The Bloody British
A Well-Meaning Guide to an Awkward Nation
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The Bloody British
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Narrated by:
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Stewart Crank
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By:
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Paul Hawkins
About this listen
Are you ready to meet the bloody British? For fans of Very British Problems, Douglas Adams and Bill Bryson, it’s the perfect gift for the socially awkward oddball in your life.
Being British isn’t easy. Especially if you live abroad, where your countrymen aren’t exactly famous for, well, blending in. As his beloved homeland goes Brexit bananas, best-selling humourist Paul Hawkins takes on Britishness - how it looks from the outside, how to be British abroad and what you only learn about home once you leave it.
In this self-deprecating audiobook, he reveals the awkward secrets, cultural blind-spots and private oddness of the people with whom he once shared an island. Part memoir, part cheat-sheet for decoding a nation of well-meaning misfits, The Bloody British is full of hilarious insights about Britishness gleaned (often begrudgingly) from the author’s own time as another country’s foreigner. What does Europe think of us?
©2019 Paul Hawkins (P)2020 W. F. Howes LtdListeners also enjoyed...
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-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,486
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,477
If there’s anything worse than being fired from the lousiest restaurant in town, it’s coming home early to find your boyfriend in bed with someone else. Reeling from the humiliation of a double dumping in one day, Georgina takes the next job that comes her way - bartender in a newly opened pub. There’s only one problem: It’s run by the guy she fell in love with years ago. And - make that two problems - he doesn’t remember her. At all. But she has fabulous friends and her signature hot pink fur coat...what more could a girl really need?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Helpful for Sexual Assault Victims
- By Katie Best on 12-05-20
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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Who's That Girl?
- By: Mhairi McFarlane
- Narrated by: Cassie Bradley
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 253
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 236
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 235
An achingly funny story from the author of the best-selling You Had Me at Hello. When Edie is caught in a compromising position at her colleagues' wedding, all the blame falls on her - turns out that personal popularity in the office is not that different from your school days. Shamed online and ostracised by everyone she knows, Edie's forced to take an extended sabbatical - ghostwriting an autobiography for hot new acting talent, Elliot Owen. Easy, right? Wrong.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Very frustrating heroine, disappointing ending
- By Jennie L. Stumm on 09-23-20
By: Mhairi McFarlane
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Then I Met You
- By: Matt Dunn
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford, Steve West
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 75
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Story4 out of 5 stars 74
Lisa’s dated a series of disastrous men; Simon’s loved and lost the girl of his dreams. She’s hoping fate might intervene in her love life; he’d prefer that it stopped meddling with his. Today, they’re meeting, courtesy of the local paper’s ‘Blind Date’ feature - but while Lisa’s looking for that elusive ‘spark’, Simon’s sure lightning doesn’t strike twice. Will theirs be a love that’s written in the stars, or merely another mismatch written up in the Gazette?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not what I was expecting…
- By lfint on 05-25-24
By: Matt Dunn
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Stella's Story
- Thrown Away Children, Book 1
- By: Louise Allen
- Narrated by: Melanie Crawley
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 228
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 215
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Story5 out of 5 stars 215
Named after the lager that christened her at birth, Stella's life is characterised instability and neglect. Her teenage mother abandons her in the first few weeks of her life, and left in the 'care' of her father, she ends up lying deserted in a house with no food, no water, no clothes and no warmth. She eventually lands in the care of foster carer Louise, who is determined to change her life for the better.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Heartbreaking but so wonderful to see a happy ending
- By Amazon Customer on 11-14-24
By: Louise Allen
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Maeve's Times
- In Her Own Words
- By: Maeve Binchy
- Narrated by: Kate Binchy
- Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 99
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 87
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 87
From the royal wedding to boring airplane companions, Samuel Beckett to Margaret Thatcher, "senior moments" to life as a waitress, Maeve's Times gives us wonderful insight into a changing Ireland as it celebrates the work of one of our best-loved writers in all its diversity - revealing her characteristic directness, laugh-out-loud humor, and unswerving gaze into the true heart of a matter.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A GLIMPSE THROUGH MAEVE'S LOOKING GLASS
- By jstrfic on 08-08-17
By: Maeve Binchy
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A Very British Christmas
- Twelve Days of Discomfort and Joy
- By: Rhodri Marsden
- Narrated by: Rhodri Marsden, Helen Keeley, Paul Tyreman
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 45
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 42
Have Yourself a Very British Christmas is a 12-stage sleigh ride through the best, worst, strangest and funniest aspects of the Christmas holiday, with cultural icons saluted, national habits dissected and personal reminiscences from those who've eaten all the mince pies and lived to tell the tale. The essential Christmas stocking filler for every Brit who's ever found themselves on a deflating airbed wedged up against the washing machine in their parents' spare room come Christmas Eve.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Christmas Fun
- By Robin L Childs on 11-13-20
By: Rhodri Marsden
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Surviving Ireland
- By: Colm Tobin
- Narrated by: Colm Tobin
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 37
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 31
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 31
It's exhausting being Irish. The constant self-flagellation is enough to put anybody off their breakfast. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Is it the postcolonial overhang following centuries of oppression at the hands of a litany of foreign invaders? Or is it collective guilt for sending Westlife out into the wider world? In Surviving Ireland, acclaimed comedy writer Colm Tobin takes the listener by the hand for a satirical romp through modern Irish life.
