Ryan the Heartless
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Ryan the Heartless
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Narrated by:
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Cherise Knapp
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By:
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Amanda Lash
About this listen
This is a work of humorous fantasy as well as political parody. Any persons who actually exist are public figures and depictions here are exaggerated and used for purposes of satire and political commentary as protected by law and the first amendment of the US Constitution.
This is the sequel to Donald Trump: Necromancer and I Was a Teenage Were-Panda. In this installment the heroic band of revolutionaries, including a scientist with a mechanical hand, a son of a titan, and a vampire folk singer, make a stealth raid on Capitol Hill and confront the evil Necromancer in Chief as well as a surprisingly formidable speaker of the house.
©2017 Amanda Lash (P)2017 Hyperbolic ProductionsListeners also enjoyed...
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love Bill's world
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One hundred and seventy-five years have passed since god quit on mankind. Without his blessing, Hell itself, along with the ancient power of The Deep, were unleashed upon the world. Two world wars and oceans of blood later, a balance was reached. Demonkind took its place as the ruling aristocracy. Mankind, thanks to its ability to create, fell to the position of working proletariat. Alive, but not living. Lucky us. Welcome to New Golgotha, the east coast supercity.
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4 out of 5 stars
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5 out of 5 stars
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5 out of 5 stars
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It is 500 years ago. A group of Spanish conquistadors searching for gold, led by a young and brilliant commander named Simon De Oliveras, land in the New World. What they find in this uncharted land is a treasure far more valuable: the Fountain of Youth. The Spaniards slaughter the Uzita, the Native American tribe who guard the precious waters that will keep the conquistadors young for centuries. But one escapes: Shako, the chief's fierce and beautiful daughter, who swears to avenge her people - a blood oath that spans more than five centuries.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not what I expected
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Sabina Kane doesn't really fit in. And being an assassin doesn't help matters. But she's never brought her work home. Until now. Sabina's latest mission is uncomfortably complex and threatens the fragile peace between the vampire and mage races. As she scrambles to figure out which side she's on, she uncovers a tangled political web, some nasty facts about her family, and some unexpected new talents. Any of these things could be worryingly life changing, but together they could be lethal.
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3 out of 5 stars
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So funny, you'll die!!!
- By Jason on 09-29-17
By: C. T. Phipps
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Blood Trinity
- The Belador Series, Book 1
- By: Sherrilyn Kenyon, Dianna Love
- Narrated by: Stephen Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 179
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 161
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 160
Atlanta has become the battlefield between human and demon. An outcast among Beladors, Evalle Kincaid has walked the line between human and beast her whole life. Her origins unknown, she’s on a quest to learn more about her past—and her future. When a demon claims a young woman in a terrifying attack and there’s no one else to blame, Evalle comes under suspicion and the only person who might help her is Storm, a sexy new agent with secrets of his own.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Had potential butt
- By BP on 01-07-24
By: Sherrilyn Kenyon, and others
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Almost Infamous
- A Supervillain Novel
- By: Matt Carter
- Narrated by: Nicholas Techosky
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,163
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,956
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,954
Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
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5 out of 5 stars
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I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-13-17
By: Matt Carter
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The Eternal World
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Farnsworth
- Narrated by: Tom Perkins
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 117
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 108
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Story4 out of 5 stars 107
It is 500 years ago. A group of Spanish conquistadors searching for gold, led by a young and brilliant commander named Simon De Oliveras, land in the New World. What they find in this uncharted land is a treasure far more valuable: the Fountain of Youth. The Spaniards slaughter the Uzita, the Native American tribe who guard the precious waters that will keep the conquistadors young for centuries. But one escapes: Shako, the chief's fierce and beautiful daughter, who swears to avenge her people - a blood oath that spans more than five centuries.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Not what I expected
- By cristina on 09-10-15
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Red-Headed Stepchild
- By: Jaye Wells
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 575
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 481
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Story4 out of 5 stars 482
Sabina Kane doesn't really fit in. And being an assassin doesn't help matters. But she's never brought her work home. Until now. Sabina's latest mission is uncomfortably complex and threatens the fragile peace between the vampire and mage races. As she scrambles to figure out which side she's on, she uncovers a tangled political web, some nasty facts about her family, and some unexpected new talents. Any of these things could be worryingly life changing, but together they could be lethal.
