The Sex Talk You Never Got

Reclaiming the Heart of Masculine Sexuality

By: Sam Jolman, John Eldredge

Narrated by: Sam Jolman, John Eldredge

Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins

Publisher's summary

Read by the author.

Men today are starved for sexual formation. They've been failed by parents, churches, and culture alike, leading to widespread shame, confusion, and brokenness in the area of sexuality. In The Sex Talk You Never Got, therapist Sam Jolman helps men reconnect their God-given sexuality with innocence, awe, and joy, and shows listeners how to celebrate--instead of struggle against--the gift of sexual desire.

In our sex-saturated world, it might seem surprising that men need more talk about sex. But the reality is that sexuality is one of the most neglected aspects of men's lives. From the woefully inadequate sex talks many young men receive from parents (little more than an anatomy lesson or a purity lecture, if anything at all) to cultural messages that unhelpfully weave both shame and permissiveness into men's understanding of their own sexuality and masculinity, too many boys and men experience sexual desire as an area of struggle, confusion, and brokenness.

But it doesn't need to be this way. God made men to be moved, to live with wonder and awe--and sexual desire must be formed within the context of that design. Sam Jolman, a professional therapist who specializes in men's issues and sexual trauma recovery, shows men the way out of the wilds of sexual struggle.

This timely and incisive book will help listeners:

• learn about the vital link between sexual desire and their identity as worshipers;
• regain a wild and vigorous sexuality within the context of God's design;
• understand how purity culture has needlessly put men in a conflict-ridden relationship with their sexuality;
• see sexual purity not as the goal but as the preparation for becoming fully alive to beauty, awe, and worship; and
• discover how to trade shame and confusion for a sexuality that's filled with innocence and wonder.

In the Bible, Jesus' greatest kindness was often offered to those suffering sexual harm and brokenness. He offers this same kindness today. He does not want men to repent of their sexual desire. Rather, through reconnecting sexuality with innocence and awe, God opens the door for men to experience the wild joy of desire, rightly ordered toward worship and God's good purposes for their life.

©2024 Sam Jolman (P)2024 Thomas Nelson

A must read!

Sam brings new light and meaning to healthy male sexuality in The Church and beyond. Men have been stunted by The Church’s doomsday messages regarding male sexuality and insatiable lust & desire. These messages often are like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The damaging messages most Christian sex books for men are inundated with, Sam kindly sets right.

With Sam’s careful and thoughtful reintroduction into a man’s true lover heart, he gives hope for present and future generations of men to delve into their stories and reclaim innocence. With this book and hopefully others like it to come, we can begin to turn the tide and see men rise up to what God created them to be in their sexuality.

As a mother of two boys, it has been my heart to relearn what healthy sexuality is for men. My husband and I decided to read this book together and it has been so insightful and stirred up many good conversations. We were the product of purity culture and only in the last few years have figured out that purity culture and all we were taught and read was really at the root of some of our deepest struggles in marriage. We desperately want better for our boys as they grow and become men and know that we cannot pass on what we do not hold ourselves. It is in this process of relearning that Sam’s book came out. What a blessing!

Holistic goodness

This book is pastoral and therapeutic in the best sense of both words. It may be the best faith-based book on the subject.

Wow. Yeah provoked a lot of emotional reactions.

love it better then unwanted. Recommending to a lot of people. Lots of questions left me