Scream Bloody Cheerleader: The Novel
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Scream Bloody Cheerleader: The Novel
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Narrated by:
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Matthew Crow
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By:
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Jeff Thomson
About this listen
Lock up your political correctness and join in the fun of a movie within a movie, within a novel, wrapped in a blood-soaked blanket of senselessly gratuitous nudity and violence; a spoof of 80s slasher movies that leaves no cliché unmolested.
©2020 Jeff Thomson (P)2021 Jeff ThomsonListeners also enjoyed...
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 51
"Investigation, Mediation, Vindication." That's how the Yellow Pages ad starts, and if it sounds like the sort of thing a drunk teenager might come up with . . . well, you'd only be wrong about the teenager part. John Smith owns San Diego's smallest private investigation firm, but he doesn't know the first thing about mediation. Or vindication.
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5 out of 5 stars
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What a surprise find
- By nightmare on 09-29-23
By: Chris Tullbane
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Kill Someone
- By: Luke Smitherd
- Narrated by: Matt Addis
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 353
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 322
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Story4 out of 5 stars 322
From the author of the international best seller The Stone Man, short-listed for Audible UK's Book of the Year Award 2015. Here are the rules. Method: you can't use a gun. You can't use explosives. You can't use poison. It has to be up close and personal. You don't have to worry about leaving evidence; that will be taken care of. Victim: no one suicidal. No one over the age of 65. No one with a terminal illness. Choose your method. Choose your victim.
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5 out of 5 stars
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The Good of the Many is More Important...Or is it?
- By JoanneG on 12-06-16
By: Luke Smitherd
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So Not a Hero
- By: S. J. Delos
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 499
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 456
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Story4 out of 5 stars 456
After serving two years in a federal prison, Karen Hashimoto is out on parole and eager to put her criminal past behind her. No easy task, since she's also the former supervillain known as Crushette. A chance encounter leads to an unexpected opportunity, and she is recruited as the newest member of the city's premier team of superheroes: The Good Guys.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Graphic Suprrhero Sex
- By The Blue Canary on 05-17-16
By: S. J. Delos
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Heroine Complex
- By: Sarah Kuhn
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 12 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4 out of 5 stars 32
Evie Tanaka is the put-upon personal assistant to Aveda Jupiter, her childhood best friend and San Francisco’s most beloved superheroine. She’s great at her job - blending into the background, handling her boss’s epic diva tantrums, and getting demon blood out of leather pants. Unfortunately, she’s not nearly as together when it comes to running her own life, standing up for herself, or raising her tempestuous teenage sister, Bea.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Fun coming of age story
- By Carl W Fratus on 10-22-20
By: Sarah Kuhn
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Maybe the Moon
- By: Armistead Maupin
- Narrated by: Armistead Maupin
- Length: 5 hrs and 50 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 60
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 44
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Story4 out of 5 stars 44
All of 31 inches tall, Cady is a true survivor in a town where, as she says, "you can die of encouragement". Her early starring role as a lovable elf in an immensely popular American film proved a major disappointment, since moviegoers never saw the face behind the stifling rubber suit she was required to wear. Now, after a decade of hollow promises from the Industry, she is reduced to performing at birthday parties and bat mitzvahs as she waits for the miracle that will finally make her a star.
