Squeeze Me

A Novel

By: Carl Hiaasen

Narrated by: Scott Brick

NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER • A hilarious novel of social and political intrigue, set against the glittering backdrop of Florida’s gold coast, from the author of Skinny Dip and Razor Girl

“If you could use some wild escapism right now, Hiaasen is your guy.” —The New York Times

WITH A NEW EPILOGUE

At the height of Palm Beach’s charity ball season, Kiki Pew Fitzsimmons, a prominent member of geriatric high society, suddenly vanishes during a swank gala. Kiki Pew was a founding member of the Potussies, a group of women dedicated to supporting the President, who spends half the year at the “Winter White House” just down the road. Meanwhile, Angie Armstrong, wildlife wrangler extraordinaire, is called to the island to deal with a monster-sized Burmese python that has taken residency in a tree. But the President is focused on the disappearance of Kiki Pew. Never one to miss an opportunity to play to his base, he immediately declares her a victim of rampaging immigrant hordes. This, it turns out, is far from the truth, which now lies in the middle of the road, where a bizarre discovery brings the First Lady’s motorcade to a grinding halt. Irreverent, ingenious, and uproariously entertaining, Squeeze Me perfectly captures the absurdity of our times.

©2020 Carl Hiaasen (P)2020 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Carl Hiaasen remains the undefeated, unscored-upon conscience of Florida, maybe the conscience of the whole country. I laughed and laughed and laughed while I read Squeeze Me - until I remembered, hey, I live in Palm Beach! Oh yeah, spoiler alert - the python did it.” (James Patterson)

"By the evidence of the scabrous and unrelentingly hilarious Squeeze Me, the Trump era is truly Carl Hiaasen’s moment... Just dive in and have a wonderful time." (Richard Lipez, The Washington Post)

"Novelists, like the rest of us, can’t look away from the Trump administration. Unfortunately, they haven’t found much interesting to say about it. Carl Hiaasen’s thriller Squeeze Me is, blessedly, an exception ... Hiaasen is clear-eyed: He meets the president on his subterranean level ... Squeeze Me is funny, but as with Hiaasen’s best work, it’s grounded in genuine outrage over the corruption that increasingly defines American political and cultural life. And it turns out there’s no better place to invoke that outrage than the wealthy swamps of Florida." (Alex Shephard, The New Republic)

Good author gone bad

Carl knows how to write, and his Florida-crazy books are always entertaining. Till now. Now he's crazy with Trump-hatred. I'm returning the book.

Hiassen has Done it Again, He had me laughing

I have read in hardcover or listened in audible to every novel Carl Hiassen has written, but Squeeze Me may be his BEST. I laughed from the beginning to the end. He creates crazy and quirky characters, always in detail. The narration was superb. I have already recommended this audible to a dozen friends. During these crazy covid times, Squeeze Me was such an refreshing and funny treat. If I could I would give this TEN STARS !! Ron C in Boston

So good!

Funny, timely. Exactly what I needed. And the narration is spot on. A big top hat off.

Another Hiaasen classic!

Carl Hiaasen has been my favorite author for decades, and he really knocked it out of the park with "Squeeze Me." His timing couldn't be better for this wonderful satire that is so close to reality it's scary. I love his character Angie Armstrong, and I am thrilled to see he brought back Skink, my favorite Hiaasen character by far! I hope Carl never stops writing. I need his humor and talented story telling to get me through life.

For those who have not read all of his books, I recommend you get started now, and go through his entire collection. He has been calling for environmental and social justice from the beginning of his career. I also highly recommend his book "Team Rodent." Carl writes non-fiction just as well as he creates his wonderful stories to teach us about the fragile ecosystem in Florida.

Skink & Angie

It’s all Skink & Angie. The rest is hilarious absurd BS. Laugh out loud at times and grin and bare it other times.

Fall on the floor funny

Really hysterical and you can visualize everything Hiaasen writes about.
Your eyes will tear up at the descriptive threats of “ waxed nutsacks”

A pure delight!

This book was recommended by a friend. Not having read anything by Carl Hiaasen before I wasn't prepared for the sheer delight I would experience whenever I was able to listen. Plenty of thinly veiled characters mimicking real life, mention of the pandemic, and a glimpse into the privileged life of wealthy Palm Beach patrons who hob nob with the president. Loved the writing which was truly enhanced by the reader. I know I'll be chuckling about this one for days to come.

Fabulous Satire

If you are not a fan of 45, this book is for you. What a perfect portrayal of the idiot that occupied the White House. The humor is fantastic and very entertaining. Highly recommend for enjoyable listening.

Laugh out loud funny

I’m a Hiaasen fan, and this book tickled me. Stupid villains, poetic justice, a reappearance by a couple of my favorite characters, and wit that skewers some of Palm Beach’s most notorious residents. Thanks, may I have another?

Bwaaahaaa

Loved this book with all of the nicknames. I was wondering when Jim and Shink we’re going to make an appearance and Carl did not disappoint. Thank you Sir!!!