The Emotional Incest Syndrome
What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life
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The Emotional Incest Syndrome
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Narrated by:
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Laural Merlington
About this listen
Do these "endearments" sound familiar to you?
"Of all my children, I expect the most of you." Translation: I've selected you to be the one to make my life worth living.
"You've never caused me a minute of trouble." Translation: Ignore your own needs, I can't handle them.
"You're the only one who truly understands me." Translation: I would be totally alone if it weren't for you.
If so, you may have been a "chosen child", seemingly the focus of loving and devoted parents, but in reality a child walking a psychological tightrope - learning early on to deny your own needs in order to meet the emotional needs of a parent. Today, there is a name for this devastating form of child abuse: emotional incest. Here, Dr. Patricia Love offers adults real hope - and help - in overcoming the hurtful legacy of being a chosen child. Based on proven therapeutic techniques and using real-life case histories, her total program of recovery will help you identify the signs of emotional incest, confront your parents - and your past - with love and understanding, disentangle your life from theirs, and create a positive relationship with your parents - and your own children.
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You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold, and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist, and founder of the popular stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
horrible
- By Marcia R on 02-07-17
By: Rachelle Katz
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
- Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
- By: Andrew G. Marshall
- Narrated by: Andrew G. Marshall
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 32
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 30
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 30
In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
- By Christopher on 05-09-19
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,457
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,229
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,224
When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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5 out of 5 stars
-
encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
-
When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 49
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 48
We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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1 out of 5 stars
-
Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
-
10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships
- By: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
- Length: 2 hrs and 37 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 199
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 128
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 124
In Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships, Dr. Laura Schlessinger calls for a return to traditional courtship. Courtship allows couples and their families to get acquainted with each other over a longer period of time, and provides structure and guidelines for that important process.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
No brainer ideas that we can forget
- By Ali0531 on 07-06-15
-
Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives
- By: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Laura Schlessinger Ph.D.
- Length: 2 hrs and 52 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 137
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 86
Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
-
The Fatherless Daughter Project
- Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives
- By: Denna D. Babul RN, Karin Luise PhD
- Narrated by: Tara Ochs, PhD Karin Luise, RN Denna D. Babul
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 81
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 68
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 67
When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
-
The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 159
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 118
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 117
Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
-
When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 66
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 56
-
Story5 out of 5 stars 57
Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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4 out of 5 stars
-
Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
-
Love Is a Choice
- The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
- By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier
- Narrated by: Christopher Solimene
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 124
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 104
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 99
In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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3 out of 5 stars
-
Great book, horrible Performance
- By Jeff on 03-15-18
By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, and others
-
Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
- Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 589
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 503
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 501
From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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2 out of 5 stars
-
Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
-
Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin
- How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries
- By: Anne Katherine MA
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 91
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 79
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 79
Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
- By Matt on 04-26-22
-
Divorce Poison
- How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing
- By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak
- Narrated by: Daniel Penz
- Length: 14 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 227
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 200
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 195
Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
Required Reading
- By Christine Manning on 11-09-15
-
We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 40
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
-
3 out of 5 stars
-
Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
-
Joint Custody with a Jerk
- Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex
- By: Judy Corcoran, Julie A. Ross, MA
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 98
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 80
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 79
It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After divorce, when the respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife.
-
2 out of 5 stars
-
Victim blaming
- By Michelle Johann on 08-31-18
By: Judy Corcoran, and others
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Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
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Soul Without Shame
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Parents act as a mirror to show a child who she or he is. Throughout childhood there will be other mirrors, but children inevitably return to the reflection in that original mirror in order to determine their goodness, importance, and self-worth. In Healing Your Emotional Self, Beverly Engle offers her highly effective Mirror Therapy program to help you reject the distorted images your parents either intentionally or unintentionally projected onto you.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator was difficult to listen to
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Throughout her childhood and adolescence, the anonymous author of The Incest Diary was raped by her father. Beneath a veneer of normal family life, she grew up in and around this all-encompassing secret. Her sexual relationship with her father lasted, off and on, into her 20s. It formed her world, and it formed her deepest fears and desires.
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If I Can Bear Witness, I Must
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This best-selling book examines childhood trauma and the enduring effects it has on an individual's management of repressed anger and pain. Why are many of the most successful people plagued by feelings of emptiness and alienation? This wise and profound audiobook has provided millions of people with an answer—and has helped them to apply it to their own lives.
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An unfortunate translation of the original title
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The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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Convoluted
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The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.
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It took me 45 years to finally know why my Mother is as she is.
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Secrets in the Cellar
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Josef Fritzl was a 73-year-old retired engineer in Austria. He seemed to be living a normal life with his wife, Rosemarie, and their family - though one daughter, Elisabeth, had decades earlier been "lost" to a religious cult. Throughout the years, three of Elisabeth's children mysteriously appeared on the Fritzls' doorstep; Josef and Rosemarie raised them as their own. But only Josef knew the truth about Elisabeth's disappearance.... For 27 years, Josef had imprisoned and molested Elisabeth in his man-made basement dungeon.