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4 out of 5 stars
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short but good
- By Charlene on 08-06-07
By: Armistead Maupin
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Kiss Her Goodbye
- A Fourth Dimension Thriller
- By: Robert Gregory Browne
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 142
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 130
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Story4 out of 5 stars 127
All ATF Agent Jack Donovan wants out of life is to do his job and work on his strained relationship with his daughter Jessie after a nasty divorce. But in a ruthless act of revenge by a charismatic madman, Jessie is kidnapped and buried alive, with barely enough oxygen to sustain her. Now the only man who can save her, the only man who knows where to find her, has just been shot dead - and the clock is ticking... So what's a father to do?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Super supernatural thriller
- By shelley on 02-02-14
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No Ordinary Life
- By: Suzanne Redfearn
- Narrated by: Whitney Dykhouse
- Length: 12 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 244
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 221
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 220
Faye Martin never expected her husband to abandon her and their three children...or that she'd have to struggle every day to make ends meet. So when her 4-year-old daughter is discovered through a YouTube video and offered a starring role on a television series, it seems like her prayers have been answered. But when the reality of their new life settles in, Faye realizes that fame and fortune don't come without a price.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Interesting story
- By Smockingmama on 03-21-21
By: Suzanne Redfearn
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The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek
- By: Rhett McLaughlin, Link Neal
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,121
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,841
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,836
At first, high school freshmen Rex McClendon and Leif Nelson believe what they’ve been told - that local students’ strange demises at Whitewood, a local reformatory, were all tragic accidents. But when the shoot for their low-budget horror masterpiece, PolterDog, goes horribly awry - and their best friend, Alicia Boykins, is sent to Whitewood - Rex and Leif are forced to question everything they know about their unassuming hometown and its cherished school for delinquents.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Does it hold up beyond the R&L fandom?
- By BrettM on 12-01-19
By: Rhett McLaughlin, and others
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Myth Protector
- Myth Protector, Book 1
- By: Jamie Hawke
- Narrated by: Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 873
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 780
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Story4 out of 5 stars 781
All I wanted to do was take a break from college to check out LegendFest, some good ol' cosplay, and maybe find a lady to hit it off with. My life took a new direction, though, when I found out myths like Red Riding Hood are real, and they’re in an ongoing war against evil to save us all. More than that, they are being hunted, mistaken as humanity's enemy. They need a mortal to serve as their protector, someone to keep them out of harm's way while leading the battle against the likes of the Big Bad Wolf, Baba Yaga, and other evil legends. Now, I am that protector.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Sex obsessed author
- By Michael H on 03-15-21
By: Jamie Hawke
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The Hum and the Shiver
- The Tufa Novels, Book 1
- By: Alex Bledsoe
- Narrated by: Emily Janice Card, Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,299
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,182
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,185
No one knows where the Tufa came from or how they ended up in the mountains of east Tennessee. When the first Europeans came to the Smoky Mountains, the Tufa were already there. Dark-haired and enigmatic, they live quietly in the hills and valleys of Cloud County, their origins lost to history. But there are clues in their music, hidden in the songs they have passed down for generations.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Excellent story that combines music and folklore
- By T. L. Walker on 10-01-15
By: Alex Bledsoe
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Good Intentions
- By: Elliott Kay
- Narrated by: Tess Irondale
- Length: 22 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,163
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,823
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,823
He knew it was a dumb stunt from the start. A midnight run through a cemetery to impress a couple of girls isn't the stuff of legend, but Alex Carlisle longs to escape the crushing mediocrity of life after high school. Then, he stumbles upon the ritual, the cultists, and two bound and bloodied women. Alex intervenes, and the ritual blows up in his face, leaving him bound to them both: Rachel and Lorelei, an angel and a succubus.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Read the Warning Label!
- By C. Williams on 08-31-15
By: Elliott Kay
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Nightshades
- A Paranormal Thriller (Nightshades, Book 1)
- By: Melissa F. Olson
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 4 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 342
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 301
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Story4 out of 5 stars 299
Alex McKenna is the new Special Agent in Charge of the Chicago office of the Bureau of Preternatural Investigations - the division tasked with investigating crimes involving shades. Or vampires, as they're more widely known. Children have been going missing, and agents are routinely being slaughtered. It's up to McKenna, and some unlikely allies, to get to the bottom of the problem, and find the kids before it's too late.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Fun, with enough novelty to be interesting
- By S. Yates on 01-27-18
By: Melissa F. Olson
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Spying in High Heels
- By: Gemma Halliday
- Narrated by: Caroline Shaffer
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 837
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 755
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Story4 out of 5 stars 757
LA shoe designer Maddie Springer lives her life by three rules: Fashion. Fashion. Fashion. But when she stumbles upon the work of a brutal killer, her life takes an unexpected turn from Manolos to murder. And things only get worse when her boyfriend disappears - along with $20 million in embezzled funds - and her every move is suddenly under scrutiny by the LAPD's sexiest cop. With the help of her post-menopausal bridezilla of a mother, a 300-pound psychic, and one seriously oversexed best friend, Maddie finds herself stepping out of her stilettos and onto the trail of a murderer.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Very fun listen
- By Annette on 08-05-12
By: Gemma Halliday
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Graveyard Shift
- By: Michael F. Haspil
- Narrated by: Michael Kramer
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 427
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 399
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 397
Alex Menkaure, former pharaoh and mummy, and his vampire partner, Marcus, born in ancient Rome, are vice cops in a special Miami police unit. They fight to keep the streets safe from criminal vampires, shape-shifters, bootleg blood dealers, and anti-vampire vigilantes. When poisoned artificial blood drives vampires to murder, the city threatens to tear itself apart. Only an unlikely alliance with former opponents can give Alex and Marcus a fighting chance against an ancient vampire conspiracy.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vampires and humans living in harmony?
