Ten Things I Hate About Me

By: Joe Tracini

Narrated by: Joe Tracini

Hi. I hope you're ok.

My name's Joe, and I have one job, every day: don't kill myself.

I live with a complex mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

15% of people with BPD die by suicide, and 40% try.

I'm already in the 40%. My job is to keep out of the 15%.

In this book I want to try and explain what life is like when you have a brain that is essentially trying to murder you every day. It's a collection of the funny, sad and shocking stuff that has happened to me along the way.

Writing this book has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It had to be dragged into the world, with my condition telling me that every single word, sentence and chapter was terrible and would make strangers walk up to me in the street and punch me in the face.

But I had run out of options. I'd done everything I 'd been told to do and I still thought about killing myself every day. So I wrote this book to save my life.

But if there is even the smallest chance that me telling you how I live with me helps you live with you; if it opens up a space for someone, somewhere to be more honest about their mental illness, it will have been worth it.

Please don't kill yourself.

Love Joe xx

©2022 Joe Tracini (P)2022 Orion Publishing Group

Critic reviews

"This is a remarkable book. The honesty is startling and potent." (Dawn French)

"You have to buy this book. I mean it. It's very funny and sad and utterly true. It's a life-saver." (Miriam Margolyes)

"This book will save lives." (Lorraine Kelly)

One less thing I hate about myself

This book made me hate one less thing about myself.
I used to read read read and now all I do is scroll or flip.
This is the first book I have read front to back in YEARS.
This book not only GETS me with out feeling like I need to roll my eyes, this book is changing lives.
I mean I know other people have BPD but hearing somebody be just like me and they are not a huge fuck up even though they feel like they are makes me hate myself just a little less. At least for today.

You should read it

There are quite a few things from the book that I’ll be carrying with me for a while. He also helped put an explanation to some of the things I was feeling I knew I was feeling that was but it helped me articulate it through his own experiences.

Worth A Listen

Started this audiobook with no real intention of relating, but knowing there are others out there with similar thoughts really helped me cope with a bad few months. I highly recommend listening to this book, it is a great help.

Excellent reading for anyone experiencing suicidal ideation

Joe is many things. He is an excellent author, actor, and storyteller. But through this book, Joe is also an incredible advocate for those struggling with addiction and/or their mental health. One of the most important thing he does for us through his book, is normalize talking about suicide, a topic so taboo that those struggling with suicidal ideations often don’t seek help because of it.

I feel like I got to know Joe via this book. He tells us things he’s never told anyone, and that’s special. That’s not something everyone is brave enough to do. He also tells us about his journey to find what works for him, and his perseverance (and slip ups) as he found out what didn’t work for him too.

Joe doesn’t tell you how to fix your problems in his book, but he does tell you something arguably even more important: that all is not lost even when your problems seem insurmountable.

Absolutely brilliant

This was life saving !!!you are very intelligent and thought provoking!!!Thank you Joe, you saved my life too :)

Helped open my eyes.

This helped me see me and know it's not just me that has these feelings and thoughts. I broke down when he explained "mick" because that's exactly how I feel and it made me feel better knowing I'm not the only one.

Please read

Everyone needs to read/listen to the book. Full stop. Especially if you are, or love someone who is, not ok.

I couldn’t stop laughing

Obviously the fact that i was able to laugh out loud while taking my morning walks… is a telltale sign that i have a raging case of BPD. I was not diagnosed until i was 45. Prior to my diagnosis, I waffled between thinking I was the most fabulously free spirited woman on the planet or world’s biggest fraud and everyone either hated me…. Or would hate me if they knew how deranged I really was. I still struggle. I will always struggle but I’m more committed to living. I have never related to a book so much. Joe was great to listen to.

Best (and only audio) book I've ever purchased.

Whether you can completely relate, relate to just some bits or even not at all, it's his truth, in fact it's so many of our truths. Talking about the bad things you've done, mental illnesses you may have and your lowest points is possibly the most difficult thing for anyone to do. Some never admit nor speak of these things but ever since I came across Joe and especially after the book, whatever shame,guilt or even embarrassment I felt has slowly drifted away, leaving me to speak and live my truth, no matter how sometimes sad, bad or good. I feel like the weight I carry can occasionally be lifted just by talking about certain things I was to afraid to prior. It's funny,emotional,heartfelt and most of all truthful to its very core. Anyone and everyone should give it a read or listen perhaps for it's one of the best books out there. Thank you Mr. Tracini.

A true account from the BPD brain.

Love this book. First book that has really explained my own brain. A true account of living with BPD.