The Narcissist Next Door

Understanding the Monster in Your Family, in Your Office, in Your Bed - in Your World

By: Jeffrey Kluger

Narrated by: Jeffrey Kluger

From an award-winning senior writer at Time, an eye-opening exploration of narcissism, how to recognize it, and how to handle it.

The odds are good that you know a narcissist - probably a lot of them. The odds are also good that they are intelligent, confident, and articulate - the center of attention. They make you laugh and they make you think. The odds are also that this spell didn't last.

Narcissists are everywhere. There are millions of them in the United States alone: entertainers, politicians, business people, your neighbors. Recognizing and understanding them is crucial to your not being overtaken by them, says Jeffrey Kluger, in his provocative new book about this insidious disorder.

With insight and wit, Kluger frames the surprising new research on narcissism and explains the complex, exasperating personality disorder. He reveals how narcissism and narcissists affect our lives at work and at home, on the road, and in the halls of government; what to do when we encounter narcissism; and how to neutralize its effects before it's too late.

As a Time writer and science editor, Kluger knows how to take science's new ideas and transform them into smart, accessible insights. Highly listenable and deeply engaging, this book helps us understand narcissism and narcissists more fully.

©2014 Jeffrey Kluger (P)2014 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"[This] well-researched and entertaining study of the syndrome du jour pulls in figures as varied as Lance Armstrong, Kim Kardashian, and Steve Jobs. It also names 'exploitativeness' and 'entitlement' as two of the narcissist’s calling cards." (Slate)

"Narcissists can be captivating people, and The Narcissist Next Door is a captivating book: meticulously researched, written with verve, and spiced with irresistible examples from the headlines and everyday life." (Steven Pinker)

"We are surrounded by narcissists and from afar, they are often easy to like. They are famous entertainers, successful business people and politicians. The charm wears off quickly, though, if they get too close - your neighbors, friends or your own family. The brilliant Jeffrey Kluger, one of our country’s most admired science writers, has written a book that taught me a great deal, made me laugh out loud on a quiet airplane ride, and forced me to be introspective about myself and the people I love. Kluger gives a lot of himself in this book, deftly weaving cutting-edge science with poignant personal stories that are astonishingly candid, and at times very familiar. At the risk of sounding...well, narcissistic, I of course wondered if I fit any of the criteria. Chances are you are wondering the same thing. So open the book and find out." (Dr. Sanjay Gupta)

Interesting book!

If you have an interest in learning more about personality disorders I recommend this book especially if your interested in the dramatic disorders.

Lost the thread...

Started out great but by the end, became more about the psychology of US presidents than narcissists, unless the author meant to presume that all presidents are narcissists.

Good. Could go deeper.

This book is very interesting and worth a listen. It grabs you from the start and I learnt a lot. I thought at first I had narcissistic tendencies but this book and an online test showed I was way off the mark. (I recommend the test too.)  

Two chapters go off track a bit. One about U.S. presidents which annoyingly was written before Trump and would now be far more interesting today, even though the beginning of the book discusses Trump, but it was written a few years ago so I guess a coincidence? The other is about Crowd mentality which seems incorrect to be classified as narcissism.

The book lacks deep psychological explanations or even how to counter, treat or control narcissism.

None the less a good book and I enjoyed it.

Unsatisfying

A lot of words to say very little. Basic upshot, narcissistic behaviour is OK as long as you don’t over do it. No mention of the huge damage these people cause, especially to their children.
Narcissistic people are emotional muggers and abusers. Although touched on, was all rather down played.

Like Listening to a College Thesis

Is there anything you would change about this book?

This book is dry. Focuses too much on public figures like celebrities and athletes and gives too few examples of how to deal with or deflect the narcissist everyone encounters. The author states in the beginning that only 2% of the population is likely a diagnosable narcissist then goes on to label every CEO, politician, celebrity, or attention grabbing athlete as a narcissist. I found myself continually thinking "well no shit" every time he would outline a person like Hitler or Steve Jobs then label them a narcissist. My intention was to learn how to deal with the narcissist everyone encounters, especially in the work environment, instead I learned all reality stars, convicted violent inmates, politicians and every successful business owner is a narcissist according to Mr. Kluger. The book is well written, but I could have rummaged through some old psychology thesis' and gotten as much information.

Would you recommend The Narcissist Next Door to your friends? Why or why not?

Only if someone asked me specifically for a recommendation about a book on narcissism. So yes, I recommended it to my aunt.

Would you be willing to try another one of Jeffrey Kluger’s performances?

Yes, the book although the attempts at humor were unsuccessful, it was very well written and organized. The author was a bad choice as the narrator. Not the right type of voice. Grated on the nerves.

If this book were a movie would you go see it?

I don't think there is even a remote possibility this will ever be a movie.

Any additional comments?

It feels like the author wrote this book as sort of a revenge piece. You learn his background with Time magazine, he outlines his character and the bosses and other journalist that have slighted him in the past and then goes on to talk extremely negatively about very public figures, most he has never met, and label them divas and raging egomaniacs. While it is true in some cases--yes we all know that LeBron James and Miley Cyrus are narcissist. I wish he had written more about what makes a narcissist that way, be it nature or nurture, does narcissism correlate with sociopathic tendencies? When addressing a narcissist what tactics can you use to take the wind out of their sails but not throw them into a state of rage? It's not hard to pinpoint narcissistic behavior, I just want to learn how to deal with it. That was not part of this book.

Great stories of insight into a widespread problem

What made the experience of listening to The Narcissist Next Door the most enjoyable?

Interesting vignettes of a condition best described that way.

What other book might you compare The Narcissist Next Door to and why?

Mistakes Were Made (But not by Me). Consideration of the hubris born of narcissism that have frustrated great promise.

What does Jeffrey Kluger bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Living memorable examples of all persuasions. He is brutally frank and not PC about any politician (which are visible easily known examples) or situation of any persuasion. Thin skin listeners will not be able to accept when their ox is gored, and all oxes are gored.

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Descriptions of Lyndon Johnson which recalled my Father's distaste of the man.

Any additional comments?

In the pervasive plague of obsession with persona, narcissists and the chumps who are blindly devoted to them, Kluger provides insight every reader should consider thoroughly.

Interesting material and a great reading by the author

Great performance and great writing. I suspect the author has overreached a bit in his generalizations. But there is truly interesting research in here

Had no idea this book was about politics.

I just couldnt listen anymore with a couple of hours left. I just got out of a horrible 3 year relationship with someone who has as ll the traits of the disorder. Horrible person. A relative suggest this book as bout three years as go as after sharing some of the early red flags I was seeing. This book seems to claim that all of our presidents ed nts have this disorder. Done, couldnt finish because of all the psychology yadda y as dad yadda.

Talks about clinical info without being a clinician.

It didn’t take long for me to realize this man has no idea what he’s talking about. The very fact that he felt qualified to write such damaging nonsense confirms he is indeed what the title describes. I recommend The Sociopath Next Door by Martha Stout PhD. More enlightening and an actually insight to these relationships, not just repeating WebMD or whichever of his traumas were triggered.

Disappointed

Felt that there is a bias in the writing of this book. Right from the beginning he talks about some politicians, all from one political group.