir

By: Diana Goetsch

Narrated by: Diana Goetsch

Long before Laverne Cox appeared on the cover of Time, far removed from drag and ballroom culture, there were countless trans women living and dying as men, most of whom didn't even know they were trans. Diana Goetsch's This Body I Wore chronicles one woman's long journey to coming out, a path that runs parallel to the emergence of the trans community over the past several decades.

"How can you spend your life face-to-face with an essential truth about yourself and still not see it?" This is a question often asked of trans people, and a question that Goetsch, an award-winning poet and essayist, addresses with the power and complexity of lived reality. She brings us into her childhood, her time as a dynamic and beloved teacher at Stuyvesant High School, and her plunge into the crossdressing subculture of New York in the 1980s and '90s. Under cover of night, crossdressers risked their jobs and their safety to give expression to urges they could neither control nor understand. Many of them would become late transitioners, the Cinderellas of the trans community largely ignored by history.

Goetsch has not written a transition memoir, but rather a full account of a trans life, one both unusually public and closeted. All too often trans lives are reduced to before-and-after photos, but what if that before photo lasted fifty years?

©2022 Diana Goetsch (P)2022 Tantor

Stunning

Beautiful personal story. From growing up on Long Island, to the 80s and 90s in NYC. Hearing about Diana’s fulfillment of her female-self from her own voice was moving and beautiful. I will miss having her in my ear.

Perfect

This book is like feeling around in the dark for a light switch, and then finding it and turning it on, letting your eyes adjust. Totally engrossing, complicated and wise, beautifully narrated. I loved it.

A unique perspective, but frustratingly organized by every gf she ever had

This told a very unique perspective from a trans woman who came out later in life, not just to others but also herself. The perspective is unique and interesting but most of the memoir is organized by each successive girlfriend she ever had. It’s still varied and interesting for most of it but grows redundant after a while and I began to wonder when she was going to get to the point.

One thing I was uncomfortable with and that I think is important to note here- The author, a white woman, repeatedly quotes some of her Black students, using the n-word several times. It was very uncomfortable to listen to and I had to take a break from the book for a bit after about the 4th n-word out of her mouth. It isn’t like this is an old audiobook so it’s surreal to me that Audible allowed it and that the author didn’t appear to receive or heed any guidance around not saying the word. It wouldn’t have been difficult to have Audible insert bleeps instead of having her say the word.

Beautiful, Tender, Fierce

This book touched me very deeply. I am humbled by the complexity of the human experience.

A giant leap in human history coming to learn more about itself

This book is a vital submission to the historical record of trans experience. The gifted author walks the reader alongside her journey, cataloging, and drawing intimate meaning from her life's relationships, stories, truiumphs, and bewilderments. With poetic artistry, you find that as she grows, you grow alongside her. Goetsch's writing style is sharp, clever, and entertaining while also being intimate and tender. Somehow, each page is like the slow expert turning of a key to her experience and wisdom, each passage being revealed as the reader became ready to receive it. By the time the novel is complete, I felt that I knew not only knew Goetsch, but my society and my own life and authenticity better.

This book is for readers interested in trans experience, love, sex, and US society. In particular, it shares the story of a person born and labeled male in the 60s but who can't figure out what isn't clicking for this label. Why can't they have successful relationships, love, and confidence in their sexuality and identity? Why do they feel immense pleasure and resonances wearing, and even just thinking about women's clothes? With limited community, culture, and understanding, matched with no uncertain antipathy from the broader society, she explores the margins of cross-dressing in a largely unsympathetic and insensitive LGB and straight world. But community does arise, clarity is found, and authenticity realized. But then what?... This isn't just a memoir, but a meditation on authenticity and the courage required to be a sexual being in the world.

I gave it five stars because it is smartly written and crafted, entertaining, and full of important wisdom and knowledge presented in a fresh and unexpected way.

Every transition is unique!

The places she was in the city while I was at different places was extremely interesting to me. She helped me imagine what my life might have been like if I had lived it differently back then in NYC. I’m very happy since my transition, and I e recommended her book to several parents of transgender children to help them understand the complex feelings of gender dysphoria and coming out in general.

Read beautifully! Amazing, smart and endearing individual.

The struggles of childhood is tough to read. Unfortunately, most people have hurtful memories. Author’s wonderful voice helps to acknowledge the sad times.

Brave but too much score settling

This was very effectively narrated by the author. It’s a compelling memoir but I thought she used her story to settle too many scores against her by those who had wronged him.

The struggle for and the affirmation of self.

Goetsch is a great storyteller and educator. Describing her journey in understandable and human terms, makes this a compelling & transformative book.