Swamp Story
A Novel
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Swamp Story
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Narrated by:
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Dave Barry
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By:
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Dave Barry
About this listen
Pulitzer Prize–winning and New York Times bestselling author—and actual Florida Man—Dave Barry returns with a “hilariously funny” (Steve Martin) caper full of oddballs and more twists and turns than a snake slithering away from a gator.
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
Meanwhile, Ken Bortle of Bortle Brothers Bait and Beer has hatched a scheme to lure tourists to his failing store by making viral videos of the “Everglades Melon Monster.” The Monster is, in fact, an unemployed alcoholic newspaperman named Phil wearing a Dora the Explorer costume head. Incredibly, this plan actually works, inspiring a horde of TikTokers to swarm into the swamp in search of the Monster at the same time villains are on the hunt for Jesse’s treasure. Amid this mayhem, a presidential hopeful arrives in the Everglades to start his campaign. Needless to say, it does not go as planned. In fact, nothing in this story goes as planned. This is, after all, Florida.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Dave Barry. All rights reserved. (P)2023 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 905
When the pandemic hit, nobody was expecting it to be as bad as it was. The economy barely survived the lockdowns, but it staggered along until civil unrest shattered people’s hope of better times to come. With it being an election year, more and more Americans were waking up to the idea that they truly were behind the curve. The hope was if they did not get sick, run out of money, or could avoid violent mobs, they would be fine.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Great idea, too crude.
- By Larry Amon on 01-13-21
By: Boyd Craven III
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Drawn
- By: James Hankins
- Narrated by: Gabrielle De Cuir, Paul Boehmer, Christian Rummel, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 454
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 414
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Story4 out of 5 stars 414
In Drawn, a mysterious little boy has begun appearing in the paintings of an artist who can't remember ever actually seeing him. A partially blind, disfigured agoraphobic who suffers crippling panic attacks if he even tries to leave his apartment is forced out by an unseen entity. A lonely widower begins to suffer terrifying nightmares that his long-missing, presumed-dead son is still alive and in mortal danger. A young runaway realizes that a man he thought was his traveling companion is actually his captor...and a predator.
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5 out of 5 stars
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So Worth a Credit!!!
- By Jan on 07-23-14
By: James Hankins
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The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek
- By: Rhett McLaughlin, Link Neal
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,128
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,843
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,838
At first, high school freshmen Rex McClendon and Leif Nelson believe what they’ve been told - that local students’ strange demises at Whitewood, a local reformatory, were all tragic accidents. But when the shoot for their low-budget horror masterpiece, PolterDog, goes horribly awry - and their best friend, Alicia Boykins, is sent to Whitewood - Rex and Leif are forced to question everything they know about their unassuming hometown and its cherished school for delinquents.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Does it hold up beyond the R&L fandom?
- By BrettM on 12-01-19
By: Rhett McLaughlin, and others
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United States of Apocalypse
- By: Mark Tufo, Armand Rosamilia
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette, Julia Whelan
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,484
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,317
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,306
When World War 3 erupts on American soil, it is up to some less than likely heroes to band together and stand tall against any and all comers as a once proud nation is brought to her knees. Cowardly terrorist attacks and indifferent global communities have isolated America as she spirals into a desperate bid for survival.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Can we please leave the leftist rhetoric out of my books?
- By Laura D. on 04-25-21
By: Mark Tufo, and others
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Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 20,474
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 18,503
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 18,476
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
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A Bright Shore
- The Eden Chronicles, Book 1
- By: S.M. Anderson
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 501
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 432
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 431
The West's own governments are giving up, have already lost, or are leading the charge to something else. This doesn't sit well with those who believe in liberty. This is the story of a people who have lost the political fight, they've lost the culture wars, they haven't seen a level playing field in a generation, and they are about to be made serfs. None of that matters. They're leaving....
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3 out of 5 stars
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Interesting Take on Dystopian (socialist) Future
- By VaDavid on 08-04-20
By: S.M. Anderson
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The Answer Is No
- A Short Story
- By: Fredrik Backman, Elizabeth DeNoma - translator
- Narrated by: Stacy Gonzalez
- Length: 1 hr and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 688
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 654
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Story4 out of 5 stars 654
Lucas knows the perfect night entails just three things: video games, wine, and pad thai. Peanuts are a must! Other people? Not so much. Why complicate things when he’s happy alone? Then one day the apartment board, a vexing trio of authority, rings his doorbell. And Lucas’s solitude takes a startling hike. They demand to see his frying pan. Someone left one next to the recycling room overnight, and instead of removing the errant object, as Lucas suggests, they insist on finding the guilty party. But their plan backfires. Colossally.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator doesn’t get Backman’s satire or rhythm
- By joey1603 on 12-01-24
By: Fredrik Backman, and others
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Stranded
- By: Chris Bruno, David Howard Lee, Shukri R. Abdi
- Narrated by: Taraji P. Henson, Tracee Ellis Ross, Blake Griffin, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,234
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2,200
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,200
Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Get ready to Laugh
- By Lasheree McFarlane on 11-08-24
By: Chris Bruno, and others
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The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,692
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,644
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,644
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall5 out of 5 stars 215,611
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 195,061
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Story5 out of 5 stars 194,092
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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4 out of 5 stars
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Best. State. Ever.
- A Florida Man Defends His Homeland
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We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Most. Annoying. Narration. Ever.
- By Triple A on 06-21-17
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A chain of events that will change the lives of each and every character will leave some of them wiser, some of them deader, and some of them definitely looking for a new line of work. With a wicked wit, razor-sharp observations, rich characters, and a plot with more twists than the Inland Waterway, Dave Barry makes his debut a complete and utter triumph.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Classic Barry at his Best
- By Scott on 09-18-08
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- By: Dave Barry
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Tupperware ladies, eighties people, and leisure concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe! In this collection of eighty essays, the inimitable columnist observes everything that makes America the unique, special place you've grown to love: taxes, toilets, airbags, baseball, beer commercials, and numerous other American artifacts.
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5 out of 5 stars
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sooo funny !!
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a hoot!
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4 out of 5 stars
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