The Secret Lives of Wives

Women Share What It Really Takes to Stay Married

By: Iris Krasnow

Narrated by: Bernadette Dunne

A best-selling, groundbreaking author investigates wives who thrive, sharing their uncensored strategies for staying married.

America’s high divorce rate is well known, but little attention has been paid to the flip side: couples who creatively (sometimes clandestinely) manage to build marriages that last longer than we ever thought possible. What’s the secret? To find out, best-selling journalist Iris Krasnow interviewed more than 200 wives whose marriages have survived for 15-70 years. They are a diverse cast, yet they share one common and significant trait: they have made bold, sometimes secretive and shocking, choices on how to keep their marital vows, “till death do us part,” as Krasnow says, “without killing someone first.”

In raw, candid, titillating stories, Krasnow’s cast of wise women give voice to the truth about marriage and the importance of maintaining a strong sense of self apart from the relationship. Some spend summers apart. Some make time for wine with the girls. One septuagenarian has a recurring date with an old flame from high school. In every case, the marriage operates on many tracks, giving both spouses license to pursue the question, who am I apart from my marriage? Krasnow’s goal is to give women permission to create their own marriages at any age. Marital bliss is possible, she says, if each partner is blissful apart from the other.

A fascinating window on the many faces of modern relationships, The Secret Lives of Wives brims with inspiring and daring examples of women who have it both ways: a committed marriage and personal adventures in uncharted territory. For anyone who wants to stay married and stay sane, this is the book to read.

©2011 Iris Krasnow (P)2011 Blackstone Audio, Inc.

Critic reviews

“The best book on marriage ever.” (Leslie Morgan Steiner, New York Times best-selling author)

The Secret Lives of Wives is eye opening

What made the experience of listening to The Secret Lives of Wives the most enjoyable?

While reading this book I felt like I was in a room of my married girlfriends and everyone was being open and honest about their marriages. There was something to learn from each story. I am proud to confess that my husband and I have been married for 17 years and there were good times and there were bad times, but this book let know me know that I/we are not alone. Marriage is an adventure to be shared.By the way my husband overheard me listening and enjoyed the book too.

What about Bernadette Dunne’s performance did you like?

She was personable. I felt like she was right in the room talking to me.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Throw away the cookie cutter and find what works for you.

Any additional comments?

I'd like to see Iris's other books available on audible soon.

Reader makes this book not so great

For some reason the way the reader presents this book is quite undesirable. I probably would have enjoyed the book better if I actually read it myself than listening to it. However, the author seems to go on and on about herself at first and it’s quite boring. I also felt like this was a bias take on the topic of marriage as if she deliberately took stories to make you stay in a marriage. I don’t agree with everything from the book and it comes off as an old fashion point of view. The isn’t for everyone, but I’m sure each individual will take something positive away from this book.

Some interesting information

This contained some interesting advice/stories. However, a lot of them just seemed sad, and not advice about how to live a happy life. Stories from people who say they stayed together even though they weren’t in love and didn’t have passion, how sad of an existence those people must have had. I didn’t like the narrator at all. She sounded way too old and had strange inflections. I’m glad this was free to listen to.

Excellent!!

This book hit the nail on the head when it comes to being married forever!
A must read if your marriage has hit a dead end.

Disappointing

I enjoyed hearing the stories of the women who were in long marriages. However, I felt the title of this should have been "Iris tries to make sense of her own long marriage".

The author spent way too much time analyizing her own relationship and waxing poetic over her own experiences. It would have been more interesting to me if it simply relayed the stories told by the women she interviewed.

Good to hear true stories

I like that this book is without illusions. It tells very different stories of different families, what they went through in their marriages. It gives some lessons how to stay motivated, achieve own professional goals, share burden of household, survive illness, how to preserve happiness. It presents different views about sex life in marriage. I find it’s good to see that no family is the same, and none are ideal. It’s a better book to read than having some idealised stories. I like it’s realism.

Interesting Spin on Marriage

This author takes an interesting spin on long-term marriages that appear to have the traditional success that people wish for. Yet, she explores varied and secretive reasons on how many couples are able to maintain their marriages. This book is filled with several women who have been married for 20+ years, in which they share their secrets of marriage. Those secrets range from developing outside hobbies to finding other male companions to fill the gaps that are missing in their marriages. These stories are heart-found and personal. Yet, with any relationship type of book, some people listening, might not completely agree with all the situations.

As far as how the book is laid out, I feel there was a bit too much repetitive discussion at the beginning of the book. I got a bit board listing listening all about Iris's marriage which frankly was not that interesting, but I am glad I kept going with the audio because there were some really interesting stories. As far as the narrator, she did an excellent job on this type of book. At times, she had to read the instructional aspect of the book, while being able to change her narrating style to match a fictional type of stories, even though these stories were claimed to be real-life situations. Overall, I would give this a B+.

READ THIS BOOK

This book is so amazing!
This is an honest look at marriage.
READ THIS BOOK

Unexpectedly great!

I came across this book without looking for anything like it. I was pleasantly surprised. It had me hooked after the first listen. I really enjoyed the readers voice along with the stories. I would (and already have) recommended to others!

Do not bother with drinking this kool-aid.

If I wanted to be preached at about the virtues of a singular marriage , no matter the size of the problems, I’d start with this book.
No thanks.