The Village Idiot Reviews
The Idiot Reviews, Book 1
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The Village Idiot Reviews
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Narrated by:
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Chris Dabbs
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By:
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Pete Sortwell
About this listen
Join Brian as he tries to woo the girl that works in the local shop; will passing out face down in super glue while trying to make her a gift hinder his chances of getting her to go out with him?
Will Father Frederick, an alcoholic vicar who has a slight issue with stalking, be able to win back the heart of a woman he loved a long time ago?
And will Ethel, who thinks that throwing hard rice instead of confetti in a bridegroom's face is an acceptable form of sport, be able to catch whichever one of these two losers in love with her trick as they step out of the church on the happy day?
Written entirely in the form of product reviews, we guarantee you've never heard a book quite like this before. Hilarious and wholly original, The Village Idiot Reviews pokes gentle fun at the more obscure corners of your favourite e-commerce sites - and introduces the most bonkers set of countryside dwellers since The Vicar of Dibley.
©2014 Pete Sortwell (P)2014 Pete SortwellListeners also enjoyed...
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See below 
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When street musician James Bowen found an injured cat curled up in the hallway of his apartment building, he had no idea how much his life was about to change. James was living hand to mouth on the streets of London, barely making enough money to feed himself - the last thing he needed was a pet. Yet, James couldn't resist helping the strikingly intelligent, but very sick animal, whom he named Bob. He slowly nursed Bob back to health and then sent the cat on his way, never imagining that he would see him again. But Bob had other ideas.
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Three Cheers for Bob and James!
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 345
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 343
If I'm going to tell the story of a life, my life, then I need to tell it warts and all. If the tale is too saccharine sweet then what can the reader take away from it? What do they learn about you? I've written everything down. The shit, the death, fun, naughtiness, addiction, laughter, laughter, laughter, some tears and lots of love and happiness. That, to me, is a better reflection of a human's life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 58
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Daft Wee Stories is Limmy’s first book. It is a collection of stories. There are short stories. There are longer stories. There are stupid stories. There are thoughtful stories. There are upside-down stories. There are normal-way-up stories. There are weird stories. There are less weird stories. There are really weird stories. There is nothing else like it. Have a listen.
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5 out of 5 stars
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It really works
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A childhood accident robbed Vinnie of his memories, making him sensitive and anxious, and his difference soon attracted bullies. If it wasn’t for his family and his brother, Frank, Vinnie wouldn’t have survived. But as the boys grow up, and after the devastating loss of their parents, Vinnie finds himself increasingly involved in violent situations whenever he’s with Frank. When Vinnie is accused of a terrible crime and looks set for a long stretch behind bars, fragments of his memory start to return and he begins to unravel his past.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Stirring and Disturbing
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In Alan Partridge: Nomad, Alan dons his boots, windcheater and scarf and embarks on an odyssey through a place he once knew - it's called Britain - intent on completing a journey of immense personal significance. Diarising his ramble in the form of a 'journey journal', Alan details the people and places he encounters, ruminates on matters large and small and, on a final leg fraught with danger, becomes not a man (because he was one to start off with) but a better, more inspiring example of a man.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Pointlessness is the point
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-
A Street Cat Named Bob
- And How He Saved My Life
- By: James Bowen
- Narrated by: Kristopher Milnes
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 950
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 869
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 865
When street musician James Bowen found an injured cat curled up in the hallway of his apartment building, he had no idea how much his life was about to change. James was living hand to mouth on the streets of London, barely making enough money to feed himself - the last thing he needed was a pet. Yet, James couldn't resist helping the strikingly intelligent, but very sick animal, whom he named Bob. He slowly nursed Bob back to health and then sent the cat on his way, never imagining that he would see him again. But Bob had other ideas.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Three Cheers for Bob and James!
- By Gillian on 01-27-14
By: James Bowen
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Love...From Both Sides
- Love…, Book 1
- By: Nick Spalding
- Narrated by: Heather Wilds, Napoleon Ryan
- Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 384
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 352
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 353
Sometimes, the hardest part of finding love is keeping a straight face...For Jamie Newman, being a single guy isn't proving to be much fun, especially when confronted with a sexually belligerent divorcee and a goddess so far out of his league she might as well be a different species.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Delightful and funny
- By Wayne on 08-06-15
By: Nick Spalding
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Hero: A Simon Serrailler Short Story
- By: Susan Hill
- Narrated by: Steven Pacey
- Length: 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 129
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 112
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Story4 out of 5 stars 111
When Simon Serrailler was a rookie constable with the Met, he did something reckless in the course of a night's work which caused a man's death. But his act was praised by his colleagues, and he was called a hero. Years later, now a detective chief superintendent who has been badly injured in the course of duty, he receives a medal for bravery at Buckingham Palace while recollecting that fateful night of his early career, when chance disguised itself as bravery.