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1 out of 5 stars
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One of the Worst Books I've "Read"
- By BestBooksBestPrice on 09-12-12
By: Jaye Wells
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Horror, Humor, And Heroes
- By: Jim Bernheimer
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Kafer
- Length: 5 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 73
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 67
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Story4 out of 5 stars 67
Horror, Humor, and Heroes is a collection of twelve short stories, one novella, and a preview for my next novel that should contain enough variety to entertain you readers. Sample some of my finest offerings, such as - a guardian wolf fearing the coming of man, a producer willing to do anything to bring the first pay per view live werewolf hunt to the world, and a zombie running for congress.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Not bad but short stories shouldn't be this short.
- By C. B. Pemberton on 02-20-15
By: Jim Bernheimer
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All Those Explosions Were Someone Else's Fault
- By: James Alan Gardner
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 13 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 179
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 161
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Story4 out of 5 stars 161
Kim Lam is an ordinary college student until a freak scientific accident (what else?) transforms Kim and three housemates into Sparks - and drafts them into the never-ending war between the Light and Dark. They struggle to master their new abilities - and (of course) to design cool costumes and come up with great hero-names. Turns out that "accident" was just the first salvo in a Mad Genius's latest diabolical scheme. Now it's up to four newbie heroes to save the day, before they even have a chance to figure out what their team's name should be!
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great start to a new series!
- By Donaithnen on 11-16-17
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The Anime Trope System: Stone vs. Viper, Book 1
- A LitRPG (ATS)
- By: Alvin Atwater
- Narrated by: David Reimer
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 607
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 560
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 557
At the mercy of an unknown entity, Clyde gets tossed into the anime world. Yes, it exists, we just don't know it. There, he's declared the Stone, the anime main character. One day, he must kill the Viper, or else it's good-bye, Earth. This is the comedic tale of a young man vs. cliche anime tropes.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Potential squandered. Good concept, bad writing.
- By David on 01-26-20
By: Alvin Atwater
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Blood Scent
- Junkyard Druid Novellas, Book 1
- By: M. D. Massey
- Narrated by: Steven Barnett
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 198
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 184
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 183
After the loss of his girlfriend Jesse, druid-trained hunter Colin McCool swore off monster-hunting for good. Now a rogue vampire is killing the weak and defenseless in his city, and no one else seems to care enough to stop him. To end the slaughter, Colin has agreed to take up his sword one last time...but will this "one final job" be the death of him?
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2 out of 5 stars
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dont waste money
- By STACY GREEN on 12-23-18
By: M. D. Massey
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A Demon Bound
- Imp, Book 1
- By: Debra Dunbar
- Narrated by: Angela Rysk
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 967
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 889
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 883
Samantha Martin is an imp, enjoying an extended vacation from Hel. All she wants to do is drink beer by the pool, play mischievous pranks on the humans, and get her hot neighbor in the sack. It's a relaxing break from her infernal home as long as she manages to avoid the angels, who won't hesitate to execute her on sight. But when her naughty hellhound lands her in trouble with the local werewolf pack, Sam is blackmailed into helping track and catch a killer. The steps she must take to appease the werewolves will put her right in the crosshairs of the angels.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Slow narrator
- By daunetullina on 06-17-14
By: Debra Dunbar
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Bone Shop
- A Marla Mason Novel
- By: T. A. Pratt
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 223
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 195
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Story4 out of 5 stars 197
Marla Mason is the chief sorcerer of Felport, a woman who's tangled with gods and monsters and come out on top (if a bit damaged in the process). Bone Shop tells the story of Marla's evolution from runaway to sorcerer's apprentice to mercenary magician and beyond. Fans of the urban fantasy series from Bantam Spectra that began with Blood Engines will find surprising secrets revealed about Marla's past, and new listeners can get to know the character from the very beginning.