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5 out of 5 stars
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very fun
- By Rick on 06-12-19
By: Colm Tobin
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The Year of Living Danishly
- Uncovering the Secrets of the World's Happiest Country
- By: Helen Russell
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 5,348
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 4,834
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4,823
When she was suddenly given the opportunity of a new life in rural Jutland, journalist and archetypal Londoner Helen Russell discovered a startling statistic: the happiest place on earth isn't Disneyland but Denmark, a land often thought of by foreigners as consisting entirely of long, dark winters, cured herring, Lego and pastries. What is the secret to their success? Are happy Danes born or made?
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4 out of 5 stars
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Interesting content. Unfortunate delivery.
- By Jennifer Soudagar on 11-13-15
By: Helen Russell
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I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan
- By: Alan Partridge
- Narrated by: Alan Partridge
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 744
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 668
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 662
Journalist, presenter, broadcaster, husband, father, vigorous all-rounder – Alan Partridge – a man with a fascinating past and an amazing future. Gregarious and popular, yet Alan’s never happier than when relaxing in his own five-bedroom, south-built house with three acres of land and access to a private stream. But who is this mysterious enigma? Alan Gordon Partridge is the best – and best-loved – radio presenter in the region. Born into a changing world of rationing, Teddy Boys, apes in space and the launch of ITV, Alan’s broadcasting career began as chief DJ of Radio Smile....
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5 out of 5 stars
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An Anglican giant among pygmies
- By John on 06-20-12
By: Alan Partridge
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Dear Fatty
- By: Dawn French
- Narrated by: Liza Tarbuck
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 376
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 293
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 293
With a sharp eye for comic detail and a wicked ear for the absurdities of life, Dawn French shows just how an RAF girl from the west country with dreams of becoming a ballerina/bridesmaid/thief rose to become one of the best-loved comedy actresses of our time.
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5 out of 5 stars
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If you like Dawn French - You will love this book!
- By Pamela on 01-22-09
By: Dawn French
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A Year in the Wild
- By: James Hendry
- Narrated by: James Hendry
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 148
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 133
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 133
Angus and Hugh MacNaughton are brothers. They dislike each other...a lot. They have loathed each other since Hugh bit Angus at a family picnic many years ago. In a last-ditch attempt to forge a brotherly bond between the two, Mr. and Mrs. MacNaughton secure them jobs at an exclusive five-star game lodge. They manage to convince (bribe in the case of Angus) the siblings to work at Sasekile Private Game Lodge for a year.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A must read!
- By M. on 04-22-17
By: James Hendry
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A Thousand Roads Home
- By: Carmel Harrington
- Narrated by: Jill Crawford, Frank Grimes
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 181
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 166
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 166
Meet Tom. Or Dr O’Grady, as he used to be called. When you pass him on the street, most people don’t even give him a second glance. You see, Tom isn’t living his best life. Burdened by grief, he’s only got his loyal dog, Bette Davis, for company and a rucksack containing his whole world. Then there’s Ruth and her son, DJ, who no longer have a place to call home. But Ruth believes that you can change the world by helping one person at a time - and Tom needs her help. There are a thousand ways to find your home - you just need to be brave enough to look for them.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Couldn't put it down
- By Allison Swart on 09-22-19
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Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 511
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 429
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 426
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
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5 out of 5 stars
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This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
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The Other Son
- By: Nick Alexander
- Narrated by: Imogen Church
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 109
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 95
Alice has been lying to herself for years, holding fast to the belief that the needs of her family far outweigh her own. But her outwardly successful marriage hides dark secrets, and for much of her life the children were the only reason she stuck around. These days, though her successful banker son lives nearby, his young wife seems to do everything she can to keep Alice at bay. As for Alice's other son, he has always been something of a stranger and has been traveling for so long that Alice isn't even sure what continent he is on anymore.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderfully Done!
- By Ann on 11-06-16
By: Nick Alexander
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Proof of Life
- Twenty Days on the Hunt for a Missing Person in the Middle East
- By: Daniel Levin
- Narrated by: Will Collyer
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 68
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 65
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 65
Daniel Levin was at his office when he got a call from an acquaintance with an urgent, cryptic request to meet in Paris. A young man had gone missing in Syria. No government, embassy, or intelligence agency would help. Could he? Would he? So begins a suspenseful, shocking, and at times brutal true story of one man’s search to find a missing person in Syria over twenty tense days.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Gripping and intriguing
- By Domenica Antonini on 11-10-24
By: Daniel Levin
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Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Amy McAllister
- Length: 17 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 102
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 93
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Story4 out of 5 stars 94
Lucy Sullivan is 26 and living it up (and occasionally down) in London. Hers is a life of quiet, undisciplined desperation. But when she and three friends visit a psychic for a bit of fun and the woman's predictions start coming true, Lucy is horrified. For the fortune-teller insisted she'd soon be married - within the year, in fact. Not only does Lucy not have a boyfriend, but the chances of getting one are looking slim. Between the bottles of wine, antidepressants and her addiction to self-help books, she's not quite ready to walk, or even stumble, down the aisle sober.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Worst characters ever
- By Ada Harsema Engdahl on 01-30-20
By: Marian Keyes