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4 out of 5 stars
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This 'story' makes no sense to me
- By Pamela Donaldson on 05-10-17
By: Susan Hill
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The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13 3/4
- Adrian Mole, Book 1
- By: Sue Townsend
- Narrated by: Isaac Rouse
- Length: 4 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
Meet Adrian Mole, a hapless teenager providing an unabashed, pimples-and-all glimpse into adolescent life. Writing candidly about his parents' marital troubles, the dog, his life as a tortured poet and 'misunderstood intellectual', Adrian's painfully honest diary is still hilarious and compelling thirty years after it first appeared.
By: Sue Townsend
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Divorcing Jack
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Adam Moore
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 24
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 22
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Story4 out of 5 stars 22
Dan Starkey is a young journalist in Belfast, who shares with his wife, Patricia, a prodigious appetite for drinking and dancing. Then Dan meets a beautiful and apparently impoverished student. And then, terrifyingly, she is murdered. Is it because she was not exactly who she claimed to be? Is it the IRA? A Protestant extremist group? A jealous lover? Before long, Dan is a target himself.…
By: Colin Bateman
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A Gift from Bob
- How a Street Cat Helped One Man Learn the Meaning of Christmas
- By: James Bowen
- Narrated by: Kris Milnes
- Length: 3 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 33
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 28
In this poignant new story, A Gift from Bob, James Bowen recalls the last Christmas he was to spend on the streets, busking and selling the Big Issue with his cat Bob. In 2010, the weather was as bleak as his prospects. Christmas had always been the time he dreaded. Now at least he had Bob by his side, but his health was poor, and he had no money for food or warmth. There was no choice but to venture out onto the frozen streets to earn enough to pay for his electricity and - with luck - to afford some small treats for Christmas as well.
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4 out of 5 stars
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not as good as the first two books
- By Piano Teacher on 07-16-21
By: James Bowen
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Dear Fatty
- By: Dawn French
- Narrated by: Liza Tarbuck
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 376
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 293
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 293
With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French shows just how an RAF girl from the west country with dreams of becoming a ballerina/bridesmaid/thief rose to become one of the best-loved comedy actresses of our time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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If you like Dawn French - You will love this book!
- By Pamela on 01-22-09
By: Dawn French
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I Predict a Riot
- Murder, Extortion & Carrot Cake
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Adam Moore
- Length: 21 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 72
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 28
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Story4 out of 5 stars 28
Walter has a rubbish job, so has Margaret. But when they meet through a dating agency, neither is who they seem. Margaret's married for a start, and Walter's encounter with her husband, Billy, leaves him black and blue. Billy's a dodgy accountant for politician and racketeer Pink Harrison, who is about to come unstuck.
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5 out of 5 stars
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PICK ME PLEASE PICK ME WE'LL HAVE LOTS OF FUN
- By Louise on 10-19-08
By: Colin Bateman
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Wilde Like Me
- By: Louise Pentland
- Narrated by: Fiona Hardingham
- Length: 8 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 235
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 221
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Story4 out of 5 stars 222
Robin Wilde has a beautiful six-year-old daughter, a job she's really rather good at, a wonderful best friend and an auntie who is bonkers, yes, but loves her to the moon and back. But Robin has a secret. Behind the mask she carefully applies every day, she can't shift the grey, lonely feelings of The Emptiness. She struggles to fit in with the school mum crew, online dating is totally despair-inducing and she worries all the time about raising her daughter with self-confidence, courage and joy.
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2 out of 5 stars
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I wanted so badly to love this!
- By Robyn on 07-22-17
By: Louise Pentland
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The Guards
- By: Ken Bruen
- Narrated by: Gerry O'Brien
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 320
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 280
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Story4 out of 5 stars 280
Still stinging from his unceremonious ouster from the Garda Siochana, and staring at the world through the smoky bottom of his beer mug, Jack Taylor is stuck in Galway with nothing to look forward to. He is teetering on the brink of his life's sharpest edges, his memories of the past cutting deep into his soul and his prospects for the future non-existent.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This is literature, not just crime fiction
- By John on 08-09-13
By: Ken Bruen
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How Did All This Happen?
- By: John Bishop
- Narrated by: John Bishop
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
If you're a man of a certain age you'll know there comes a point in life when getting a sports car and over-analysing your contribution to society sounds like a really good idea. With a good job in sales and marketing and a nice house in Manchester that he shared with his wife and kids, John Bishop was no different when he turned the dreaded 4-0. But instead of spanking a load of cash on a car that would have made him look like a senior stylist at Vidal Sassoon, he stumbled onto a pathway that ultimately lead him to become one of the nation's best loved comedians.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Heartwarming and Funny
- By Nancy Burnett on 12-01-22
By: John Bishop
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Londoners: The Days and Nights of London Now - As Told by Those Who Love It, Hate It, Live It, Left It, and Long for It
- By: Craig Taylor
- Narrated by: Anna Bentinck, Stephen Crossley, Sartaj Garewell, and others
- Length: 14 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 46
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 38
Here are the voices of London - rich and poor, native and immigrant, women and men. From the woman whose voice announces the stations on the London Underground to the man who plants the trees along Oxford Street; from a Pakistani currency trader to a Guardsman at Buckingham Palace - together, these voices paint a vivid, epic and wholly fresh portrait of 21st Century London.
