Starving in Search of Me

By: Marissa LaRocca

Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller

This confessional self-help guide explores the complex emotional truth of what it’s like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. Activist author Marissa LaRocca’s revelatory tale includes her struggle with her secrets, including sexuality, and how she emerged as an outspoken advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues.

Many young women and girls struggle with the body image issues that engender eating disorders with elaborate rituals around food, binging, purging, and hiding it all while trying to maintain a face of normalcy to the world. Anorexia and bulimia have become major national health crises, with skyrocketing statistics indicating that between 3 and 5 percent of the population suffer anorexia nervosa alone. Sadly, many never attain the sense of being “normal” and deal with a lifetime of body image and self-esteem issues.

This intimate account of courage and the search for truth and meaning will have you rooting for Marissa LaRocca as she unravels the emotional layers of her own battle with food, body image, and sexuality. Readers of this riveting memoir will relate to the coming-of-age story of a young woman confronting some of life’s major issues while living, for a time, in two closets: one to hide her eating disorder and one to hide her sexuality and very identity. Echoes of Portia de Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness resound in LaRocca’s portrait of a life seemingly lived out in the open but, in truth, very much concealed.

Through her inspiring triumphs and revelations, activist and author Marissa LaRocca invites readers to confront themselves. She asks, “What if, at the root of all ‘disorders’, is the refusal to acknowledge or permit certain feelings - feelings that, if witnessed, have the power to free their sufferers? To what extent are ‘disorders’ actually doorways to helping us understand the truth about our lives?”

In addition to her personal story, LaRocca takes a close look at society’s role in the development of eating disorders and other mental health challenges, establishing that the prevalence of such “illnesses” represent a collective yearning for connection, acceptance, and emotional nourishment among generations that are starving for so many things. Starving in Search of Me resolves with hope and an abundance of insights, tools, and resources to support eating disorder sufferers and members of the LGBTQ community alike. It’s a head-on journey toward total self-acceptance that will nourish the spirit and inspire readers to embrace their differences and nurture their authentic selves.

©2018 Marissa LaRocca (P)2018 Blackstone Audio

Refreshing take from a Queer Perspective

I enjoyed this book specifically in the way the authors sexuality played into their disordered eating. I have read many memoirs with EDs being the commonality, but it is rare to see someone who does not identify as heterosexual and I appreciate the representation. I would have enjoyed more details regarding how and what tools the author used to find recovery. I found this story to be heavy in the past tense qnd somewhat lacking in the present/future. really loves the lists and tools incorporated throughout though!

ED recovery

It’s pretty good! She likes listing things- very organized. I liked the narrative aspect of the beginning about her suffering from her eating disorder. I found it easy to relate. I like the end- bits are more advice and help to overcome an eating disorder/ addiction. It’s helpful and insightful- not too clinical at times books get preachy, and too clinical— not the case for this. I had many take away and enjoyed it

Raw and Relatable

I love the realness Marissa brought to this book. She didn't sugar coat the reason behind her struggles. I could relate on a deep level of understanding, because I struggle in silent, with these things myself. The book was beautifully written, and helped me go into deep thinking on what I can do to help myself, and change my own life and future. I would even recommend this to anyone who even struggles with body dysmorphic disorder, or general anxiety. It's more than a story about an eating disorder. It's a book about taking your life back, and learning to love yourself!

Pretty good!

I will say that there’s a trigger warning: binging, purging, etc.
obviously considering the books title.

I enjoyed this book because I learned as I followed the story of the writer. I learned a lot about disordered eating. At the end of the book, the author reflects on her journey which is a bit eye opening. As a clinician, this book painted a great picture of what my clients struggle with every day. I fully recommend this to others who work with this population or know someone struggling or if you’re just becoming more aware.

Preachy

Only about 1/3rd of this book relates to her eating disorder directly. The other parts were good, but not exactly what I had signed up for. May have liked it more if I knew I was getting into something with a more 'self help' kind of vibe.

Eating disorder

The author shares her eating disorder experiences and relates it with gender fluidity journey. It’s kind.

Read it (:

Loved it. Such an honest and thoughtful evaluation of the factors that precipitate and perpetuate eating disorders, and the many roles they play in the lives of those affected. As a former people-pleaser myself, the author's journey to assert her identity and come to terms with having a right to her appetites is both moving and provocative. A helpful perspective for anyone working through disordered eating.

YD

The author is the same age as me and i have all the same thoughts and experienced all the same things. I am very grateful for this book. This is a great relief to read it. It inspires, empowers and gives hope.

lots of good takeaways

I found it very relatable and insightful having battled an eating disorder most of my life. I do have more conservative values and viewpoints that caused me less interest toward the end of the book

INCREDIBLE

This is a must-read even if you do not have an eating disorder. This book covers addictions, sexual identity, gender, and other struggles. I even bought the book so that i could read some of the parts or all of the book again.