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One of the most riveting and disturbing books ever
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When Dad Hurts Mom
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
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The Wounded Heart
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 198
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 197
Sexual abuse knows no religious or social boundaries. The Wounded Heart is an intensely personal and specific look at this form of abuse. Dr. Allender explores the secret lament of the soul damaged by sexual abuse and lays hold of the hope buried there by the one whose unstained image we all bear. Includes information about false memory issues.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not what I was hoping for ...
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Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
- Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Rachel Perry
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 287
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 243
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 242
In this compassionate guide you'll find tips and tools to help you set boundaries with others, honor and validate your emotions, and thrive in the face of life's challenges. You'll discover how to protect yourself from hurtful behavior, stop making excuses for others' limitations, forge healthier relationships, and feel more confident in your life. Most importantly, you'll learn how to stop putting others' needs before your own and manage daily stressors.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not the Best
- By Bret on 10-17-21
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When Parents Hurt
- Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along
- By: Joshua Coleman PhD
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 83
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 82
This unique book supports parents who are struggling with the heartache of having a teenager or an adult child who is troubled, angry, or distant. Such rifts can cause unspeakable sorrow that parents too often must bear alone. Psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, PhD, offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parents they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Not worth tour time...
- By TMT on 12-12-16
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The Tao of Fully Feeling
- Harvesting Forgiveness out of Blame
- By: Pete Walker
- Narrated by: Christopher Grove
- Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 433
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 352
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Story5 out of 5 stars 347
The Tao of Fully Feeling teaches us to respond to our painful and potentially disruptive feelings in healthy ways. It illustrates the enriching aspects of the so-called negative emotions and helps us achieve the emotional flexibility whereby sadness easily mellows into solace, anger unfolds into laughter, fear evolves into excitement, jealousy opens up into appreciation, and blame gives way to forgiveness.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Monotone Narrator Kind of Ironic for Fully Feeling
- By J. Burton on 08-22-19
By: Pete Walker
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 136
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 115
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Story4 out of 5 stars 115
We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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The Covert Passive-Aggressive Narcissist
- Recognizing the Traits and Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse
- By: Debbie Mirza
- Narrated by: Debbie Mirza
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 2,843
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,480
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,462
The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: Finding Healing After Hidden Emotional and Psychological Abuse is the most comprehensive and helpful audiobook on the topic of covert narcissism. This type of narcissism is one of the most damaging forms because the abuse is so hidden and so insidious. You can be in a relationship that can last for decades and not realize you are being psychologically and emotionally controlled, manipulated, and abused.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This book CHANGED MY LIFE!
- By Mojo on 12-19-18
By: Debbie Mirza
What listeners say about The Emotional Incest Syndrome
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Adara
- 11-25-22
If you relate to anything in this book, you need therapy.
But you are so worth it. This book is very eye opening and helpful in navigating relationships.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sanwirt
- 01-22-21
Amazing
I have just begun my journey for self healing and I could never explain why I was so miserable...this book gave me an answer. There was so much that I had gone through that I didn’t know wasn’t normal. I can finally begin my road to recovery thanks to this book. I will listen many times over!!!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Beazus
- 09-29-22
Stimulates healing
Even if the chosen child isn’t your dominant childhood wound, you’ll find it’s dimensionality in your own life or those near and near. This is a must read for anyone seeking self-healing and better relationships.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Jason
- 07-30-18
an eye opener!
highly recommend for every adult who is unsure where their relationship difficulties originated from. Helped to put pieces together and explain things were not understood before
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 07-22-18
Life Changer!!!
I have already recommending and gifted out this book to friends and family. I gave a copy to my therapist. I cant recommend enough. This book providing a lot more language and clarity into unhealthy parent child boundaries and how it effects everyone involved. She gives really good examples and exercises. I'm going to reread and go back to many times as a reference. Thank you Dr. Love!!!
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Savvy Shopper
- 04-16-17
Helpful with multiple areas
While not perfect, this book helped me understand multiple areas in family systems type stuff. Also, as an adult man I'm a bit biased and the narrator was difficult listening to. But I got through it by just imagining what it would sound like if a man read it.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Edgar Rodriguez
- 06-18-20
Highly Recommended
A very common yet misunderstood phenomenon, it’s good for all adults to learn this, whether you’re a parent or want to become one, or don’t.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- E.M.
- 03-15-23
Eye Opening and Illuminating
A well-thought out and surprisingly personable work about the affects of our conditioned life experiences. Self-awareness leading to understanding of boundaries in life is pressed home through the authors voice. Excellent self-help book.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- TH
- 04-14-22
Outdated and sympathetic to abusive parents
I think it’s a red flag when books designed to help you learn about the abuse you endured are sympathetic to parents. This book regularly says some variation of “they did their best”. Having personally been the victim of a sexually emotional incestuous relationship, I don’t need more sympathy for my abuser. I needed sympathy for myself then and I need sympathy for myself now. And the abusive person should be held accountable.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall3 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- jeanius
- 08-02-21
Great first half, fell short of good advice
The first half was eye opening and validating. The second half lacked advice and it was terrible. Too bad. It was like “yes this is me” then “now what do I do?” And it left me hanging..
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4 people found this helpful