- By Anne on 03-23-18
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Second String Savior
- From the Tome of Bill Universe (False Icons Series, Book 1)
- By: Rick Gualtieri, R.E. Carr
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 230
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 210
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 209
Imagine going to bed with mousy brown locks and waking up with a headful of supernova scarlet. It's a hot new look for me - literally, because it bursts into flames whenever I'm threatened. My magical makeover is all Gary's fault. I knew there was something off from the moment he transferred to my school. Go figure. He's a wizard with a trust fund and an inferiority complex. Now, thanks to him, I've graduated from high school bullies to supernatural terrors and that's not all. Fate has chosen me to face the legendary vampire destined to destroy the world.
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3 out of 5 stars
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think Tome of Bill for highschoolers
- By john moglia on 12-04-19
By: Rick Gualtieri, and others
What listeners say about Scream Bloody Cheerleader: The Novel
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance3 out of 5 stars
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Story2 out of 5 stars
- hexwolfx
- 03-23-22
Think Scream^Setire×100
The story was a gem among gem if satire stories that it should be read by everyone to see how its done right.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Tammy Hinspeter
- 02-10-23
Funny!
Seriously fun book! When I was growing up I loved watching campy scary movies like Friday the 13th, Scream & Halloween just to name a few. This book is just like that but even better because it's making fun of those types of movies! I totally recommend!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Mark Mackey
- 04-24-21
Scream Bloody Cheerleader: The Novel review
I actually enjoyed this. I could really see this actually being turned into a hilarious film.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jack Childress
- 04-05-22
Brilliant spoof!
As a fan of Airplane, The Naked Gun and Scary Movie, this book fits well into the genre. Jeff kept me laughing throughout! Ridiculous and gory, this is a book for horror fans and comedy fans alike! Don’t pass on this story!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- BigT
- 04-22-21
Total awesomeness
I’ve never laughed so hard this was a spectacular spoof of slasher movies and I loved listening to every minute of it
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- Kindle Customer, Susan Isenberg
- 04-27-21
Absolutely brillian narration!!!!
I have read the screenplay version, the newly novel version, and enjoyed both, but I have to say the audible version Matthew Crow brought the characters to life. I caught myself belly laughing at times. If you need to spend a few hours listening to some fun, this is the book for you. Jeff Thomson--great read and listen.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jason
- 06-17-21
Great Slasher Story
This was a very fun and enjoyable story. The narration is over the top in a comic way and the story is written to resemble a screen play to go with the movie within the book that is being filmed.
Funny and slightly graphic, but awesome story and great narration makes for a very good listen.
A review copy of this audiobook was given to me and I am leaving a voluntary and honest review.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- kutzkai
- 04-30-21
Over The Top Hilarious
This was a story that I enjoyed from beginning to end, It had me LoLing all the way through... It had great characters and great spoofing. The narration by Matthew Crow was as usual awesome... I would recommend this to others if they want to laugh their keister's off. I received this for free in an audiobook promotion, and this is my voluntary unbiased review.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Paraskevi
- 04-24-21
Funny, Funny, Funny
Whoa! All I can say is that this audiobook is over the top hilarious, you should be laughing your heinie off. Matthew Crow does an excellent job narrating. Thanks to Jeff Thomson for giving this old gal some comic relief.
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2 people found this helpful