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3 out of 5 stars
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LIKE LIVING IN A FRAT HOUSE
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 07-12-17
By: T. A. Pratt
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Born in Fire
- Demon Days, Vampire Nights World, Book 1
- By: K.F. Breene
- Narrated by: Nicole Poole
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3,718
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,340
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 3,319
Supernatural Bounty Hunter isn't the sort of thing you see on LinkedIn. But with a rare type of magic like mine, I don't have many options. Dangerous or not, the job is mine. And it was going fine, until an old-as-sin vampire stole my mark, and with it, my pay day. Knowing I'm poor and desperate, he has offered me a job. I'll have to work by his side to help solve a top secret case. Everyone knows not to trust vampires. Especially a hot elder vampire.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining New Series
- By HWin on 06-23-17
By: K.F. Breene
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Histories
- A Quincy Harker, Demon Hunter Short Story Collection (Quincy Harker Collection)
- By: John G. Hartness
- Narrated by: James Anderson Foster
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall5 out of 5 stars 80
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 73
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Story5 out of 5 stars 73
An attack in the dark. The loss of a love. Waking up hung over in a ditch. These are the things that make a hero, especially if that hero is Quincy Harker, immortal wizard, snarky bastard, and general badass. Histories collects two short stories and one short novella giving a peek behind the curtain at the man, the myth, the legend that is Quincy Harker, as well as the origin story of one of his most popular cohorts, Jo Henry.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Great for newcomers and Harker fans
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-11-22
By: John G. Hartness
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Goddess with a Blade
- By: Lauren Dane
- Narrated by: Eve Bianco
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 410
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 364
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Story4 out of 5 stars 364
Rowan Summerwaite is no ordinary woman. Physical vessel to the Celtic goddess Brigid and raised by the leader of the Vampire Nation, she's a supercharged hunter with the power to slay any vampire who violates the age-old treaty. A recent string of murders has her at odds with Las Vegas's new Scion, the arrogant and powerful Clive Stewart. The killings have the mark of Vampire all over them, and Rowan warns Clive to keep his people in line - or she'll mete out her own brand of justice.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Average
- By Leesa on 03-26-13
By: Lauren Dane
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Death Becomes Her
- The Kurtherian Gambit, Book 1
- By: Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,305
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,133
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,130
What you thought you knew about vampires and werewolves is wrong...so very, very, wrong. A thousand years of effort to keep the Unknown World hidden is unraveling and the Patriarch is tired. He needs to find someone to take over. He finds Bethany Anne.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Vamp action at its' finest
- By BikeVON on 04-19-17
By: Michael Anderle
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The Bathrobe Knight: Volume 1
- By: Charles Dean
- Narrated by: Matthew Broadhead
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,199
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,110
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,108
Darwin, a video game addict, is sitting in his bathrobe and slippers playing his favorite MMO on a Christmas night when an uninvited guest breaks into his house to steal his belongings. After the scuffle is over he finds himself transported into one of the sword and magic RPG-style MMOs that he has always loved to play, albeit one he has never heard of, where he has to overcome trials and tribulations at every turn as he fights for his life alongside new companions.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Pleasantly surprised!
- By Dave Willmarth on 11-15-17
By: Charles Dean
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Undead Chaos
- By: Joshua Roots
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 118
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 107
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Story4 out of 5 stars 108
The job was simple: decapitate the zombie, get paid, get out. Warlock Marcus Shifter followed the plan perfectly. The corpse, however, did not. Now there's a body on the loose, accusations of illegal necromancy are flying, and the answers are waiting in the perilous alleys between the mortal and paranormal worlds. They're no place for someone who mostly gave up magic after a childhood accident. And given his tendency to shoot off his mouth and his Glock, Marcus is having a hell of a time digging up more than just bodies. When an apocalypse-minded megalomaniac threatens Marcus's family, things get personal.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pretty good "beach" book
- By david on 12-04-13
By: Joshua Roots
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The Epic Crush of Genie Lo
- By: F. C. Yee
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 101
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 87
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 87
The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Enjoyed it more than I expected.
- By kevin on 07-27-21
By: F. C. Yee