Sexless in the City

A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex

By: Kat Harris

Narrated by: Kat Harris

Discover a renewed biblical vision for sex, singleness, and relationships, and transform into an empowered woman of faith equipped to navigate today's dating culture with vision, clarity, and freedom.

Let's face it: Being single in today's culture as a woman of faith can be a struggle fest. But it doesn't have to be. With real talk and straight wisdom, speaker, podcaster, and founder of The Refined Woman Kat Harris says it's time for a new conversation about singleness, sex, and desire.

Growing up at the height of the purity movement, Kat knew this much: Good Christians don't have sex until marriage. But approaching 30 and thrust into the New York City dating scene, she found a set of rules was not a compelling enough reason to keep her clothes on. Caught between purity culture's rules and popular culture's do what feels good, Kat began a multi-year journey searching for answers to the biggest questions about sexuality and faith:

• What does the Bible really say about sex?
• Why does almost everyone deal with some sort of sexual shame?
• But really - what's a single girl to do with her sexual desire?
• What if we never get married...then what?

It turns out Kat was asking questions that countless women were dying to ask, but didn't know they had the permission to do so. Hungry for clarity, she researched, wrestled, and discovered a God who wasn't afraid or ashamed of sex and desire as she thought he might be. In actuality, God created sex and desire within humanity and called it very good. Now, she believes God desires to restore a generation disillusioned with purity culture and Christian dating, discouraged about their singleness, ashamed of their sexual desire, and uncertain how to practically walk this season out well.

Join Kat on her messy, sometimes painful, and always honest journey to discovering God's heart for sexuality, desire, singleness, and our purpose within it all.

Discussion questions and accompanying table are available in the audiobook companion PDF download.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2021 Kat Harris (P)2021 Zondervan

Relevant and real

Very open and honest. This shows God’s real heart, very real and relevant for today’s singles!

Bought two- on purpose!

This book is amazing!!! I loved it so much I bought it again in hard copy. Growing up in purity culture I can say I am a lover of God who values purity but is sick of living a “because I said so” life when it comes to my beliefs on both of these things. Kat did a beautiful job of delving into these topics from a Biblical, logical, personal, practical, scientific, and vulnerable position...this is the kind of book the world needs more of.

Unbelievable!

This book is the book the church needs right now! I finished reading this book feeling empowered and curious. I want to know more, to open the Bible and to sit with Jesus is prayer! Free people, free people. So outstanding!

So real

I loved it! I coulf relate to so much of what she was saying. It was almost like she was reading my story. She gave practical steps on how to do better. Which made me have to actually face myself, and acknowledge Who I am as a Christian woman. I am so thankful for this special work! It made me feel seen, understood, but most of all it made me better! I will definitely recommend my single friends to take a look 😁

Sexual and physical attraction are non-negotiables

I thought this book would help me to cope with being abstinent. It was soooo much more! The shame is not yours to own!

Cannot recommend more!

When your friend recommends a book, you give it a read. This one did not disappoint. Not only did it tackle “purity culture” head on but it deconstructed and reconstructed the ideas behind sex, sexuality, and identity as they stem from Christ. Great nuggets to mull over for single and married individuals alike.

Amazing!

It’s hard to put it all into words, but I feel like I could have written many of these chapters myself. Meaning I completely relate to and have felt many of the ways Kat has felt. I’ve asked a lot of the same questions and at 37, am really just discovering many of the lies and fear that have held me back from relationships without my knowledge. This audiobook, read by the author is engaging, encouraging, affirming and thought provoking. It was exactly what I needed at this point in time, as I have been on a journey of discovering what she talks about in the book over the past few years. I love her honesty and bravery in saying the things others have not been able to say. Women from the purity movement need to read this book so they can move on with their lives and fully embrace all that God has. Amazing! Thank you, Kat!!

Snaps for Kat

This was a great book and so much fun hearing Kat read it out loud. I’ve been listening to Kat’s podcast The Refined Collective for over two years and she always encourages me to go beyond my comfort zones and never shys away from discussing difficult topics that others in the Christian realm do shy away from. Thank you Kat for boldly and courageously putting your journey on display for us all to hear!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You

This book is amazing and a total God sent it met me right where I was at and it gave me some direction. I have been living stuck for so long and now I am going to look at myself and look to God for some answers instead of just sitting and waiting. I have to do some work on me thank You so very much for letting God use you and your life 🧬 to help me. May God richly bless your life and who God has for you.

A book for anyone and everyone!

The honesty, the wit/humor, and the message is for anyone who is single, engaged, or married because we all know single girls and most of us struggle to talk to them/ourselves about sex and what we were taught about it growing up. I love the fact that this isn't a book to convince anyone to be like the author, but it opens up the conversations that need to happen no matter what your beliefs are both on religion and sex.