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5 out of 5 stars
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An interesting look at what makes London tick.
- By tim on 12-11-12
By: Craig Taylor
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Made in Scotland
- My Grand Adventures in a Wee Country
- By: Billy Connolly
- Narrated by: Gordon Kennedy
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 216
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 198
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 197
Billy Connolly may be a citizen of the world, but in his heart he's never been far from his homeland. Made in Scotland is Billy's unique and intimate portrait of his native Scotland, a love letter to the places and people that made him. It's an adventure inspired by a single incident: the moment Billy received his Knighthood and was asked, 'How does it feel to have achieved all this when you came from nothing?' His response was, 'But I did come from something!'
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1 out of 5 stars
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I can't believe I wasted a credit on this blather.
- By J. M. Popa on 01-23-20
By: Billy Connolly
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Lie in Wait
- By: G. J. Minett
- Narrated by: Joe Jameson
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 27
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 26
Owen Hall drives into a petrol station to let his passenger use the facilities. She never comes back - and what's more, it seems she never even made it inside. When Owen raises a fuss, the police are called - and soon identify Owen himself as a possible culprit, not least because they already have him in the frame for another more sinister crime. Owen's always been a little different, and before long others in the community are baying for his blood. But this is a case where nothing is as it seems - least of all Owen Hall....
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4 out of 5 stars
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LIE IN WAIT..
- By ZacharyKindle Customer on 08-06-17
By: G. J. Minett
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Things We Never Said
- By: Nick Alexander
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 70
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 58
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Story4 out of 5 stars 57
When Catherine learns that she is dying, she remembers the words her husband once jokingly uttered and decides to leave him the ultimate posthumous gift: a time capsule containing photographs of their life together along with tape recordings in which she recounts every secret she ever kept, every unspoken thought whether loving or treacherous - the things they never said.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Boring couple, Boring Book
- By Shell on 12-23-18
By: Nick Alexander
What listeners say about The Village Idiot Reviews
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- erobbins33
- 04-19-15
Hilarious!
I freaking love this book! I can't wait to listen to the sequel! Fans of "Brit-wit", and people who like to read reviews, will totally appreciate this compendium of reviews which, separately, are hilarious, and together, tell a story of a small village of very strange and funny people. The narrator totally nailed it. Love<3
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Kirsty
- 07-08-15
A good laugh
If you could sum up The Village Idiot Reviews in three words, what would they be?
Quick, amusing, and unique.
Any additional comments?
I really enjoy this review format. The stories are funny and connected so it really does tell a lengthy story. I had quite a good laugh while listening to them and can't wait to hear the sequel. The narrator is also great with some brilliant accents and characterisations being used.
I received a copy of this audiobook in exchange for an honest review.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Ku-hu
- 07-28-15
Laugh Out Loud! YES!
Any additional comments?
Funny! when some idiots buy stuff online what happened? this story tell you all about it over a year when some villagers tried to buy things online.
It is a light humor book!
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- DK
- 09-05-16
Fun Stuff...I'd Like It More If I Were British....
Any additional comments?
I adore Pete Sortwell's writing. I highly recommend:
Dating in the Dark
and Diary of the .... Father Series.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Deedra
- 04-15-15
The Village Idiot reviews Bk 1
Any additional comments?
This was a fun,fast 'read'.I liked it a lot!The narrator,Chris Dabbs was perfect for this project.I am looking forward to listening to the rest of the books by this author.I was gifted a copy for an honest review.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- Renee
- 05-10-15
Fictitious anecdotal product reviews
What a unique way of telling a story! The entire story is told via short anecdotes in the form of product reviews written by various characters who live in a small village. These reviews were humorous and not always using the product in the way it was intended. I didn't like any of the characters but I found it interesting to see how all the products fit together.
I listened to the audiobook edition which I received free in exchange for an honest review. Chris Dabbs did a fantastic job of narrating, speaking clearly and at a good pace. He used different voices for the different characters.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Terri
- 04-24-15
Totally hilarious!
This book is so funny, you will laugh your butt off or maybe fall down face first in something undesirable (lol). This book is about poking fun at village idiots. They do such dumb things it make you just want to say IDIOT!!! The funniest part to me was the penis pump, OMG and then there was the drunks. The guy who scraped his bed sheets was hilarious too.
The author, Pete Sortwell is genius in his materials. Listening to this book is like listening to a stand up comic or at the very least, one who has been drinking (pun intended). The narrator, Chris Dabbs did a good job expressing the authors intent in the tons of laughs. If you are feeling down and need a pick me up or just want something to start a party off, this would be it!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- DonJon
- 08-15-15
Not funny at all
This is probably the saddest attempt at humour I have been subjected to. A complete waste of money and time.
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