Simon & Emily Are Going to Hell
A Love Story (Sort Of)
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Simon & Emily Are Going to Hell
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Narrated by:
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Lee J Isserow
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By:
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Lee J Isserow
About this listen
Simon & Emily are in love. They're also damned to hell.
It's complicated, but trust me, I'll walk you through the details.
Perhaps I should introduce myself:
Hi, I'm your narrator, and I talk too much. However, this is a story that requires lots of words to be told, lots of tangents, and far too many expletives.
Jane Austen, this is not.
In this tome, you'll find Faustian deals, sex, expletives, comedy, tragedy, expletives, comedy, horror, comedy, and expletives.
And it's funny; did I mention it's funny?
Also, the world ends and the heroes go to hell.
Spoiler alert
©2016 Lee Isserow (P)2016 Lee IsserowListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,808
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,660
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Story4 out of 5 stars 1,660
Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
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The Collectors' Society
- The Collectors' Society, Book 1
- By: Heather Lyons
- Narrated by: Gemma Dawson
- Length: 12 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 97
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 89
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 89
After years in Wonderland, Alice has returned to England as an adult, desperate to reclaim sanity and control over her life. An enigmatic gentleman with an intriguing job offer too tempting to resist changes her plans for a calm existence. Soon, she's whisked to New York and initiated into the Collectors' Society, a secret organization whose members confirm that famous stories are anything but straightforward and that what she knows about the world is only a fraction of the truth.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A true adventure full of the classics!
- By evelyn torres on 06-17-17
By: Heather Lyons
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A Fraction of the Whole
- By: Steve Toltz
- Narrated by: Colin McPhillamy, Craig Baldwin
- Length: 25 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 230
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 143
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 145
Stewing in an Australian prison, Jasper Dean reflects on his relationship with his dead father and recounts the many zany adventures they shared together.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Funny and Thought-provoking Tale of Human Nature
- By Asha Ember on 01-27-10
By: Steve Toltz
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Superheroes
- By: Peter S. Beagle, Daryl Gregory, James Patrick Kelly, and others
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman, Joe Barrett, Christina Delaine, and others
- Length: 17 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 169
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 149
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Story4 out of 5 stars 148
Modern gods and goddesses, remote, revered - and like the pantheon of heroes and heroines of ancient myth - possessing great power tempered with flaws. Now, find within this anthology great tales by gifted and award-winning authors who move superheroes from the four-color panels of comic books to the fantastic pages of fiction, stories that will remind anyone who ever wanted to wear a cape or don a cowl of the extraordinary powers of the imagination!
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1 out of 5 stars
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Pretentious tired old concepts
- By BookofJoy on 12-29-14
By: Peter S. Beagle, and others
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The Ultimate Gift
- By: Jim Stovall
- Narrated by: Tom Bosley
- Length: 2 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 562
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 475
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 474
Red Stevens has died, and the older members of his family receive their millions with greedy anticipation. But a different fate awaits young Jason, whom Stevens, his great-uncle, believes may be the last vestige of hope in the family. Jason does not become an instant millionaire. What Stevens does give Jason leads to The Ultimate Gift. Young and old will take this timeless tale to heart.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A Delightful Story Well Told!
- By Daniel Wms on 07-14-15
By: Jim Stovall
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The Gift
- By: Cecelia Ahern
- Narrated by: Kevin Kearns
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 41
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 41
Extremely successful executive Lou Suffern is always overstretched, immune to the holiday spirit that delights everyone around him. The classic workaholic who never has a moment to spare, he is always multitasking while shortchanging his devoted wife and their adorable children. And ever since he started competing for a big promotion, he has barely seen his family at all. One frigid morning, in an uncharacteristic burst of generosity, he buys a cup of coffee for Gabe, a homeless man huddled outside his office building.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Well-Written and a Great Listen!
- By Despurlock on 11-14-17
By: Cecelia Ahern
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Beautiful Addictions
- By: Season Vining
- Narrated by: Susannah Jones
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 49
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 42
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Story4 out of 5 stars 42
Josie Banks is a girl without a past. After being found unconscious with no memory, she was shuffled in and out of foster homes where she suffered years of abuse - an experience that left her broken, damaged, and clinging to drugs and meaningless hook-ups to numb her pain. When Josie disappeared years ago, she took a piece of Tristan with her. She’s the girl he thought he lost forever - the one he’s never been able to forget. Now a twist of fate has brought them back together, and he never wants to let her out of his inked arms again.
