The Haunted Forest Tour

By: Jeff Strand, James A. Moore

Narrated by: Joe Hempel

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back, and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature's most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you'll get to observe these wonders in complete safety.

Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn't even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws - you'll see them all!

Not thrilling enough? Well, it's Halloween, and so we're offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you're guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100 percent safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.

We promise.

©2007 James A. Moore and Jeff Strand (P)2018 Tantor

wonderful

This was awesome from start to finish. This was awesome, I loved how well it was written and performed. I enjoyed the characters and left wanting to reread this again. Great job and it was a bonus it all occurs on Halloween.

There's a lot to unpack here

In a nutshell, a forest pops up in the middle of the desert, wreaking destruction on an entire town, and killing the population.. Before anyone realizes, the forest becomes infested with otherwordly creatures intent on taking over, well, everything. They're also hungry for human flesh - very hungry. Moore and Strand deserve a lot of credit for how much thought they put into all of the creatures, down to every tentacle, tooth, wing, gaping hole, and more. It can sometimes overwhelm with all of the various inhabitants - all deadly, none cuddly.

Eventually, developers get the bright idea to turn the forest into a tourist attraction. This particular trip is special. It's Halloween night, and a tram full of lucky ticket holders get on board and make their way through the horrors of the forest. This part of the story is hard to keep track of because there are just so many damn characters. That is until the tram dies on the tracks, and all hell breaks loose.

This book is incredibly imaginative (though I found using the word "monsters" to collective describe the creatures seems very old fashioned and quaint). If you can set aside some of its silliness (every time an Ogre ripped someone in half or slammed them against a tree, I just kept picturing Shrek), you'll love this book. I ultimately settled on three stars because the number of characters was overwhelming, and a few scenes went on a lot longer than the should have. And with the detailed descriptions of so many creatures, I can't help but think they took some inspiration from video games, or perhaps the last 15 minutes of Cabin In The Woods

Fun and Fast Horror Ride

I loved this book! All the awesome monsters and great descriptions made this a great ride for horror lovers!

Like a Halloween mask from the $1.99 bargain bin

This is a case of missed and underused opportunities. The premise is interesting and the plot is intriguing, but the characters are less than fully realized and there is a feeling that it could have been sooooo much better.

What's good-
Interesting premise.
Nice action sequences.
Amusing sarcastic writing style.

What's bad-
Thinly crafted characters.
Too much time spent lovingly describing wounds and pain.
Too much suspension of disbelief is required to truly invest emotionally in the tale.

In a nutshell, this story has no real heft. It's a poorly made Halloween mask from the $1.99 bargain bin; it's scary if it's dark out and you squint your eyes just right, otherwise it's just cheaply painted rubber and matted fantasy fur.

Interesting to say the least.

I really liked the concept of this story. The narrator was so-so. Overall, a good read (listen).

An Imaginative Ride

A rather thrilling and exciting adventure into horror. Had some very interesting monsters and characters.

Haunted Forest Tour is a great read

didn't want to stop listening the whole way through. keeps your attention the whole way through

The action keeps going Freedom beginning to end!

Loved the characters & especially the monsters. All the different kinds of monsters from werewolves, dragons, ogres, to flaming Hell Hounds. It was all pretty good except for the periodic call backs to the various female character's tits and @ss as the death & disaster unfolded. It just didn't fit quite right & seemed inappropriate and out of place. Overall, I liked the story & characters.

Good God is this good!

This is an amazing book !!! My gosh , edge of your seat good ! The story , the narrator , the chills and thrills . I just can't believe how good it is !

Fun

Fun horror read? I enjoyed the characters . Though the ending was a little rushed it seemed to me.