The Narcissist Borderline Relationship Dynamic

How and Why NPD and BPD Couples Trigger Each Other's Wounds (and What to Do About It): Transcend Mediocrity, Book 63

By: J.B. Snow

Narrated by: D Gaunt

Many of my readers and listeners write to me, and they often want to know how to improve or fix a relationship between a narcissistic personality disordered (NPD) man and a borderline personality disordered (BPD) woman. This dynamic duo tends to get together a lot more than people seem to realize. This duo is one of the most difficult relationships to maintain but can also be one of the most rewarding love connections realized by both sides of the duo. When each partner learns the habits and needs of the other, they can seek to better fulfill each other's needs.

This audiobook hopes to fill the gap for those listeners who are seeking to fine tune their relationships or to improve an abusive or emotionally volatile relationship. We discuss NPD and BPD as they pertain to a heterosexual relationship, but the same rules apply if the roles are reversed and in a homosexual relationship. We hope to give new light to those who are choosing to stay in the relationship but want better ways to interact with their partner to make the relationship work. It is no surprise that this volatile couple needs more tools to deal with the complications of their relationship and to avoid a breakup or an abusive situation.

The narcissist borderline couple tends to form because each person is attracted to the other based on his or her primitive childhood injury. Though both people grew up in different environments, each experienced some level of emotional and developmental trauma that draws them together. The bonding grows love while at the same time sometimes causing a trauma bonding to occur between the couple in the midst of toxic circumstances. Both sides of the couple are emotionally underdeveloped to some degree, and the high conflict in their relationship generally exposes this underdevelopment further.

©2015 J.B. Snow (P)2015 J.B. Snow

Wow !! Short but to the point 😊

I have heard many audiobooks that have been much longer but have never given me as much information that I have needed as this book !! I was like wow ; she hit the nail right on the head for me . Enjoyed book was very helpful 😊

couldn't be more accurate.

it was like I was hearing a perfect description of my marital relationship. eye opening

I wish I knew sooner

I have BPD and my ex had many narcissistic tendencies. This book is short but thorough enough for my curiosity. The correlations make a lot of sense to me and I think i might have been able to keep my ex if only we'd known how we could benefit eachother, not just how we bring eachother down. Or... I may not have kept him due to him avoiding almost any self reflection. Oh well, good book.

I had heard of the relationship between codependents and narcissists before but this was the first time i had considered a BPD/Narc correlation. I'm curious if others with BPD would consider themselves as having many codependent behaviors/traits as well... Huh. Cheers to those divulging in self knowledge and self improvement, keep on going! :)

very informative

this is definately going to help me and my marriage. I learned a lot about myself and my husband.

this sounds like it's from a narcissist perspectiv

the book gives the approval of gaslighting and lying and says it's good for the borderlines reality which is complete bs. this is essentially propaganda for abuse

No practical advice

This book is basically just a description of the various challenges and benefits of NPD/BPD relationship. Completely useless.

accurate information, but dangerously too short

This author covers some very common behavior patterns and needs within individuals with BPD and NPD and how the two attract one another in complimentary, but potentially destructive ways.
it is over simplified, and as a result, can lead to people reading it and simply labeling each other without having enough information to help. it is not well written for the lay public, and isn't as in depth enough for therapists to learn from. it gives a surface level understanding and requires more than what is said here. I would encourage the author to flesh it out and be careful with giving such short information. enough information to possibly harm and add ammunition to the fight, not enough to help.
coming from a therapist who works with these types of couples.