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5 out of 5 stars
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you will feel so many emotions threw out this book
- By sydney on 06-12-14
By: Season Vining
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Mystery Man
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Stephen Armstrong
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 99
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 78
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 77
He’s the Man With No Name and the owner of No Alibis, a mystery bookshop in Belfast. But when a detective agency next door goes bust, the agency’s clients start calling into his shop asking him to solve their cases. It’s not as if there’s any danger involved. It’s an easy way to sell books to his gullible customers and Alison, the beautiful girl in the jewellery shop across the road, will surely be impressed. Except she’s not – because she can see the bigger picture.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Mystery, humor & literary nuances - GREAT
- By Toby on 09-06-13
By: Colin Bateman
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The Ferryman Institute
- A Novel
- By: Colin Gigl
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 14 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 68
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 64
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 63
Ferryman Charlie Dawson saves dead people - somebody has to convince them to move on to the afterlife, after all. Having never failed a single assignment, he's acquired a reputation for success that's as legendary as it is unwanted. It turns out that serving as a Ferryman is causing Charlie to slowly lose his mind. Deemed too valuable by the Ferryman Institute to be let go and too stubborn to just give up in his own right, Charlie's pretty much abandoned all hope of escaping his grim existence. Or he had, anyway, until he saved Alice Spiegel.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Narrator does not capture tone of the story
- By Jessica Bell on 03-15-17
By: Colin Gigl
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Dr Yes
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Stephen Armstrong
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 39
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
The hilarious new Mystery Man crime caper from the master of menace and mirth. Beauty is in the eye of the be header. The wife of crime writer Augustine Wogan disappeared shortly after entering the exclusive clinic of the mysterious Dr Yes, plastic surgeon extraordinaire. As fatherhood approaches, the Small Bookseller with No Name is persuaded to investigate. He soon finds himself up to his neck in murder, make-up and madness - and face to face with the most gruesome serial killer since the last one.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun diversion from the usual fair
- By Dennis on 11-09-12
By: Colin Bateman
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An Unattractive Vampire
- By: Jim McDoniel
- Narrated by: Drew Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 2,598
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,405
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Story4 out of 5 stars 2,404
After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Blood, Guts and lots of laughs!
- By Aaron on 08-27-16
By: Jim McDoniel
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Borderline
- The Arcadia Project, Book 1
- By: Mishell Baker
- Narrated by: Arden Hammersmith
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 324
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 300
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 299
A year ago Millie lost her legs and her filmmaking career in a failed suicide attempt. Just when she's sure the credits have rolled on her life story, she gets a second chance with the Arcadia Project: a secret organization that polices the traffic to and from a parallel reality filled with creatures straight out of myth and fairy tales. For her first assignment, Millie is tasked with tracking down a missing movie star who also happens to be a nobleman of the Seelie Court.
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5 out of 5 stars
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It's the characters
- By Ken Schneyer on 02-11-17
By: Mishell Baker
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The White Devil
- By: Justin Evans
- Narrated by: Christian Coulson
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 55
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 46
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Story4 out of 5 stars 46
The Harrow School is home to privileged adolescents known as much for their distinctive dress and traditions as for their arrogance and schoolboy cruelty. Seventeen-year-old American Andrew Taylor is enrolled in the esteemed British institution by his father, who hopes that the school's discipline will put some distance between his son and his troubled past in the States. But trouble - and danger - seem to follow Andrew. When one of his schoolmates and friends dies mysteriously of a severe pulmonary illness, Andrew is blamed and is soon an outcast....
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4 out of 5 stars
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Eerie tale, well read
- By MJ on 12-21-11
By: Justin Evans
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Gods Behaving Badly
- By: Marie Phillips
- Narrated by: Rosalyn Landor
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 445
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 289
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Story4 out of 5 stars 289
Being immortal is not all it once was. Yes, the 12 Greek gods of Olympus are alive and well in the 21st century, but they are crammed together in a London town house: and are none too happy about it. Even more disturbing, their powers are waning.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Delightful fantasy
- By Mike From Mesa on 12-29-07
By: Marie Phillips
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Are You Watching Me?
- DS Claire Boyle, Book 2
- By: Sinead Crowley
- Narrated by: Aoife McMahon
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 43
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 38
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Story4 out of 5 stars 38
Dear Elizabeth, I've been watching you. I hope to see you...soon. Liz Cafferky is on the up. Rescued from her dark past by the owner of a drop-in centre for older men, Liz soon finds herself as the charity's face - and the unwilling darling of the Dublin media. Amidst her claustrophobic fame, Liz barely notices a letter from a new fan. But then one of the centre's clients is brutally murdered, and Elizabeth receives another, more sinister note. Running from her own ghosts, Liz is too scared to go to the police.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fantastic!!
- By Brett McAteer on 03-06-19
By: Sinead Crowley
What listeners say about Simon & Emily Are Going to Hell
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bethany
- 05-29-16
Refreshing author & narrator
I laughed hard throughout this story. Superb imagery and fitting narration. I will look for more from this author
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