Open

An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy

By: Rachel Krantz

Narrated by: Rachel Krantz

An award-winning journalist chronicles her first open relationship with “breathtaking honesty” (Los Angeles Times) in this “sexy, messy, necessary look at polyamory” (The Advocate).

FINALIST FOR THE LAMBDA LITERARY AWARD • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: PopSugar, Them

When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership—just one that did not include monogamy. Intrigued and more than a little nervous, Krantz decided to see whether their love could coexist with the freedom to date other people. Could they strike an exquisite balance between intimacy and independence, and find a way to feel passion for each other once the honeymoon phase ended?

Krantz documents her dive into polyamory, from Brooklyn sex parties to swinging and beyond, in her extraordinary debut memoir. As she attempts to write a new plot for her love story with Adam, she runs up against miscommunications, gaslighting, and ancient power dynamics, and seeks solid ground in a relationship where the rules are ever-shifting. An award-winning journalist, she interviewed scientists, psychologists, and people living and loving outside the mainstream as she searched to understand what polyamory would do to her heart, her mind, and her life.

With an unflinching eye and page-turning storytelling, Open is groundbreaking in both its documentarian approach to polyamory and its explicit subject matter. From debilitating anxiety spirals to heart-opening connections with the men and women she dates, Rachel puts her whole self on the line as she attempts to redefine what a relationship is—or could be.

©2022 Rachel Krantz (P)2022 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

“Open is . . . neither a manifesto of polyamorous ideals nor an argument against it. Instead, it’s Krantz’s sincere and curious reckoning with the cultural messaging we all receive about gendered expectations and power dynamics in romantic and sexual relationships in general . . .”—NPR

“[Krantz’s] breathtaking honesty in probing the serious downsides of polyamory while eschewing outmoded patriarchal codes of morality should allow for an overdue dialogue about what makes any relationship work.”—Los Angeles Times

“Titillating . . . Krantz sweeps readers into a narrative that seduces and educates in equal measure . . . [Open] offers an alluring and insightful look at a life lived outside of conventional structures.”—Publishers Weekly

Captivating!

It was like a scary roller-coaster ride. A fantastic insight into an alternative lifestyle.

Whew

Well, that was intense. But worth it. It reminded me so much of previous toxic relationships I've been in that my own trauma was triggered multiple times. (I'm made thankful that I only stayed for a few months, not years...) But I'm glad I pushed through to the finish and the healing process. Very relatable, well written, and inspiring!

Really relatable

I really like how honest this came across and loved the moments that as someone in the life style there were parts were I'm like "That was totally my exp too!" reg little things that are talked about that are details that only someone that has been in the life style would be familiar with and it really brings home this is someones account it's not just fiction. Totally worth the read

Starts like a Poly 50 Shades, but finished so strong. I would recommend

I really had a hard time with the first… maybe half of the book. Reminding myself this is a memoir and not a “how to” helped center the story better. The book starts out like the poly version of 50 Shades of Grey and I just wanted to shake her out of the train wreck I was observing. This says something, the author lived this experience and she rose from it. I can really appreciate that non-monogamy is a difficult journey for many, for some of the same reasons monogamy is hard. Any relationship can be hard and so many of us could use better communication, self awareness and therapy. Not all relationships are good or healthy and it starts with us doing our own work.

The author really bared herself out there for us. Her candor and authenticity are shocking at times, relatable, frustrating, and in the end therapeutic because she is not alone.

Great Job Rachel, and glad for your story to be out there.

Just So Good

She spoke so many of my thoughts and feelings, made the crazy I've felt and experienced seem so much less mine or mine alone which was a beautiful experience. I have kept so much internalized that she powerfully, vulnerably, and knowledgeably shared...truly allowing her painful experiences to heal herself and others through this book. I couldn't stop listening and thank the universe for sending me this book when I needed it, and thank Rachel for writing it!

Tragic love story meets polyamory dissertation

This book intrigued me. I enjoyed hearing it all in the author’s own voice and her footnotes throughout were incredibly well researched and taught me a lot about polyamory, relationship anarchy, swingers, as well as racism and feminism. The plentiful sex scenes (full of pornographic details) ranged from fascinating to shocking to distressing. But ultimately the polyamory is just a context: it is at its core a tragic love story of one woman’s downward spiral in (and reemergence from) a bad relationship.

Moved to tears countless times

I’m in a particular phase of my life right now where I don’t know if the traditional mold of relationships fits with my personality anymore.
I’ve been in a long term monogamous ( not married, but we live together) relationship for 11yrs.
I however am 44 and not starting off as this author did, in her 20’s, but I don’t know what would be best suited for my partner and I.
This book was incredibly informative, inspiring, interesting, and my heart broke with her on her journey of discovery and growth during her relationship with “ Adam”. I have not been in officially open relationships, but I have ABSOLUTELY been Gaslighted before & as it was unfolding on the page my heart squeezed in anxiety and anger.
I identified tremendous with Rachel ( especially the younger me in my 20’s and exploring relationships)
This book managed to be be filled with so much information in regards to ALL the different types of ways of being in relationships these days, as well as so much inclusivity in queer and all related subjects ways of being in relationship ( if there was something to note that was different)
Also factoring race and culture in , this book was very politically correct and sensitive, without feeling righteous or preachy.
It felt raw, authentic, it felt like a woman sharing her story, her feelings, even when they might not be deemed socially acceptable by the general standard of normative ways of being.
But I devoured it and I am beyond grateful for this author and her words and honesty.
I would absolutely recommend reading this.
It’s at once a beautiful story of a young woman growing and learning, discovering who she is and what she’s really made of, a love story, and sexual exploration journey, and also a wealth of information about a ton of topics that are truly fascinating to learn about.

An honest, well written contemporaneous journal of one person’s experience testing open relationships.

I think what I found most interesting about this book is that it vulnerably explores the pains and the pleasures of an open relationship.   That it’s from a woman’s perspective and based on real time journal entries with after-the-fact research offered in support of many of the ideas and experiences ultimately makes for a well written, engaging read or listen.
 
If you are at all interested in the topic of open relationships, this book should be on your short list.

Kudos!

Krantz is a wicked smart person. Wow, what a powerful book. I finished it a couple of days ago. I am still digesting it. I believe people should be able to love and have sex how they authentically love and have sex, without being shamed, as long as it's done with consent. Krantz had a long-term relationship that involved abusive behavior. This is not a mark against consensual non-monogamy (CNM). Plenty of monogamous relationships also involve abusive behavior.
I like that Krantz included enough footnotes to substantiate that many of her points were not just opinions she conjured up. I listened to the Audible version. I may need to buy a hard copy to follow up on her references. Yes, it's that good.
I liked how Krantz breaks the fourth wall and writes directly to her future readers at times. It's like she's writing a letter to a friend. This really personalizes and makes more intimate the connection between Krantz and her readers.
Krantz joins Gracie X and Sophie Lucido Johnson and other amazing talented women who have written books about CNM relationships. We need more books on this subject. These books are stories that expand the imagination of the possible and encourage people to live more authentic lives without shame. We definitely need that.
Kudos Rachel Krantz, kudos!

Realistic and informative

I love being able to hear about an authentic polyam experience. So often we feel the need to be represented, that we do so at the cost of being real. Real people in relationships aren’t always the best. Thank you for sharing your true experience. This is art.