How Not to Be an *ss

Essays on Becoming a Good & Safe Man

De: Andrew J. Bauman

Narrado por: Adam Naranjo

I am a recovering ass.

Of course, at times I still am one, but it's less often. I now recognize my “assness” more quickly, recalibrate, and take action to make amends for my poor behavior. It's important to acknowledge the truth of our mistakes without turning toward self-contempt, shame, or beating ourselves up for the harm we have caused to those we love. Yet, we must take full responsibility for our poor behavior and fully own what we have done and learn to live differently, becoming men who bring life rather than further heartache.

This audiobook is just as much for me as it is for you. I am in the process of learning to become a good and safe man, and writing out these truths in this book has helped me immensely. I hope it will help you on your journey to becoming the man you most desire to be.

©2022 Andrew Bauman (P)2022 Andrew Bauman

Excellent and very important book

This is an excellent and very important book to break toxic cycles for both men and women. I do hope that many will read it with an open mind and willingness to reflect deeply and be honest with themselves in order to bring about change and growth.

Good

It would have been a bit better if the author was one that struggled with the issues in the book. I struggle hard and at times don't even realize I'm being a verbally abusive Jerk. Nor do I want to be one!

Accurate descriptions of abusive behavior, language and attitudes that are used in subtle ways to manipulate and coerce others.

Great book quick and easy read with mountains of relevant information that can be easily applied to guide recovery

How honest it was and eye opening. I needed to hear. Thank you Jesus for your grace and mercy ❤️❤️

So grateful for listening to this audio book. I am committed to redemption and forgiveness! To glorify the Lord with my story. And to give my wife a safe place and home. And love her like Christ loves me.

*sses, Mount Up

Men, your wife brings you this book, and you scoff at it. But, read it…and if you get offended by the words, look deeper into why that is. I’ve fallen short time and time again, and this book is written by someone that overcame the issues we are dealing with. This gives me hope. Knowing this, we know that he’s been there, and can relate, but also speak out for the women who’s voices aren’t being heard loud enough. I encourage you to give it a chance. A very informative and necessary book for a step in the right direction.

I Am a recovering ass

the revealing of me was frightening and needed this short book contains great wisdom in such short book. must read for every church goer and pastor but it is only the beginning

Good and brave book

After over a half a decade of my own personal recovery journey from pornography addiction and adolescent/childhood abandonment, I have listened through this book no less than five times in the last year and a half. for context I have spent well over $20,000 in professional counseling therapy and retreats.

this book is very good at calling out the blatantly cruel ways that men insecurely and infantily deal with their own trauma and pain, by projecting it onto their wives or women in their lives.

I do believe that some of the realities and ways that Andrew calls out The church are 100% true and honest, and there are churches like this that are very misogynistic, there are also very healthy masculine churches as well that do not condone the mistreatment of their wives, yet lovingly encourage the women to speak up and be involved while also addressing men's mental health issues, in a proper and submissive way to God's word.

I'm sure that his experiences are very real and true, and should not be discounted, and I believe that healthy churches and healthy masculinity are what we need today in today's society, We don't need cowardly men, we already have enough of them.

I believe we have trended towards overtly feminist leaning, and bordering on complete societal disruption in an unhealthy way. I believe this is led to almost a complete flip in gender roles, and some of the things that Andrew was talking about here with men not being able to see or take accountability for their damaging actions, we now see women doing and acting the same exact way, with an inability to take accountability for their destructive actions based on facts of historical repression. two wrongs do not make a right.

And I believe that it is this entitlement for women to, from what I see, "act like men" and still have the societal benefits of softness towards women with lack of accountability. now we have all these complaints of women not being able to find good strong and providing men, because all of the men have been feminized...

Not to hyperfocus on this, but I believe it needs to be addressed. Men have really been crapped on for the last decade or more. Yes, we have hurt women and done them wrong in the past, we must be vulnerable, stand courageously, and sincerely attempt to heal and make amends with those we have wronged.

And we do not need to continually be brow beaten over the head and shamed, and as courageous and wise men, set boundaries with women and other men. no excuses need to be made for men who were just trying to survive, and with a lack of self-awareness develop destructive addictions. But I don't see any sympathy for them either. this is why men kill themselves, they get no sympathy when they are hurting. this is why it's hard for them to understand and know self-love in a healthy way, because it is never demonstrated to them.

in any case, this is a great book and worthy as a very strong checkup to anyone battling pornography addiction, narcissism, or lack of self-love.

Thank you Andrew for writing this.

Men like Christ

For every man who seeks to be more like his Savior….and every woman who knows that men can be more than what evangelical Christianity has said they were.

Shameful. Toxic, Not Helpful

If you are looking to develop a healthy view of masculinity, become emotionally healthy, learn how to treat women, etc., look elsewhere.

This author has a long way to go to "not be an *ss". He is full of contempt and cheap criticism of men and the Christian church. He goes so far as to compare the men of the US Armed forces to mass shooters.

In his view, real men don't set themselves in harms way to defend their wives and children. No. the best portrait of "healthy masculinity" is himself, when he has the "strength and courage" to cry openly in the face of personal loss. Nothing wrong with shedding som tears, but he couldn't find a single example of gentle, controlled strength, nothing about self sacrifice, nothing about laying one's life down, nothing about courageous leadership and making the tough decisions. "Just take care of yourself emotionally and be good to mama, and you'll be a healthy man" is his message. Sorry, but there's a lot more to it than that. Real men do more than cry. That might get you out of childhood and into your adolescent years, but you still have some ground to cover if you want to claim the title "real man".