Real American

A Memoir

By: Julie Lythcott-Haims

Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims

This program is read by the author.

A fearless debut audiobook memoir in which beloved and bestselling How to Raise an Adult author Julie Lythcott-Haims pulls no punches in her recollections of growing up a biracial black woman in America.

Bringing a poetic sensibility to her prose to stunning effect, Lythcott-Haims briskly and stirringly evokes her personal battle with the low self-esteem that American racism routinely inflicts on people of color. The only child of a marriage between an African-American father and a white British mother, she shows indelibly how so-called "micro" aggressions in addition to blunt force insults can puncture a person's inner life with a thousand sharp cuts. Real American expresses also, through Lythcott-Haims’s path to self-acceptance, the healing power of community in overcoming the hurtful isolation of being incessantly considered "the other."

The author of the New York Times bestselling anti-helicopter parenting manifesto How to Raise an Adult, Lythcott-Haims offers listeners a different kind of story this time out, but one that will nevertheless resonate with the legions of students, educators and parents to whom she is now well known, by whom she is beloved, and to whom she has always provided wise and necessary counsel about how to embrace and nurture their best selves. Real American is an affecting memoir, an unforgettable cri de coeur, and a clarion call to all of us to live more wisely, generously and fully.

“Courageous, achingly honest."
—Michelle Alexander, New York Times bestselling author of The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness

“A compelling, incisive and thoughtful examination of race, origin and what it means to be called an American. Engaging, heartfelt and beautifully written, Lythcott-Haims explores the American spectrum of identity with refreshing courage and compassion.”
—Bryan Stevenson, New York Times bestselling author of Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption

©2017 Julie Lythcott-Haims (P)2017 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

"Lythcott-Haims is not a tragic figure. From the first chapter, she jabs a finger at the listener while issuing an invitation to listen. This is a growth story, one only the writer can deliver. She knows where to place the emotion--in the pride and love she feels for her father and in the pain of what her Midwestern neighbors really thought of the family. This academic has heart." —AudioFile

“A bold, impassioned memoir that . . . riveting[ly] and deeply . . . sheds fresh light on race and discrimination in American society.” —Publishers Weekly

“Breaks the silence on what it means to grow up mixed-race in America. Her spare but powerful prose has an emotional rawness that will profoundly resonate with all readers and help many feel a little less alone.” —Heidi W. Durrow, New York Times bestselling author of The Girl Who Fell from the Sky

Beautiful, vulnerable, real

This is my first time writing a book review for Audible, despite going through dozens of books a year. This is also the first time I have ever read a book that reflected back to me so much of my own experience and inner life as a Black American woman who is also of mixed parentage and who was raised in relative privilege in white spaces in this country, now married to a white Jewish man. This memoir filled a need I didn’t realize I still had to see that I’m not alone in my experiences, or pain, or shame, or hope, or my continued desire and effort to connect more deeply with the broader Black community in America, and to love myself and us in the face of history and so much ongoing hatred. Lythcott-Haims writes beautifully, with courageous vulnerability and honesty, and I was frequently moved to tears by her words and her reading delivery. I am eternally thankful to the author for sharing her life story, and cannot recommend this book highly enough.

first audible

I loved it. The story line is great and the delivery was even better.

I'm a better American for having listened to this.

It was particularly moving to hear her powerful words spoken by her own captivating voice. So much heart, vulnerability and strength in her story.

Insightful

Great memoir that gets at the heart of the challenges we have with inclusion in this country.

Powerful, well told & worth every minute and dollar

I deeply appreciate this exploration of what it means to be a Black woman in America. The author’s own voice telling the story makes it especially intimate - you hear her voice crack at some painful moments and she tries to rush through others. She is doing this for all of us, so we can better understand ourselves and those around us. I’ll be giving this book as a holiday gift.

Defining what it takes to be

Well written expressed thoughts and dreams of an individual at the forefront of historical and antidotal events.

Must read

Lythcott-Haims really opened my eyes and heart to the essential meaning of “Black Lives Matter,”. This should be required reading for all Americans, especially white - like me. As a hospice volunteer I also thought her writing about end-of -life at the end of the book was among the most beautiful I have read.
Ms Lythcott-Haims Thank you for writing and reading your story.

Audacious introspective journey that turns a light on for many!

Some may understand and it will click, some may refuse to, but either way Julie Lyncott-Haims tells several truths. Some being her own from the depths of a dark subconsciousness. Others being truths not readily admitted by a US society that has refused to fully acknowledge the deep looming wrongs of the past that have now taunted our present. This book lured me in and took me through a range of emotions. Some forced me to look at concepts or ideals my eyes were unable to perceive. Even about myself. So thank you for being brave, naked and taking the lid off and pouring out your reality so that it saturates deeply into us. Thanks for using your voice. Literally and figuratively.

Should be on the reading list for every high school student.

A compelling story about what it means to grow up as a minority in the United States. Any thinking person who does not understand what it means to be a minority in our country would benefit from being educated by this book.

Bravo!

This was a deep dive into the emotional insecurities of a black woman born out of place. Surrounded by people who didn't look like her or understand her but carrying around her neck the yolk of the inhuman treatment that we people of color have known since slavery. In this, I see her come out the other side finally knowing beyond a shadow of doubt, she is black and proud even with all the baggage and future fights destined to come. She reminds me of my 16 year old daughter, born from a Nigerian mother and me, a black man born in Macon, GA. I too can track my ancestors into the depths of slavery: From a slave plantation in Haddock, Georgia to me, the famly's first Doctor. And now I see my daughter who, unlike me, is raised in a neighborhood filled with nationalities and races different from hers. She is overflowing with talent and with a brilliant mind but not entirely sure where she fits in. Yes, she is in Jack and Jill. But even with the advantage of two black parents, she struggles to relate at times to many of the shades of blackness she is now exposed to. She is finally coming into her own. I see her finally claiming her space in our diaspora and I am both proud and afraid. Man, I feel this book! I brought my daughter a copy. I know she will feel it too. Bravo.